Coldness

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neisan

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Now this is not a thread about coldness but rather on unfeeling.I am a Catholic and grasp the concept of death.Now when there is a natural disaster or a murder of anyone,I just cannot feel sad.I cannot rouse myself into emotion for the feaths of people.Yet,when there is an animal that is killed,I feel sad for it.Is this bad?I think I don’t feel because I know that if the people who died were good,they were fine,and that once animals die,it’s over for them.It seems I am a very unfeeling person,but I understand that every life is sacred,but I cannot feel something that I just can’t feel.
 
Were you by chance emotionally abused as a child?

Maybe you should see a counselor/therapist regardless.
 
Emily2009 said:
Were you by chance emotionally abused as a child?

Maybe you should see a counselor/therapist regardless.
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No,I am raised by a soldier and a stay-at-home mom.I had a perfectly normal childhood and am rarely hit,and if I was,I deserved it and it wasn’t a punch or throwing me into a wall.I can feel emotions for the deaths of children,seeing as they never had a chance,but natural disasters,school shooting,murders of adults,I just say:“Oh well”.
 
Do you ever actually truly think about these tragedies in detail and consider all the depths of the people who were killed? Maybe you just aren’t compassionate or empathetic.
 
mariahloves said:
Do you ever actually truly think about these tragedies in detail and consider all the depths of the people who were killed? Maybe you just aren’t compassionate or empathetic.
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No,no,I understand that they died and that there are families that miss them and weep for their loss,I just cannot feel sad.As I said,why should we feel sad about death?If we are Christians here,then we should realize that they are with the Lord now,they’re not destroyed.I’m not even sure how I would feel if a member of my family died,since I know they are on the way to a good place.
 
It is very easy in our society to become numb to the deaths of those we don’t know. We see so much death every day in the news, video games, movies, TV, books, etc. that we can easily shut down our emotions.
I think praying for people involved in tragedies in a very thoughtful way can help open us up to brotherly love and care and allow us to feel a connection to them.
 
It could be because you can’t relate. If you’ve never experienced someone close to you pass away, or if you don’t know the person at all, it can be difficult to put yourself in their shoes. I’m sure as you live life and have more experiences, you will naturally feel more for them.
Nevertheless, I wouldn’t worry too much about “feeling” when it comes to these kind of things- everyone reacts differently. It’s how you treat people that’s important. Sometimes a lack of feeling can be good, because if you’re not caught up in emotions, God can use you to help in ways that others who are suffering can’t. Love goes beyond feelings! As long as you strive to love, you’re golden 🙂
But if you would like to increase your empathy, you may want to try praying for those who are in pain, and praying for empathy in general.
 
neisan said:
No,no,I understand that they died and that there are families that miss them and weep for their loss,I just cannot feel sad.As I said,why should we feel sad about death?If we are Christians here,then we should realize that they are with the Lord now,they’re not destroyed.I’m not even sure how I would feel if a member of my family died,since I know they are on the way to a good place.
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Not everyone goes to be with God after death. You should feel sad because death is a sad thing, it’s a loss. Family and friends lose people they loved very much, depended on, supported, etc. it’s just sad. I’m very empathetic but I will say that the more news you watch, the more violent movies you watch, the more violent video games you play and stuff…then it begins to dissensitize you. If you can’t feel sad though, don’t force it. Just accept it and move on.
 
It is possible that being emotionally removed from the situation is a coping mechanism for your mind. You mentioned having a father that was a solider? Maybe when you were young you were afraid he might be killed at some point, so your distanced yourself from the emotion of human death in order not to be so scared.

Also, in this society when we have access to 24 hours news and we see death everyday, it is sometimes hard to really comprehend the loss of a life. I was just reading about the bombings in Moscow this morning and I admit, it was easy to sort of skim over the details with little emotion. Society has just become so fast and forgetful. Myself, I should really be dedicating more time to prayer for the deceased by way of the St. Gertrude prayer.
 
No, I don’t think that it is bad.

I have to say that I share your feelings. I know that human life is sacred. I have experienced the loss of friends and loved ones. I have never cried as hard in my life as when my dog died.
 
My dear friend

I think we are desensitised by the media showing us it constantly and continually. Also when we’re at ground zero or in the midst of it we feel differently. But death is a normal part of our existene as you say. I know St Teresa of Avila never mourned the death of anyone, she would just mourn the death of a servant of God who could have done more work for God. But we’ve been very desensitised , and by video games as well as the media.

I hope this helps.

God bless you and pray for me please:thumbsup:🙂

John
 
I think sometimes that “coldness” is a defense mechanism we unconsciously use because we cannot face the tragedy fully. I have experienced this type of thing before, where I just emotionally shut down in the face of bad news. Other times it just might be that we hear so much of tragedies constantly in the media that we become desensitized.

It is not so much how we feel, though, as how we act. Doing things such as praying for people undergoing tragedies, or donating money and time to the relief of suffering, or visiting the sick, etc. is more important than the feelings we have or don’t have.
 
are you trying to say that, you cry if it’s a person or animal you know that died, and you feel sad for the families of the one who died, but if you don’t know the person who died then you don’t feel sad? that’s normal, the sadness we feel when someone dies comes from missing them, but if you didn’t know them, then it’s understandable how it wouldn’t effect you that way, although that’s not to say you can’t feel sad even for someone you don’t know, but if you don’t, that doesn’t mean you’re cold, it just means you view it differently, some people are just a little more tough skinned than others, there’s nothing wrong with that, we need stronger people like you to support us in harder times, sure it’s nice to have someone to cry with, but it’s also nice to have someone to pick you up to.
although we should feel disturbed at certain circumstances involving the death…but that can be attributed to desensitization, and that’s probably a different subject altogether from what you’re talking about.

well, i’m not sure if that’s what you meant, but either way, don’t worry about it to much, a lack of tears for people you don’t know doesn’t mean you love any less than others, i’m sure you have lots of love in you, and Jesus loves you beyond measure, despite any imperfections you may have, just do what you can and that’s enough, no one’s asking you for anymore than you are able, not even God.

ok? hope this helps, take care.
 
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