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monika16
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Is it a sin to live with another person before marriage?
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Chovy
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In most cases, yes.
It is a sin for a man and woman to live together prior to marriage and engage in premarital sex.
It is usually a sin for a man and a woman to live together without the benefit of marriage and to not engage in premarital sex as they are causing scandal. In this case there is more than likely also the near occasion of sin. There could be case-by-case extenuating circumstances to consider with the assistance of a qualified spiritual counselor.
It is NOT a sin for two close relatives of the opposite sex to live together, such as a brother and sister.
It is a sin for a man and woman to live together prior to marriage and engage in premarital sex.
It is usually a sin for a man and a woman to live together without the benefit of marriage and to not engage in premarital sex as they are causing scandal. In this case there is more than likely also the near occasion of sin. There could be case-by-case extenuating circumstances to consider with the assistance of a qualified spiritual counselor.
It is NOT a sin for two close relatives of the opposite sex to live together, such as a brother and sister.
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Sina
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Chovy is right. Even though society seems to think it is okay, it is still wrong.
I did it before marriage. I did it for financial reasons… but those reasons aren’t justifying what I did. I was still wrong. Cohabitation is on the rise, but it doesn’t make it right. As a Christian, it should not be done, even if you see other Christians doing it.
I did it before marriage. I did it for financial reasons… but those reasons aren’t justifying what I did. I was still wrong. Cohabitation is on the rise, but it doesn’t make it right. As a Christian, it should not be done, even if you see other Christians doing it.
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ComputerGeek25
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Chovy
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Sina
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You can cause Scandal by living together but not having sexual relations, by showing other Christians that you are cohabitating. People in your church or community might look at you as a couple, and think, “it is ok for me to cohabitate because they are cohabitating Christians and it seems ok that they are doing it” I was one such fool who saw other wonderful Catholic couples living together before marriage. I thought somehow it was ok to do it myself because they did it too, especially since I wasn’t having pre-marital relations with my husband. I was wrong.
It certainly isn’t helping the cause by living together, even if you aren’t having sex.
I’m not sure if “scandal” is a mortal sin though… anyone have any thoughts on that?
It certainly isn’t helping the cause by living together, even if you aren’t having sex.
I’m not sure if “scandal” is a mortal sin though… anyone have any thoughts on that?
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samalam817
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I do not completley agree with living together before marriage…often times the divorce rate is higher. I can see the pro’s and the con’s but i personally would not want to live with someone before marriage simply because many people do it in order to see if the relationship will work out in the long run… to me that is insulting even fake because if you truly love someone you will stick with them through the thick and the thin. Yet I know people who live together and have a normal life and family although they are not married so i do not see why this is wrong if they are still commited to each other like any other married couple.
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Chovy
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The flaw in your last sentence is that they are not committed to each other like any other married couple. They have made no vows before God to love and cherish each other all the days of their lives. They are not bound together through civil law either. The strength of the institution of marriage is the foundation on which a society rests.
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elechxxx
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Is it a sin?
In today’s society, most people do it. Even though most people were raised in religious families, they are influenced by society and do move out to live with others. Society is making this issue look okay because most people do it, when truly it isn’t really right. If you were raised that way, you should keep it that way.
In today’s society, most people do it. Even though most people were raised in religious families, they are influenced by society and do move out to live with others. Society is making this issue look okay because most people do it, when truly it isn’t really right. If you were raised that way, you should keep it that way.
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marienid
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I believe that marriage in itself is sacred, and commiting to someone through the church or state in this way may be one of the most important decisions in your life. It’s a way to set a label on the love you have.However, i do not believe that it is necessary by any means. You still love the person you are with no matter what therefore, marriage would not change anything between the two of you except make things “more official” to societal norms. When you choose to live with someone it’s because you feel comfortable with this person. In most cases the love is there with or without marriage and it does not change. Living together before marriage even has a positive side since you get to accuire a real view of your significant other since you spend the entire day with them and not just moments. You get to become accustomed to their habits and grow a deeper bond or you have the chance to see that living together just would not work. So in my opinion its better to live with each other and make these discoveries before you get married and end up divorced.
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nobeerinheaven
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This was the perfect answer, right off the bat.
It deserves to be repeated.
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JCismywingman
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Well, i used to think that chaste cohabitating was alright. However, now that i’ve been there, done that, i feel that couples should only move in with each other when they’re married.
Like some one mentioned in an earlier post, being committed is still different from being married. It is more likely that a committed couple will still split up and not try to work things out compared to a married couple. Assuming both couples are equally devout Catholics.
However, there are certain exceptions i would imagine. If one were living in a shared house and got together with one of the room mates, should they than find separate accomodation just cos they would now be cohabitating? Personally in this case, i would say continue to live together in that house till the opportunity arises (eg lease ends and decided whether or not to continue living there.
The main point i’m trying to put across is that for couples who are still discerning if cohabitating is a sin because they are thinking of cohabitating, don’t do it.
If i may ride on this thread, what are your views on couples travelling together before marriage? Wouldn’t that also be a ‘scandal’ as is cohabitating? ie people perceive you to be living in sin even though you may be chaste.
Like some one mentioned in an earlier post, being committed is still different from being married. It is more likely that a committed couple will still split up and not try to work things out compared to a married couple. Assuming both couples are equally devout Catholics.
However, there are certain exceptions i would imagine. If one were living in a shared house and got together with one of the room mates, should they than find separate accomodation just cos they would now be cohabitating? Personally in this case, i would say continue to live together in that house till the opportunity arises (eg lease ends and decided whether or not to continue living there.
The main point i’m trying to put across is that for couples who are still discerning if cohabitating is a sin because they are thinking of cohabitating, don’t do it.
If i may ride on this thread, what are your views on couples travelling together before marriage? Wouldn’t that also be a ‘scandal’ as is cohabitating? ie people perceive you to be living in sin even though you may be chaste.
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Sina
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Yeah I have wondered about the travelling thing too. I know of couples who don’t live together before marriage but when they travel, they share a bed. Or if they visit their cottage by the lake or whatever, they share a bed… and they do have sleepovers… 
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yessisan
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I’m sorry to say but statistics have proven this wrong. There is a higher chance you will get divorced if you cohabit. It has been studied here in the US and has been proven that more couples end up divorcing if they lived together before marriage.
It’s wrong to live with your other half before marriage. Why try to fool yourself? That’s Satan trying to tell you it’s ok just because it mimics marriage. Marriage is sacred, marriage binds you together by God. God created marriage, therefore it should be respected as God wants us to.
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Liberanosamalo
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What everyone else said. Plus one more thing: if while you were “planning” the marriage and you were living together you found out something really bad about that person to cause you to have to break up, it’s much more difficult to unentwine possessions, contracts, leases and other things. Some people stay in bad situations because they’re already up to their neck in it.
And some people move in under the promise that they will marry and they wait and wait and wait for that wedding that just never seems to come…
And some people move in under the promise that they will marry and they wait and wait and wait for that wedding that just never seems to come…
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Other_Eric
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Yes.
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royal_archer
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My wife and I lived together prior to marriage. I justified it my mind saying we were engaged and committed. We also saved about $600 a month in rent. Then I justified in my mind that we were not making a rash decision by saying to my self the engangement was going to last 10 months. If I could do it over again I would have waited. Because once I moved in with her we were committed. I my case I looked past things that I probably should have paid more attention to. When I make a commitment I try to follow through.
After 15 years we are the exception to the rule and are still married. However, it is a tough marriage that probably wouldn’t have lasted if I were not so stuborn about following through with my committments.
After 15 years we are the exception to the rule and are still married. However, it is a tough marriage that probably wouldn’t have lasted if I were not so stuborn about following through with my committments.
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Dtmccameron
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I suppose this is really the OPPOSITE of what y’all are talking about, but how do you feel about two wed individuals NOT living together?
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feather28
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Thus far in my life I have been a practicing Catholic. However, the Catholic Church and their responses to cohabitation discourage me. I am not growing up in the same era as my parents. They were married at a younger age and usually went from living with their parents to living with their husbands. They did not have the responsibility of added financial burdens such as rent, heat, water, etc. (multiplied by two)
I am 28 and recently engaged. I am a couple months away from graduation from graduate school. My fiancé lives and works in another state than the one I am currently residing in. We have been away from each other for a year now and have not had premarital relations or have ever lived together (so far by the book).
As we plan for our futures I am looking for a job out where he is residing. However, to get an apartment separate from the one he is living in seems ridiculous. How are we ever supposed to afford a wedding? At this point we could afford to just get married by a priest without reception or anything. We would like a traditional wedding that would be a happy occasion that we can share with our family and friends. This is not an option at this point in time, not to mention that if I got an apartment for myself that is only money that could have been spent towards our wedding. If we move in together, but stay true to our commitment to not have premarital relations. Why is that wrong?
In today’s economy young couples have it hard as it is. Why does the church have to make it even harder with superannuated doctrine? Maybe it’s time for the church to reevaluate itself and have trust in their patrons, as responsible committed people of faith.
I am 28 and recently engaged. I am a couple months away from graduation from graduate school. My fiancé lives and works in another state than the one I am currently residing in. We have been away from each other for a year now and have not had premarital relations or have ever lived together (so far by the book).
As we plan for our futures I am looking for a job out where he is residing. However, to get an apartment separate from the one he is living in seems ridiculous. How are we ever supposed to afford a wedding? At this point we could afford to just get married by a priest without reception or anything. We would like a traditional wedding that would be a happy occasion that we can share with our family and friends. This is not an option at this point in time, not to mention that if I got an apartment for myself that is only money that could have been spent towards our wedding. If we move in together, but stay true to our commitment to not have premarital relations. Why is that wrong?
In today’s economy young couples have it hard as it is. Why does the church have to make it even harder with superannuated doctrine? Maybe it’s time for the church to reevaluate itself and have trust in their patrons, as responsible committed people of faith.
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MomaMary8
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Oh MY!! the sacrament of marriage is the important part of the wedding, not the party. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your view of what the church’s purpose is. We are NOT patrons, but are followers of Christ, trying to live by the rules God has set forth, with guidance from His church.
I was so anxious to be married to my husband,I would have been happy to be married by the priest in the sacistry. My mother wanted the full wedding, so I let her. You need to prioitize what is important to you.
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