Commenting on gay friends' Facebook

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So I have some friends who are gay, and not celibate (I’m guessing, but based on some comments they’ve made, it’s a pretty good guess). Is it a scandal for me to comment in a positive manor on their relationships? For example, if I see a picture of them together, can I say they’re a cute couple? Or does that sound like I’m endorsing sin? Can I “like” a photo or status that’s in the same vein? Obviously I would not comment positively on anything explicit, and my friends are in long term monogamous relationships, are tasteful and discreet, so they wouldn’t be posting stuff like that anyway.

One of them is a former Catholic, now an atheist.

A second question: How can I be a light when they are hostile to faith?
 
I neither ‘like’ nor comment on such status or pictures.

It would be dishonest for me to say that I ‘like’ seeing my friend with his boyfriend. They would not be ‘cute couple’ in the eyes of God, and it behoves me to conform my likes to His.
 
You can be a light through actions.

Brendan is correct. You are commenting on something explicit when you provide positive feedback on the relationship.
 
constantconvert said:
So I have some friends who are gay, and not celibate (I’m guessing, but based on some comments they’ve made, it’s a pretty good guess). Is it a scandal for me to comment in a positive manor on their relationships? For example, if I see a picture of them together, can I say they’re a cute couple? Or does that sound like I’m endorsing sin? Can I “like” a photo or status that’s in the same vein? Obviously I would not comment positively on anything explicit, and my friends are in long term monogamous relationships, are tasteful and discreet, so they wouldn’t be posting stuff like that anyway.

One of them is a former Catholic, now an atheist.

A second question: How can I be a light when they are hostile to faith?
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When you like or comment, your action is announced to **all **of your FB friends, not just the ones to whom you are addressing. That would most certainly be giving scandal since it would give the impression to all of your FB friends that you are endorsing an immoral relationship.

As for your second question, if you are asking about FB, just post and comment on posts that are positive reflections of your faith. You don’t have to engage your friends directly on matters of faith. They will see what you post and like and it may sink in.
 
I think it depends. If you would like the picture for two friends who were not a couple, then I think it would be OK to like it. Two men or two women often pose in pictures together if they are good friends. But if the picture presents itself as a romantic picture, I guess I would agree with the advice above. I wouldn’t say that liking such a picture is sinful, but it might not be sending the right message.
 
***Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:
  • by participating directly and voluntarily in them;
  • by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
  • by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
  • by protecting evil-doers.
–Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1868***

This would be what you want to avoid, and I think the “cute couple” thing skirts too close to the line. I would steer clear. Perhaps you could make a friendly gesture to each individual in another way. Share a clean cartoon or just wish them a good day, something like that. 🙂
 
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
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The problem is that the relationship is not worthy of respect because it is a clear sin. Also, there is a difference between respecting someone and respecting that person’s sinful decisions. Posting “cute couple” or whatever indicates the latter, which is not what we should be doing.
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
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It very well could be a scandal. Unless someone knows for fact that you do not approve of SSA, “liking” a photo of a SSA couple would show “approval”, not just to your friends list, but even to the lists of your friends of your friends of your friends, if they also “like” the same comment, photo, etc. Any time any one “likes” something on Facebook and it shows up on my page, I automatically assume they are approving of that item. Why else would they hit the “like” button? They are giving support to that posting. That’s why people should give a little more thought to who they friend and what they “like” and what they comment on when on Facebook. It shouldn’t be “lets friend every request and comment on every post”.
 
I would have to agree with some on this tread that “it depends”. I think that “cute couple” is stepping over the line, just a bit. If the photo is chase, like the two person just standing next to each other, I would say something around the lines like “That is a nice photo”

Most of my friends with SSA are chase but some are not, and those who are not I think about them and Pray the Rosary for them everyday, since most are not Catholic. As the Prayer goes “I pray for the conversion of Sinners”
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
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Call me old-fashioned, but I would try to avoid this too or keep it very minimal and neutral and about the aesthetic quality of the photo or something. Silence is preferred - it doesn’t have to be cold shoulder, just that people who know me know my beliefs and if I can’t say something nice and feel like I haven’t condoned sin, I should not say anything directly complimentary about the fact of that marriage.

Doesn’t mean I can’t be civil and pray that someday the couple’s situation could be resolved in proper fashion (or that the members of a gay couple will return to chastity). I can sometimes in certain contexts say “I wish you all the best,” knowing that what I mean is the best for each one’s eternal salvation . . .😉
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
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I don’t think you understand the sin of scandal. Scandal is not about how the couple feels about your actions - it’s about what other people think about your actions. The sin is called **giving **scandal. It occurs when you do something regarding a sin that gives other people the impression that you approve of or tolerate the sin.

You can certainly respect the individuals, although not their relationship, without making public comments that make it appear that you view their relationship in a positive light.
 
PatriceA said:
It very well could be a scandal. Unless someone knows for fact that you do not approve of SSA, “liking” a photo of a SSA couple would show “approval”, not just to your friends list, but even to the lists of your friends of your friends of your friends, if they also “like” the same comment, photo, etc. Any time any one “likes” something on Facebook and it shows up on my page, I automatically assume they are approving of that item. Why else would they hit the “like” button? They are giving support to that posting. That’s why people should give a little more thought to who they friend and what they “like” and what they comment on when on Facebook. It shouldn’t be “lets friend every request and comment on every post”.
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I would agree but I think I have learned from my past mistakes not be blunt about my opinions, especially when it comes to sexual matters. As I said before, I don’t think there is nothing wrong with committing on a chase photograph of the couple, something of the lines as “That is a nice photo.”
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
Click to expand...
Those are two different issues. The Catholics who marry civilly, while (I believe) are married invalidly, are still rightly ordered. They could reconcile their marriage with the Church. A gay couple can never be validly married in the Church, and their disordered relationship should not be encouraged. You don’t have to be outwardly criticizing of their relationship, but showing approval of it in any way is participating in their sin.

You can respect their dignity as people without becoming a passive participant in their sin by approving of their relationship. I have a very large number of gay friends from my past prior to joining the Church, and for most of them, I am still friends with them and I exchange pleasantries with their partners, but I never express approval and they don’t expect it of me. Some of my closest gay friends I am very open to about how I think homosexual behavior is damaging to their souls, mostly due to their inquiring as to why I no longer date women myself. They know I won’t force them to change, but they also know they’ll never get me to approve of their relationship because they are harming themselves.

Long story short, liking something on FB is publicly approving of it. If it’s a romantic picture in any way, it should not be liked. If it’s not romantic (as ProdigalSon was saying), I would consider the most prudent line of action. You can like a picture of them hanging out somewhere and you can comment on things other than their relationship as partners. “Cute couple!,” though, also comes across as approving. Consider whether you would post “cute alcoholic!” on a picture of your drunk friend at a party. Both are harmful to the soul, while one may be more outwardly apparent than the other.
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship. You probably know a lot of Catholics who gave up on the faith and married civilly. Would you like and comment on their wedding photos?
Click to expand...
No, of course not. But that’s me. I would only comment if I wholeheartedly liked what I saw.

And no, it would (or certainly could) give scandal. The implication is a Catholic sees a homosexual relationship as “cute” when it is anything but cute.

How would anyone think “this person disapproves, but respects them as people?” from a comment about a couple’s cuteness?

Unless you said “cute couple, but I can’t condone your immoral relationship,” there is no way that would be anyone’s take away, and that would be rude and unnecessary.

Simply avoid commenting.

I myself rarely use Facebook, but unfriended anyone who I don’t really care for in terms of lifestyle or politics. I’d simply rather not have them sitting in my friends list.
 
constantconvert said:
So I have some friends who are gay, and not celibate (I’m guessing, but based on some comments they’ve made, it’s a pretty good guess). Is it a scandal for me to comment in a positive manor on their relationships? For example, if I see a picture of them together, can I say they’re a cute couple? Or does that sound like I’m endorsing sin? Can I “like” a photo or status that’s in the same vein? Obviously I would not comment positively on anything explicit, and my friends are in long term monogamous relationships, are tasteful and discreet, so they wouldn’t be posting stuff like that anyway.

One of them is a former Catholic, now an atheist.

A second question: How can I be a light when they are hostile to faith?
Click to expand...
Your initial instincts are correct. If you are to comment on a picture you post you are endorsing their lifestyle. If you like a comment they post you are endorsing their lifestyle. It is important to exercise caution for a positive comment from you would be seen as an endorsement and something that they would want to share with other people. :signofcross:
 
VanSensei said:
It would not be a scandal. If anything, it would be a good thing because it shows you, while you don’t necessarily approve, respect them as people and their relationship.
Click to expand...
I thought it might give the impression that I approve.
 
PatriceA said:
It very well could be a scandal. Unless someone knows for fact that you do not approve of SSA, “liking” a photo of a SSA couple would show “approval”, not just to your friends list, but even to the lists of your friends of your friends of your friends, if they also “like” the same comment, photo, etc. Any time any one “likes” something on Facebook and it shows up on my page, I automatically assume they are approving of that item. Why else would they hit the “like” button? They are giving support to that posting. That’s why people should give a little more thought to who they friend and what they “like” and what they comment on when on Facebook. It shouldn’t be “lets friend every request and comment on every post”.
Click to expand...
Yes, I usually remain silent about SSA, so it probably would give the impression that I approve.
 
Don’t they post any pictures that you can comment on something other than their “cuteness”? Couldn’t you say, “Looks like fun!” or “Hope to see you soon!”? I would avoid comments that specifically condone or express approval of their relationship and comment instead on the substace of the photos. I have lots of male relations and friends on my facebook page and I don’t think I would write “cute couple” to any of them anyway. Isn’t that something you’d tell a girl anyway?
 
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