I agree with everything you’re saying, and I’m not saying people have to marry in their late teens. I’m less enthusiastic about dating than you are, though I agree that in many parts of society today it has given place to far more destructive patterns. I think that 1950s-style dating was probably harmless, but the serial (non-sexual) monogamy that relatively conservative, serious Christian young people engage in does (as the more radical conservatives are fond of claiming) set them up for divorce, because they come to expect to move through one relationship after another and think that this is the path to maturity.
Why do you think that warning people against the superstition of the “right person” (not the same thing as a pious trust in divine Providence) is not a good place to start?
You are right that basic moral principles and character-building are the most important thing, but it’s also important to think about how our society constructs marriage and sexuality, because this sets us up to fall into certain kinds of temptations.
Edwin
Hi Edwin,
You’re obviously sincere, but individuals construct their lives, not the society around them. Catholics need to be reminded that God is the central relationship in their lives, followed by family and friends. At the end of our lives, that’s what we have.
It’s interesting that following a perverse “sexual revolution” in the late 1960s, primarily due to the availability of the birth control pill, Catholics have been gradually weaned away from proven, time tested ways for young men and women to get to know each other in a Godly way.
Courtship with the knowledge and approval of parents.
Chapperoned dates for younger teens.
Discussion with both parents about engagement and future plans relating to marriage and children.
Talking to a priest, both of you, about your feelings and plans.
Engagement, during which practical discussions occur about the future. Admit your faults to one another.
Marriage. Either party can back out at the last minute.
Pray to God for guidance during the entire relationship. We cannort exclude Him from this.
American society began to slowly slide into an abyss in the late 1960s. Movies and television amplified and hastened this slide.
The National Organization of Women, instead of establishing ways to solve problems between men and women, aroused fear, suspicion and a feeling of victimization among women. “Throw off the chains of your oppressor!!” Men were made the enemy.
As No-Fault Divorce completed its sweep across the country in the 1980s, I began to hear, “Hey, if it doesn’t work out, we can always get a divorce.” Porn proliferated via Adult Bookstores and Hotels and Motels. By the end of the 1990s, porn on the internet and Partial Nudity and Adult Language on network TV.
Wake up my brothers and sisters in Christ. Some of us have walked so far away from God that we are living just like the world. Divorce around the same rates, promiscuity, kids who aren’t raised but fed and clothed and out the door by 18.
If we look back, the holiness and manifestation of Christ’s life in our lives, families and neighborhoods has been severely damaged. The National Organization of Women, an explosion in the number of Adult Bookstores, porn on the internet, partial nudity magazines on supermarket shelves, NONE of this was going on in the 1960s.
I grew up with modesty in dress and speech, politeness, gentleness, a sense of guilt and remorse for sins. Now, everything is eXtreme, no modesty, cussing and swearing, rudeness toward all, including parents, and sin, what’s that?
Just as the Israelites in the Bible, repent of your sins and return to the way God wants you to live. Society is of the world, but although we are in the world, we are not of the world. We should be strangers to this sort of behavior. I can’t take a date to a movie nowadays as in the past. Odds are, we’re going to see an attractive couple hop into bed, then declare a relationship, get married, and after shooting first and asking questions later, then they find out who they are really with. Example: I met a beautiful young lady who told me she had only been married 9 months. Apparently, AFTER the ceremony, she found out her husband was a “nut,” And before the ceremony?
A revival of the Holy Spirit must occur in our lives. “Society” did not become the way it is now by accident. Buy and read Catholic magazines and newspapers. Get a Catholic perspective on the world. Examine your life and begin cutting out what’s unGodly about it. There are groups like Ave Maria Singles where Catholics looking for other committed Catholics can get together. It can be done but we must return our thoughts and our lives to God.
God bless,
Ed
) and begged them to keep up the good fight because it is beyond worth it. You don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that gift. It’s incredible and priceless, and once it’s gone it’s GONE.
