'Coming out of the closet': An act of courage?

[altms]

Occasionally a high profile person comes out of the proverbial closet and says that he’s gay. The secular media and other famous people then congratulate the person and usually laud him for his courage, others, call him a hero and award him all sorts of accolades.

Do you guys also agree that such people deserve hero status?

Personally I’m not sure what to think. Having SSA is definitely a heavy cross to bear, and if someone discloses that to get help, then fine. But, when some of these people come out through the front, cover of magazines, paid interviews, organized press conferences, YouTube videos and all that, and then gain endorsments at the back of that announcement, and promotes same-sexual behaviour, I can only sigh and shake my head.

What do you guys think?

 

[Hobbes42]

I think there is a difference to be noted here. There is a difference between someone shouldering the cross of SSA and someone openly embracing a homosexual lifestyle.

That being said, it is worrying the amount of media attention given to whoever ‘comes out’ and proclaims their lifestyle…

 

[PietroPaolo]

On one level it is never courageous to give into the temptation to sin, which is what “coming out” amounts to. So, viewed through that lens, I’d say no. But, we should admit, it did take ‘courage’ to “come out” years ago when one was likely to lose their job and be ridiculed or even assaulted for doing so. In such a case we are certainly speaking of a different kind of courage than the courage to fight sin, but courage nonetheless.

Today, however, (as you point out) the predictable outcome of “coming out” is being called a hero. In such a case, no it doesn’t take much courage. A great example is that NBA player who “came out” last year. Here was a guy with no career, that no one had ever heard of, who suddenly (simply for announcing his sexual predilections) was lauded, became a minor celebrity, and even received a call from the president! Does it take courage to do something for which you will only (likely) receive praise? Not really.

Now for someone who might not be famous and might be living or working in a environment where more negative reactions are likely than positive, then yes it would take courage, depending upon how likely such negative reactions are and how likely those reactions could turn into damaging actions (losing your job, etc.)

Long answer, short - sometimes (depending on the situation).

 

[manualman]

In decades past, it unquestionably took guts, regardless of what we think about the morality of gay sexual relations. Society despised gay people and weren’t shy about telling them. Heck, I’m straight as can be, but was viewed with open suspicion and derision growing up due to being slight of build, non-athletic and participating in music and theater! I can only imagine what it was like for people who really were gay in that time period.

Today is a bit different. Society mostly views it as hip. Not so much courage required. What really requires courage today is to acknowledge having a same sex attraction openly and also publicly express your commitment to Christian principles of chastity. THOSE people need guts. Haters on every side and precious few friends. God bless 'em!

 

[Joe_5859]

It really depends upon the person’s situation. If they are a celebrity whose entire social circle consists of those who support the gay lifestyle, then “coming out” would involve very little risk. If the person is not a celebrity but lives in an area where homosexuality is not looked upon favorably and/or their family would disown them, then that would be a different story.

At present, though, it would take far more courage for a celebrity to “come out” as being opposed to homosexual activity. Just look at what happened to the Duck Dynasty guy.

 

[Kamaduck]

It really depends upon the person’s situation. If they are a celebrity whose entire social circle consists of those who support the gay lifestyle, then “coming out” would involve very little risk. If the person is not a celebrity but lives in an area where homosexuality is not looked upon favorably and/or their family would disown them, then that would be a different story.

At present, though, it would take far more courage for a celebrity to “come out” as being opposed to homosexual activity. Just look at what happened to the Duck Dynasty guy.

But nothing really happened to him. There was a media storm about it that generated publicity, and then he got to keep his show. In the end, he didn’t lose anything, and probably gained quite a few viewers.

I agree with the first part of your statement, though. Most of the statements celebrities make aren’t going to require a ton of courage, since they don’t stand to lose things they need. On the other hand, for someone who has less support, I do think that taking any kind of unpopular stand requires an element of courage. So it depends on the person’s situation, but yes, I’d say coming out can be courageous.

Whether it’s good is another deal. But I would hope that people wouldn’t feel the need to hide SSA from us because they fear being rejected or judged.

 

[Aelred_Minor]

In the vast majority of cases, a person should not be publicly discussing the details of their sexual feelings, whatever those may be.

 

[Joe_5859]

But nothing really happened to him. There was a media storm about it that generated publicity, and then he got to keep his show. In the end, he didn’t lose anything, and probably gained quite a few viewers.

I agree with the first part of your statement, though. Most of the statements celebrities make aren’t going to require a ton of courage, since they don’t stand to lose things they need. On the other hand, for someone who has less support, I do think that taking any kind of unpopular stand requires an element of courage. So it depends on the person’s situation, but yes, I’d say coming out can be courageous.

Whether it’s good is another deal. But I would hope that people wouldn’t feel the need to hide SSA from us because they fear being rejected or judged.

I guess it depends how thin-skinned you are. If you want everyone to like you and don’t want people to say mean things about you, then it would be a difficult thing to do.

 

[livingwordunity]

At present, though, it would take far more courage for a celebrity to “come out” as being opposed to homosexual activity. Just look at what happened to the Duck Dynasty guy.

In Hollywood, the Christian conservatives are the ones who are in the closet since they get fired and publicly ostracized for letting their conservative views be known. It’s just like Jesus said it would be when he said, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” - Matthew 5:10-11

 

[pensmama87]

In the vast majority of cases, a person should not be publicly discussing the details of their sexual feelings, whatever those may be.

I would agree - it’s certainly not the kind of thing that needs to be dwelled upon (as it seems to be with all matters sexual in our society today), but I do think that there can be value in a high-profile person saying that they struggle with this or that. I don’t think our current media environment does that, since it glorifies sin, but if a person “comes out” as a recovering addict, that could be a very good thing for many people. Unfortunately, we don’t view sexual deviancy as deviant anymore, instead as something to be celebrated. I think in many cases it’s a publicity stunt. You may get hate mail from a few wackos, but by and large, if you “come out” to the mainstream media you don’t have to worry about a thing.

But still, if it were a different media environment, I would be encouraged by someone who could say they struggled with sins similar to mine and was able to overcome them. After all, there were some great saints who did just that.

 

[livingwordunity]

This whole trend of people “coming out” in public with their sexuality is a product of an oversexed culture.

 

[Kamaduck]

I guess it depends how thin-skinned you are. If you want everyone to like you and don’t want people to say mean things about you, then it would be a difficult thing to do.

Yeah, but I kind of figured that people who are thin-skinned aren’t cut out to be celebrities in the first place.

I certainly wouldn’t want to be one.

Someone who is dependent on others, though, particularly if those others are very conservative (or even badly prejudiced), stands to lose a great deal of stability and help if they let others know about their struggles. So that could take some bravery.

I would agree - it’s certainly not the kind of thing that needs to be dwelled upon (as it seems to be with all matters sexual in our society today), but I do think that there can be value in a high-profile person saying that they struggle with this or that. I don’t think our current media environment does that, since it glorifies sin, but if a person “comes out” as a recovering addict, that could be a very good thing for many people. Unfortunately, we don’t view sexual deviancy as deviant anymore, instead as something to be celebrated. I think in many cases it’s a publicity stunt. You may get hate mail from a few wackos, but by and large, if you “come out” to the mainstream media you don’t have to worry about a thing.

But still, if it were a different media environment, I would be encouraged by someone who could say they struggled with sins similar to mine and was able to overcome them. After all, there were some great saints who did just that.

I agree with this. The whole “coming out” thing may take some courage, but it’s not the celebrities that stand to lose much and they often do things to generate publicity (since that’s kind of in the job description). But knowing that someone has the same struggles and does try to follow God in spite of them can be a very positive thing for a lot of people. I’d say that goes for any sin or temptation- I’d hope that among other Catholics would be a safe place to discuss our various struggles and temptations, not a place where we shun people whose temptations are unlike our own.

 

[EasterJoy]

It depends on how the person comes out. If someone comes out and admits SSA but preaches continence and purity, that’s going to be someone who has a lot of courage. If the person comes out and says they have an immoral sex life, it surely isn’t easy, it may be the best they can do (because for some it will be humbling and a liability to their public career), but it is not praiseworthy to advocate in favor of sin, even if you mean well. Still, only the act can be judged. God will judge the person, and might find they did well with the temptations they had and the grace they had. We can’t know that.

 

[MJJean]

For athletes and others who could lose their jobs and/or be badly treated by their employers and/or peers to come out is an act of courage.

There are youngsters that have serious struggles with their sexuality and who fall into deep depressions and have suicidal thoughts or even commit suicide because they fear they will never be able to follow their dreams and be accepted simply because they are homosexual. Those youngsters need to know that they are not alone and that they can make something of their lives despite being gay.

As to the morality of it, we all know that Catholics believe God has called homosexuals to chastity. Other faiths or those of no faith believe differently. Each homosexual has to decide for themselves what they believe is morally right and choose to live their lives as they see fit. The point is that they will live their lives and not simply give up because they believe no one else like them have ever managed to be successful.

 

[BunnyLover]

I think it does always take courage. Just to admit to yourself that you are gay is a difficult, heart wrenching process. Bisexual or homosexual teens have the highest rates of suicide, substance abuse, and depression among their peers. The increased risk is because the social pressure of staying straight when they cannot is so great, the sudden loss of what they assumed their lives would look like, and because there are still people filled with hate in their communities. These are people who have undergone a frightening ordeal and need to find a way to be okay with themselves afterword. It is definitely not easy to accept being homosexual, even if you get praised for it after the fact. Even in areas where people are openly gay and happy with it, it is still socially the “other” way and still isn’t their choice. This applies to anyone within the LBGTQ. It’s hard to be what is considered “different”. This can apply even to someone who is asexual, demi-sexual, or a number of other expressions of sexuality that do not fit in exactly with our culture.

I don’t think that every gay person needs to make a public declaration, but they do need to be honest, they need to be themselves and love themselves, and they do deserve to feel safe. Right now, there are still many locations where they do not. They need to be brave to survive there. Even if the only danger is being a social outcast, who in the world wants to be a social outcast? We are social beings and require positive relationships and contact.

I know that it seems wrong they should be proud and become heroes. Pride is always a sin. But if they weren’t becoming heroes, they would be victims. Exaggerating and hero-izing is how you get social change. Anyone part of a hated group, whether the group is mentally ill, physically handicapped, black, female or part of an unpopular religion has a right to do whatever they can to make society accept their kind and to protect the safety and dignity of those people. If finding positive role models with the same criteria helps one teenager face another day at school without killing himself, then I’m all for it. And yeah, to admit something so personal so publicly for that cause is at least a little brave.

 

[Zachary]

Every time you turn around, there’s a hero-piece about the newest coming-out story.

In theory (is the “born that way” arguement is to be assumed*) it should be treated no differently that if someone were to let the world know he prefers brunets. Afterall, it’s just a preference, right?

The media is largely in the pro-gay camp and spends more energy on sanctifying a sexual preference than on reporting stories that matter. When an NBA star came out (apparently the first (gasp) player to do so) it was HEADLINE news on sports stations even. Well, this player was not exactly a notable player for any other reason. Was it courageous to come out? Some say “yes” because, especially in pro-sports, it’s just not OK. But I say “No”. It’s easy at least in the sense that the media will parade you around like a hero and say nothing but the most glistening remarks about how great you are, about how heroic it is for you to finally be free.

It’s propaganada, not heroics. It was heroic of Justin Beiber to say he was pro-life (too bad he was bullied/advised not to repeat such things) because it was 1) right and 2) counter pop-culture. I just wish he’d have stuck with it, joined Lila Rose instead of shutting up about it.

 

[Zachary]

Sorry for my first post. I see the NBA player reference was already made

It really depends upon the person’s situation. If they are a celebrity whose entire social circle consists of those who support the gay lifestyle, then “coming out” would involve very little risk. If the person is not a celebrity but lives in an area where homosexuality is not looked upon favorably and/or their family would disown them, then that would be a different story.

At present, though, it would take far more courage for a celebrity to “come out” as being opposed to homosexual activity. Just look at what happened to the Duck Dynasty guy.

This is what I really meant. Guess I’m just a little tired of the reports that this one or that one is gay…who really cares? What about GMO and illegal abortion practices? What about the flopping Obamacare program or the push to legalize more sex-trades? What about the increasing number of pro-life marchers year-over-year at march for life? MSM seem to default to 2 kinds of reporting - stories that make their friends look like heros and those that make they enemies look like devils.

 

[Zachary]

I think it does always take courage. Just to admit to yourself that you are gay is a difficult, heart wrenching process. Bisexual or homosexual teens have the highest rates of suicide, substance abuse, and depression among their peers. The increased risk is because the social pressure of staying straight when they cannot is so great, the sudden loss of what they assumed their lives would look like, and because there are still people filled with hate in their communities. These are people who have undergone a frightening ordeal and need to find a way to be okay with themselves afterword. It is definitely not easy to accept being homosexual, even if you get praised for it after the fact. Even in areas where people are openly gay and happy with it, it is still socially the “other” way and still isn’t their choice. This applies to anyone within the LBGTQ. It’s hard to be what is considered “different”. This can apply even to someone who is asexual, demi-sexual, or a number of other expressions of sexuality that do not fit in exactly with our culture.

I don’t think that every gay person needs to make a public declaration, but they do need to be honest, they need to be themselves and love themselves, and they do deserve to feel safe. Right now, there are still many locations where they do not. They need to be brave to survive there. Even if the only danger is being a social outcast, who in the world wants to be a social outcast? We are social beings and require positive relationships and contact.

I know that it seems wrong they should be proud and become heroes. Pride is always a sin. But if they weren’t becoming heroes, they would be victims. Exaggerating and hero-izing is how you get social change. Anyone part of a hated group, whether the group is mentally ill, physically handicapped, black, female or part of an unpopular religion has a right to do whatever they can to make society accept their kind and to protect the safety and dignity of those people. If finding positive role models with the same criteria helps one teenager face another day at school without killing himself, then I’m all for it. And yeah, to admit something so personal so publicly for that cause is at least a little brave.

Cant agree at all…

In fact, i’d say the coming out part is easy. For a nobody kid in high school who caries this secret, TV and mass media tells you that coming out is great. And I dont think that’s fair. I think they are misleading the nobody kids into believing that once you announce your intentions, you’ll be free.

What would be courageous would be for a gay person to come out and say “i was wrong, this life is not what it was made to seem” because when they do, they get labelled, slaughtered and riduculed…etc.

anyway, courage is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[BunnyLover]

It was heroic of Justin Beiber to say he was pro-life (too bad he was bullied/advised not to repeat such things

It was brave of him, but man he should have totally been briefed on how NOT to talk about it. I am pro-life too, but as a woman, he seriously came off as unintelligent and insensitive. The second he was challenged and asked to think about the issue he did a 180. These are not pro-life people we want the public to know about because it justifies their view that all pro-life people are anti-woman dummies. We need someone smart and someone who is sensitive to publicly announce they are pro-life and incidentally, not a monster.

But that is something that is happening for LGBTQA now. But how much would it help our situation and how haters feel about us if we did get that same attention for a while?

I still think it’s always brave in this culture and time to be honest with yourself (the first “coming out”). You can’t ignore the extra risks this population faces just because you resent celebrities and the media. Celebrities and the media are in a different world than the day to day life of the average gay teenager. Maybe soon, it won’t take as much courage to do it. But that isn’t the truth now.

 

[R_C]

It is good to acknowledge something rather than denying it. Sad, however, that often this is not a mere acknowledgment of a situation, but a declaration of unconditional acceptance and endorsement of a particular way of life, of a particular morality, of a particular view of life and of sexuality.