Coitus interruptus?

[aggiecatholic85]

My husband and I practice NFP but there are times where we throw in the towel and embrace the possibility of another child during possible fertility. Lately, (as modestly as I can put it) we will come together and my husband is unable to complete the act. Things die down but try as we might, we cannot complete the act to either (or his) finish. It is not consistent - sometimes it is completed. We do not have the intention of coitus interruptus but it is very hard to get things going again when he is slow to orgasm and it does get tiring. And we are not talking about a few minutes…we do try for an hour or more. Sometimes we have to give up trying to complete the act.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

If you’re asking whether that is a sin…I don’t think it is. Physically, stuff gets exhausting. As you say, it’s not your intention to stop, but things happen. You were open to life, for as long as you could be.

Anyway, “coitus interruptus” means withdrawal at the moment of ejaculation, which it doesn’t seem that you are doing.

Coitus Interruptus

 

[aggiecatholic85]

Right. I guess I feel I am not trying hard enough or something but our stopping the marital act comes from exhaustion first and foremost. If he does finish, we complete the act properly.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Right. I guess I feel I am not trying hard enough or something but our stopping the marital act comes from exhaustion first and foremost. If he does finish, we complete the act properly.

Then you are not in sin. Everyone gets tired sometimes!

 

[twoangels]

My husband and I practice NFP but there are times where we throw in the towel and embrace the possibility of another child during possible fertility. Lately, (as modestly as I can put it) we will come together and my husband is unable to complete the act. Things die down but try as we might, we cannot complete the act to either (or his) finish. It is not consistent - sometimes it is completed. We do not have the intention of coitus interruptus but it is very hard to get things going again when he is slow to orgasm and it does get tiring. And we are not talking about a few minutes…we do try for an hour or more. Sometimes we have to give up trying to complete the act.

This is a question I’ve had in the past as well, but its important to understand that sin comes from an act of the will. We should not willfully thwart the reproductive nature of the sexual act. That being the case, sex doesn’t always happen perfectly. Men can have problems. Women can have problems. If you obsess about the problem, the problem can get worse. Just let the act be what it is and express your love through it. Its like this. God designed eating to nourish my body, but things can go wrong and I can end up in the bathroom for a long time. That’s just how things are. What would be sinfully is willfully seeking out those sorts of things.

I can understand though how disconcerting it is. Catholic speakers can be pretty specific about premature ejaculation not being sinful. They’re probably help a lot of people out to be more vague about what sorts of problems people can have and rather emphasis that sin is willfully thwarting the nature of the act.

 

[mwncheesehead]

It’s my understand from other responses on this board regarding the morality of your question is that you need to begin intercourse with the intention of completing the act. Sometimes he may be able to ejaculate, sometimes he may not be able to. As Twoangels said, sin is in the will, and it sounds like you and your husband have the intention of completing the sex act so it’s not sinful. Coitus interuptus has to do with the male withdrawing before his orgasm, which is different from your situation.

 

[Robertanthony]

It never occurred to me that there can be two kinds of coitus interruptus, one is willful and with the express intention of avoiding conception (thus contra-ception) the other is not willful and is not the result of you being not open to life. Nothing displeasing to God in the slightest thus far.