Cohabitation

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I had a discussion with a close friend who is considering cohabitating with his future fiancee but staying celibate. Despite the practical difficulties of doing this, and assuming he can actually pull that part off, can someone explain why this is wrong. I believe that it is according to Church teaching (please correct me in any case if I’m wrong), but I want to understand it or perhaps charitably pointed in the right direction so I can understand it better (and I guess he is asking me to help him understand it because he doesn’t see a problem with it).

Thank you,
Bryan
 
I always thought it wasn’t a sin, though not necessarily wise as long as they lived “as brother and sister”.
 
The number of unmarried couples exploded in the late 1960s and 1970s. I lived through that time and it was considered a scandal, not just for Catholics but Christians in general. It’s also an opportunity for a near occasion of sin. However, we, meaning most people in the United States at the time, generally trusted authority figures more. But, groups like the Hippies told us, at the time, to reject authority in general, including Church authority and teaching. And even warnings from our own parents. I think the following article will be helpful for you and your friend:

americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0603.asp

Peace,
Ed
 
bscastro said:
I had a discussion with a close friend who is considering cohabitating with his future fiancee but staying celibate. Despite the practical difficulties of doing this, and assuming he can actually pull that part off, can someone explain why this is wrong. I believe that it is according to Church teaching (please correct me in any case if I’m wrong), but I want to understand it or perhaps charitably pointed in the right direction so I can understand it better (and I guess he is asking me to help him understand it because he doesn’t see a problem with it).

Thank you,
Bryan
Click to expand...
It is not a sin sleeping with my girlfriend but being celibate.
Though, come on … it is pretty naive, no?
 
bscastro said:
I had a discussion with a close friend who is considering cohabitating with his future fiancee but staying celibate. Despite the practical difficulties of doing this, and assuming he can actually pull that part off, can someone explain why this is wrong. I believe that it is according to Church teaching (please correct me in any case if I’m wrong), but I want to understand it or perhaps charitably pointed in the right direction so I can understand it better (and I guess he is asking me to help him understand it because he doesn’t see a problem with it).

Thank you,
Bryan
Click to expand...
I would guess that being a potential source of scandal and a near-occasion of sin would place this arrangement in the category of prudential judgment but not actual sin. IOW, it’s not a good idea.
 
At no time in history was this every acceptable.

Back in the 70’s and 80’s it started to happen, but, it was something that nice people did not do. In the late 80’s a few friends I knew did it, but, they lied to parents and landlords because it was scandalous.

Now, for some reason, we suddenly think it is normal.

Please, you have a lifetime to live as husband and wife. Don’t shack up before the wedding.
 
When you move in with someone that is not your wife/husband…you are essentially living as two single people under one roof.
This makes marriage far more difficult because you can’t see the difference between what is mine and what is yours when you get married. This changes to what is ours. Married people who cohabitate still have a sense of “mine” and “yours” if they have already lived together. This makes married life far more difficult. The mindset of my couch, my dog, my TV, my money, my bills still exist in the marriage and there is no sense of unity or “oneness.”

Not to mention the obvious fact that you are setting yourself up to sin.
 
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