Colour of vestments for funeral Mass at your parish?

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YoungTradCath said:
A reminder that we are mourning for someone and not canonizing them.

White vestments at Requiems is fake and it just gives off that insta-heaven vibe. We should be constantly reminded at Requiems to pray for our sinner relative/friend to purge him of his temporal punishment in purgatory, and the environment should feel like that. Prayer is what helps them, not “celebrating the life of Annie who is in heaven (oh really?) right now.”
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A big part of a funeral is for remembering and celebrating the life of the deceased. They’re also just as much for the family and friends of the deceased as they are for the person who died.

As someone who, along with other posters here, has grieved parents, grandparents, and a sibling, I can tell you that black, white, grey… to the grieving the vestment colors really don’t matter. I have no idea what color vestments the priest who said my grandfather’s
Mass wore. But 15 years on I can still remember his homily, his kind words about my grandfather’s life, the story of how he visited our farm and was attacked by the geese, his comforting words about what we could take away from grandpa’s final illness and death.

If funeral Masses need to be comforting for the grieving. If I knew that my funeral Mass was going to be a grim reminder to my husband and family that I was suffering in the afterlife, I’d want to save my family from that torment and not have one said.

Luna
 
maryjk said:
Who is neglecting to pray for the dead? The Mass is for the dead. That is why we are there. No one has said to not pray for the dead. Or even to remind people to pray for the dead.

What I am saying that that it doesn’t matter what color the priest wears. Those that are grieving don’t remember. It isn’t that big of a deal.
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You can’t always speak for everyone. I remember what the minister for my [protestant] grandfather was wearing at his funeral. It was a medium gray suit with a red tie. Some people notice things, other people don’t.
 
In the big picture of life and death, I hardly think the color of what someone was wearing really matters much.🤷
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
A big part of a funeral is for remembering and celebrating the life of the deceased. They’re also just as much for the family and friends of the deceased as they are for the person who died.

As someone who, along with other posters here, has grieved parents, grandparents, and a sibling, I can tell you that black, white, grey… to the grieving the vestment colors really don’t matter. I have no idea what color vestments the priest who said my grandfather’s
Mass wore. But 15 years on I can still remember his homily, his kind words about my grandfather’s life, the story of how he visited our farm and was attacked by the geese, his comforting words about what we could take away from grandpa’s final illness and death.

If funeral Masses need to be comforting for the grieving. If I knew that my funeral Mass was going to be a grim reminder to my husband and family that I was suffering in the afterlife, I’d want to save my family from that torment and not have one said.

Luna
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I’m sorry but the Funeral Mass is not about remembering and celebrating the life of the deceased. It’s about praying for him/her. The only personalization is in the Prayers of the Faithful and the Eucharistic Prayer and there again we pray for the deceased by name. Even if it’s a funeral Mass it still about worshipping and praising God with and through his Son.

Sure, the priest often brings things into the homily, and usually says that the deceased is with God, making me want to wave my hand and ask, “How do you known that?” The Order of Christian Funerals is clear that the homily is not to be a eulogy, but that’s usually how it turns out.
 
At all of the funerals I have cantored through the years for people I didn’t know and also for family members and friends at many different parishes, the priests have always worn “white” vestments. I put that in quotes because the vestments tend to be a cream color more than white. The only funeral I do not remember what the priest wore was for my grandfather’s. I was a teenager when he passed and close to him and was grieving too much to pay attention to much around me, let alone what color the priest’s vestments were. The day was a blur to me for the most part, except for the strength and stoicism my dear grandmother showed throughout that time and knowing the responsibility I had helping her henceforth.
 
Pink vestments? Really?

I think I’m as surprised that the parish actually has a set of pink vestments as I am that they get used at a funeral. Pink is the proper color for, what, two days a year?

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If I had my choice, I think I would choose Purple. It seems like a nice compromise…black is too, eh, dark. And white, which we use at events like Weddings and Christmas, just doesn’t seem appropriate.

Purple is penitential, without seeming to imply despair.
 
mburn16,

And the answer is… Gaudette sunday and Laetare Sunday!!!

God Bless
 
Ordinary Form for my grandfathers’ funerals were white. I’ve been to Extraordinary Form requiems as well, but always black.

When it’s my time, I’m demanding black. I don’t want people “celebrating” my life. I’m dead. I’ve went to face my God. Pray for my immortal soul. I need it.
 
Laudate_Dominum said:
Ordinary Form for my grandfathers’ funerals were white. I’ve been to Extraordinary Form requiems as well, but always black.

When it’s my time, I’m demanding black. I don’t want people “celebrating” my life. I’m dead. I’ve went to face my God. Pray for my immortal soul. I need it.
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When you’re gone, you have no say. 😦

My grandmother wanted a Latin Mass, and had a priest that could have done it. But he wouldn’t. My mother begged and cried, and it did no good. You just have no pull once you are gone.
 
maryjk said:
My grandmother wanted a Latin Mass, and had a priest that could have done it. But he wouldn’t. My mother begged and cried, and it did no good. You just have no pull once you are gone.
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I know enough priests that celebrate the TLM that I’m confident it shouldn’t be a problem.
 
In a week I’ll be going to a Funeral Mass (OF). I’m willing to bet $$$$$$$$$$$ that they will use “white” and talk about the"celebration of life".

When did they cast off prayers for the soul of the deceased?

A sad state of affairs. 🤷
 
Our parish buried our pastor last week. The bishop, bishop emeritus and the con-celebrating priests wore violet.
 
Laudate_Dominum said:
When it’s my time, I’m demanding black. I don’t want people “celebrating” my life. I’m dead. I’ve went to face my God. Pray for my immortal soul. I need it.
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corsair said:
In a week I’ll be going to a Funeral Mass (OF). I’m willing to bet $$$$$$$$$$$ that they will use “white” and talk about the"celebration of life".

When did they cast off prayers for the soul of the deceased?

A sad state of affairs. 🤷
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Same here to you both.
No eulogies! They take for granted that God thinks just as highly of the antics of the deceased as** the stupid eulogy **does. 🤷

“Celebration of the life of…” Anything to secularise the whole thing!😦
 
As an ex Protestant, It was quite an adjustment for me to go from attending basically eulogy funerals where there is a pronouncement of “He’s in heaven now” to praying for someone’s soul.

Now that I know better, I want people praying for my soul. If I’m already in heaven, then it won’t matter. If I’m in purgatory, then I will need all the prayers I can get.

Black vestments for me.

I also see a funeral mass as a solemn reminder that “memento mori” and we shall face the judgment one day - some sooner than later.
 
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