For sure some of you has read my previous post. After that incident he apologize to me n to the kids but I’m on guard already. Finally talked about 2 days after the incident. House is so quiet. A week later, he erupted again because he said I don’t trust his decisions, yelling n calling me again as to what kind of wife I am, Ms. Perfect or you think u r perfect, " I don’t care about you". This time he asked me to leave because he said he is not leaving the house and he will take my kids with him if I won’t follow his decisions. Now I am acting civilly with him that’s about it. I don’t know what else I can do except to be mellow for the kids sake. I attended a conference this afternoon n my son texted me that he is not in a good mood and won’t take them anywhere. He said because the kids has not done their chores. My son expressed that he was just shaken when his dad yelled one time " not fun to be shaken". Just told him just be quiet pray n such coz I wasn’t around. I am not sure what else to do. Shall I just endure until my children becomes old enough for themselves? Despite all these my kids have endured with me. They are very encouraging and maintained well in school. Pls include us in you prayers. Thanks
Butterflylily, can you get counseling? I’d normally recommend marital counseling, but I doubt he’d be interested, though he desperately needs it. So, I’ll just recommend individual counseling.
Your health insurance may pay for a few visits.
There are also domestic abuse hotlines.
thehotline.org/ You can also contact them online, now. This is just one hotline, but there are many others.
Please talk to someone about this, also so that you can build a case, have the evidence you need.
I’d encourage you to first talk to someone at the hotline in case you need to get to a shelter, you and the kids. Keep the number in your cell phone, but put it under anything else that he wouldn’t suspect.
Call when he’s not around. They will advise you on how to proceed.
You need support, resources, help deciding what to do, and how to do it. I’d recommend you don’t try to do this alone.
Your primary concern needs to be your own personal safety and that of the kids. The Church, even when one is married, doesn’t expect one to submit to abuse. When he is not around, seek help and support. There is a pattern people who are abusive tend to use, isolating the abused one from family and friends.
To break out, you will absolutely have to get some kind of outside help, be it from the shelter. Right now, it is probably even hard for you to think clearly, since you don’t know what to expect from moment to moment.
It would be helpful to have someone, objective, neutral, outside all of this to guide you during this time, help you make decisions, who knows resources.
