Comfirmation and a Chapel Veil

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lizds

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I’m receiving Baptism, Comfirmation, and First Communion this Saturday. : )

The question I have is; can a women wear a chapel veil when recieving the sacrament of comfirmation? The priest that is comfirming me said I am not allowed to wear a veil during the comfirmation and recommended that I did not wear one at all because it would make me ‘stand out’.

By no means am I trying to talk negative about this priest. He is a very kind man and I’m very thankful he allowed me into his RCIA. (I attend a different parish) I prefer a traditional catholic lifestyle… Chapel veils, kneeling for communion, and the like. I know that this priest prefers things a bit more modern. Is he right in telling me I can not wear my veil?

Is there any canon law, dogma, scripture, or what have you that helps shows that he is correct or incorrect? I would like to wear my veil, but I would hate to question his instructions on not allowing me to wear it if I’m the one in the wrong. Any advice would be helpful.
 
lizds said:
I’m receiving Baptism, Comfirmation, and First Communion this Saturday. : )

The question I have is; can a women wear a chapel veil when recieving the sacrament of comfirmation? The priest that is comfirming me said I am not allowed to wear a veil during the comfirmation and recommended that I did not wear one at all because it would make me ‘stand out’.

By no means am I trying to talk negative about this priest. He is a very kind man and I’m very thankful he allowed me into his RCIA. (I attend a different parish) I prefer a traditional catholic lifestyle… Chapel veils, kneeling for communion, and the like. I know that this priest prefers things a bit more modern. Is he right in telling me I can not wear my veil?

Is there any canon law, dogma, scripture, or what have you that helps shows that he is correct or incorrect? I would like to wear my veil, but I would hate to question his instructions on not allowing me to wear it if I’m the one in the wrong. Any advice would be helpful.
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Welcome Home!

canon law is silent but the priest who is confirming you has given you direction about what you are to wear and how you are to comport yourself on this occasion. Period. At this point to do otherwise will seem to have no motive except direct disobedience based on personal preference.
 
I’m sure people will come along and tell you that you have the right to do whatever you want.

But I find it interesting that you want your first act as a new Catholic to be disobedience to your priest’s request. Humility is a difficult virtue to cultivate.
 
This is just me, personally… I would follow his advice and not wear my veil for confirmation, just so that you do not appear to be willfully disobedient. After that, he has no reason to prevent you from wearing a veil to Mass!
 
Practically speaking, I think a veil would get in the way. He will be anointing you with holy chrism on your forehead. Not that I have ever worn a chapel veil.
 
dconklin said:
Practically speaking, I think a veil would get in the way. He will be anointing you with holy chrism on your forehead. Not that I have ever worn a chapel veil.
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If she is wearing a traditional-style veil, her forehead will be wide open 🙂 Veils do not cover the forehead (at least, I have never seen one that does!)
 
Baptism could be a problem, our priest likes to really pour the water over the head. I’ve seen a few candidates get pretty soaked.

You could always wear the veil and take it off when you receive the sacraments.
 
I agree that you should follow the wishes of the priest who is performing your sacraments. As you stated, this is not your home parish and this kind priest allowed you to take part in the RCIA program at his church. Just keep in mind that the second through ??? time you receive Holy Communion you may wear your veil and it will not be “out of place” or disconcerting to others. BTW - Welcome Home! I will pray that your happy day be perfect!😉
 
I think that when you have an entire CCD or school class of kids receiving First Communion or Confirmation, it a little different than when adults take part in the RCIA process and receive all of their sacraments at one time at one service. Let’s face it, most of our young children thought of First Holy Communion and Confirmation (my daughter was in 3rd grade:mad:) as a chance for a wonderful new dress, veil, flowers in their hair, a cake and presents. As an adult, I think I would probably buy a new dress but surely wouldn’t be so worried about the other accessories.:rolleyes:
 
kozlosap said:
I think that when you have an entire CCD or school class of kids receiving First Communion or Confirmation, it a little different than when adults take part in the RCIA process and receive all of their sacraments at one time at one service. Let’s face it, most of our young children thought of First Holy Communion and Confirmation (my daughter was in 3rd grade:mad:) as a chance for a wonderful new dress, veil, flowers in their hair, a cake and presents. As an adult, I think I would probably buy a new dress but surely wouldn’t be so worried about the other accessories.:rolleyes:
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I hope you are not dismissing the OP’s concern by thinking she is “worried about accessories”! For some of us, veiling is a vital part of our faith. It is not about trying to look good or showing off, it is about following Scripture and the traditional practices of the Church!
 
kamaan said:
I hope you are not dismissing the OP’s concern by thinking she is “worried about accessories”! For some of us, veiling is a vital part of our faith. It is not about trying to look good or showing off, it is about following Scripture and the traditional practices of the Church!
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Of course not! I was continuing my previous post. The OP stated that she is having her sacraments in a parish that will not be her home parish and the priest was kind enough to let her join the RCIA program at his parish. The next poster gave a link that showed loads of little girls in their First Communion dresses, veils and flowers gathered around a bishop. I was mainly answering the post with the picture link! I would never “judge” any persons preference as to how they worship or for that matter what they wear to Mass - my point was that I feel that since the priest asked her not to wear the veil that it would be most respectful to follow his wishes. Walk in Peace with the Lord.
 
kozlosap said:
Of course not! I was continuing my previous post. The OP stated that she is having her sacraments in a parish that will not be her home parish and the priest was kind enough to let her join the RCIA program at his parish. The next poster gave a link that showed loads of little girls in their First Communion dresses, veils and flowers gathered around a bishop. I was mainly answering the post with the picture link! I would never “judge” any persons preference as to how they worship or for that matter what they wear to Mass - my point was that I feel that since the priest asked her not to wear the veil that it would be most respectful to follow his wishes. Walk in Peace with the Lord.
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It is just your last sentence that I took the wrong way. I am sensitive about this topic 🙂 Sorry for the misunderstanding!
 
kamaan said:
It is just your last sentence that I took the wrong way. I am sensitive about this topic 🙂 Sorry for the misunderstanding!
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I’m sorry too for sounding way to offhanded! At our (huge) OF parish we have people who come in Dior suits and those who come in jeans - we also have women who wear short veils and those who need a haircut! During communion, some people receive COTT and kneeling and other COTH and standing. I’m happy to be part of a lovely parish where everyone is respected and the traditional Catholics do not feel out of place.😉
 
lizds said:
I’m receiving Baptism, Comfirmation, and First Communion this Saturday. : )

The question I have is; can a women wear a chapel veil when recieving the sacrament of comfirmation? The priest that is comfirming me said I am not allowed to wear a veil during the comfirmation and recommended that I did not wear one at all because it would make me ‘stand out’.

By no means am I trying to talk negative about this priest. He is a very kind man and I’m very thankful he allowed me into his RCIA. (I attend a different parish) I prefer a traditional catholic lifestyle… Chapel veils, kneeling for communion, and the like. I know that this priest prefers things a bit more modern. Is he right in telling me I can not wear my veil?

Is there any canon law, dogma, scripture, or what have you that helps shows that he is correct or incorrect? I would like to wear my veil, but I would hate to question his instructions on not allowing me to wear it if I’m the one in the wrong. Any advice would be helpful.
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The best way to start off your wonderful new life as a Catholic is with a spirit of obedience - so, do as he says. We can debate and assert all kinds of things out here on the Internet, with links to official documents and powerful logic and great reverence, but at home in the parish, the priest is the boss - even when he’s wrong.

Welcome home! 🙂
 
Thank you for all your adivce. I was wishing to disrespect the priest by any means. Like I said he is a wonderful man, very patient. I guess I was just a little bothered by it because he also told me not to receive communion kneeling. He told me kneeling was inappropriate. : / If I couldn’t find any thing that stated he couldn’t deny me the right to wear a veil, I wasn’t going to question him. I would have done just as he instructed. And like Kamaan said, a traditional veil leaves the forehead exposed which is exactly what I wear. It wouldn’t get in the way. : )
 
lizds said:
Thank you for all your adivce. I was wishing to disrespect the priest by any means. Like I said he is a wonderful man, very patient. I guess I was just a little bothered by it because he also told me not to receive communion kneeling. He told me kneeling was inappropriate. : / If I couldn’t find any thing that stated he couldn’t deny me the right to wear a veil, I wasn’t going to question him. I would have done just as he instructed. And like Kamaan said, a traditional veil leaves the forehead exposed which is exactly what I wear. It wouldn’t get in the way. : )
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Have you decided what to do yet? I’ve been thinking and praying about your dilema for the last few hours and I hope it all works out! Is there anyway you could receive the sacraments in a more traditional parish? Sometimes obedience is very hard to deal with (I struggle every minute with it!) and even though we “know” we are right in both spirit and rule, we just have to submit and follow the lead. God Bless You!
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
I’m sure people will come along and tell you that you have the right to do whatever you want.

But I find it interesting that you want your first act as a new Catholic to be disobedience to your priest’s request. Humility is a difficult virtue to cultivate.
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Wow.
Way to welcome a new sister into the church with a snide aside.

Lizds,
welcome home. I wore a veil at my confirmation/first communion and didn’t anyone say a word about it one way or another. In your case, I would just go with what this priest wants. You obviously have respect for him.

I hope that your intro service to the church goes very well. You can always be wearing a veil and kneeing before our Lord in your heart.
 
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