Committing Sins every 10 Seconds

[LilyM]

You speak nonsense woman,

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Well, after painstakingly examining my conscience, and if I had to put it to the test in a court of law, I’d say a handful of times in the past year, no more than that … and I don’t think any of 'em would be mortally sinful either.

So to be scrupulously accurate, it is entirely possible, with God’s help, to learn self-control in regard to sexual matters to the extent that you commit no mortal sins and few venial sins.

There, does that sound like nonsense? I’d be happy to come over to punch your lights out if you dare to assert otherwise.

 

[teachccd]

There, does that sound like nonsense? I’d be happy to come over to punch your lights out if you dare to assert otherwise.

 

[Zarathustra89]

Well, after painstakingly examining my conscience, and if I had to put it to the test in a court of law, I’d say a handful of times in the past year, no more than that … and I don’t think any of 'em would be mortally sinful either.

So to be scrupulously accurate, it is entirely possible, with God’s help, to learn self-control in regard to sexual matters to the extent that you commit no mortal sins and few venial sins.

There, does that sound like nonsense? I’d be happy to come over to punch your lights out if you dare to assert otherwise.

Again that is nonsense one tries to ask God for help yet I get nowhere. Stop thinking you’re so wise.

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

 

[JRKH]

Again that is nonsense one tries to ask God for help yet I get nowhere. Stop thinking you’re so wise.

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

This whole thing is getting out of control.
I am asking both you and LilyM to let it drop.

None of this bickering between the two of you is helpful to the Origional Poster.

Zarathustra,
You have given up on yourself and consider yourself lost. I pray God to be merciful to you.
I only ask that you stop posting your negative poison on this thread and trying to destroy another soul.

Peace
James

 

[puzzleannie]

After all you women are so superior!!!

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

it has nothing to do with being a woman, it has to do with maturity, we do pass through these stages. not everyone that notices another person and finds them attractive is immediately consumed with lust, either, so try not to make your observations global pronouncements about “everybody”. there is a rich Christian spiritual tradition based on prayer, fasting, frequent recourse to the sacraments, penance and ordinary good works that is the classic remedy for these afflictions. If you are sincere in combatting these temptations, avail yourself of the writings of the saints, and to your confessor’s advice. If not, continue to speak from your mountaintop and continue confusing personal experience with absolute truth.

 

[whiteknite]

Without the idea of sexual relations, The human race would never have taken off…
There are people in remote jungles who have never heard of God as we know him, Does than mean they are so sinfull because they procreate without marriage??
Does that mean they go to Hell because they havent repented there sins??

 

[Flopfoot]

For a sin to be mortal (hence causing one to end up in hell if unrepented) it needs to meet three conditions… grave matter, full knowledge and full consent. So for people in those remote jungles it would still be grave matter but it wouldn’t likely be with full knowledge since as you say they’ve never heard of God / the Church / these rules. Hence it wouldn’t necessarily be mortal for them.

(Note this doesn’t allow you to get off everything just for not knowing about God… I hear that some laws are implicit in the human conscience and instinct, like murder, so it’d still be mortal even for someone who’s never heard of God… don’t quote me on this though… anyway I think I’m a bit off topic now)

 

[JRKH]

Without the idea of sexual relations, The human race would never have taken off…
There are people in remote jungles who have never heard of God as we know him, Does than mean they are so sinfull because they procreate without marriage??
Does that mean they go to Hell because they havent repented there sins??

As Flopfoot mentioned, no it does not mean that they automatically go to hell. However we must remember not to compare apples to oranges.
The OP is attending a Catholic, all boys School. His question(s) relate to this circumstance and not a “remote jungle”.

No one discounts the necessity, or desirability of sexual relations for procreation. Nor, for that matter, for the loving pleasure of two committed married people. What is in question by the OP is the idea that any kind of sex with any attractive female is somehow natural and OK. This is decidedly not the case for an individual who is being raised and taught within the Catholic Church.

Peace
James

 

[GraceDK]

It is natural for humans to desire the opposite sex. It is our instinct to be attracted to them. Attraction leads to sexual desires (it cannot be ceased). Constantly in our lives, we see the opposite sex and desire to make love to them; even in all types of sexual acts - anal sex, oral sex etc. We cannot stop these hormonal intuitions. It is part of us and we have been created that way. Of course, not all of us desire sexual acts which are regarded ‘unatural’ such as ‘anal sex’ and ‘oral sex’. But the mere fact of wanting to ‘screw someone’ plays a part in our lives CONSTANTLY - especially in youths and earlier stages of life.

So therefore, why is the desire to have sex with someone you are not married to a sin?

ISN’T IT NATURAL TO THE HUMAN BODY???!!

Dear friend.
I think what you need to work on right now is a personal relationship with Jesus. I recommend the New Testament.
I would also strongly recommend you to visit this page: www.pureloveclub.net
Its made by a person, young man, who also used to indulge in sexual thoughts but who became the man that every woman really longs for: a heroic, pure man with character, dignity and strength even to say no to peer pressure… see through the fake and empty reality that satan wants to give you in return for your own worth as a man.

Whenever you start thinking about a girl in the ways you so vividly described think about how you would feel if someone was to indulge in these things with your future wife today.
Are you hoping that your bride who will one day kiss your children good night is giving some guy oral sex right now?
You gotta meditate on what it means to be a real man.
Every time you use women in reality or in your mind as objects for your own sexual gratification you say to God: "I know you are the FATHER of this young woman and You love her and died for her on the Cross, but to me she is just a piece of trash to be used and thrown away.

Male strength and sexual drive can be very beautiful… It can also, if you allow it to, make you into a man that no good woman will ever want to marry or whose past she will cry about once she meets you. Think about it. The world is full of lies and satan laughs at you every time you sin in your mind.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Deep inside we all just want to be loved… with a pure and real love.

www.pureloveclub.net

 

[CentralFLJames]

It sounds like the author of the OP is hanging out too much talking about “sex” with “the boys”.

One does not naturally know such concepts as “doggy style” and oral sex until one is told these things or sees photos in adult magazines. Sin cascades upon sin - and once innocence is lost one has to use discipline (largely avoidance) and prayer to control it.

For me it was not even until late in junior high that I even understood why I would get aroused when a young woman walked in with short shorts, smiled and started flirting in school and showing strong interest. All I recollect is how embarrassing it was to have to sit in my chair uncomfortably waiting to “get back to normal” from a state of arousal when the class dismissal bell rang for the next class period. I did not understand what that all meant and was annoyed by these apparently random and highly conscpicuous and embarrassing reactions. The anxiety of thinking of missing the next class helped to resolve the problem though.

I never made the connection between female attraction and male arousal until a buddy told me that’s how babies were made. I was clueless. I will never forget my reaction - “no way - you are lying! yuk - I am never marrying!”.

It was only after some of us guys found an adult magazine (probably from one of the older boys or the janitor) rolled up and hidden in some bushes at school that we learned anything explicit. That was very disturbing to me too to see that women could “be like that” and let men do degrading things like oral sex and have photos taken of them doing it so others could see. For money?! It was only after losing my innocence in seeing those photos that I ever had any fantasies or illicit thoughts of any kind. So I reject the notion that explicit thoughts of sex are natural if one has not had it before or not conditioned themselves by talking about it with others or reading about it. No, these are all learned.

As an adult I have to laugh now at my original innocent revulsion to the idea of sex. But the physical reaction while being natural and instinctive and good is not a thing we men can often control. When put into an involuntary encounter if a blatant interest is manifest we must resist the thoughts right away. We can however avoid most of these temptations by simply not putting ourselves in a cooperative state of mind or by avoiding the places and patterns of behavior and discussion that have a high likelihood of getting us into trouble. I include here an idle mind that is bored and self-centered on selfish pleasure as well. We must control our minds by stimulating them with positive things and not entertain the vivid visualization of thoughts. Basically, at the root of masturbation is found selfishness and disrespect and low self esteem for self or addiction to one’s own hormones.

Those that think of sex every 10 seconds or even daily have too much time on their hands, are depraved or immersed too deeply into an unhealthy imaginary mindset. Seriously, if you are having these kinds of fantasies you need to get some new friends, get some hobbies or other interests and pray a lot about it.

I can attest personally that daily prayer can and does remove all urges. As a man who loves women very much and had frequent and robust intimacy in the context of a committed marital relationship I can say its not easy being single (widowed) again since the habits are all there. I think its safe to say that there are even physical addictions too to those who have had regular sex since the hormones released in sex do produce a relaxing euphoria and a “high”.

So I can relate to the female poster who mentioned that prayer can make it possible for anyone coming out of a state of sexual routine to be 100% chaste or quite nearly so for sustained periods of time. The prayer works on 2 levels - its a mental discipline as well as a real spiritual effect that strengthens the mind over the body urges.

Bottom line - change your habits, get some hobbies and pray.

James

 

[GraceDK]

Great post James

From a woman perspective I can say the same goes for us.
When we are not experienced in sexual activity of any kind its highly unlikely that we suddenly go and do crazy things, have crazy thoughts and fantasies or even know of the existense of distorted sex positions etc.

When I fell in love at 25 I felt the universe exploded when I first time held the hand of the man I was in love with. There was nothing sexual in the gesture but it was so EXCITING.

As for distorted sexual activities… yeah I heard about those in school… and would have never come up with them myself… the girl who taught me perverted songs when I just a giggling prepuperty child was the only girl in my class who had two older brothers… Go figure.
I have certainly never had the desire to give a man oral sex Nothing natural about that… its rather repulsive and degrading really.

 

[PePPaR]

Thanks for all the recent replies.

So I reject the notion that explicit thoughts of sex are natural if one has not had it before or not conditioned themselves by talking about it with others or reading about it. No, these are all learned.

But once one learns about sex in its natural form - it undoubtedly becomes a natural instinct for one to want to have sex with another.

Seriously, if you are having these kinds of fantasies you need to get some new friends, get some hobbies or other interests and pray a lot about it.

As I might have mentioned previously somewhere. I’ve only recently been looking further into my faith and questioning things. Previously I rejected religion and I didn’t want it to have a part in my life. Somehow I got interested a couple months back. And since then I’ve been doing extensive readings about my faith. I feel as if I need to find something in my life and that my faith can help me attain this.

The environment I live in, and the friends I have, are not religious at all. I mean, how many 17 year olds follow the ethics of Catholicism? - Not many; at least around me. I can’t just go and get some new friends - and honestly I don’t want to. My friends are my friends and they will remain my friends despite their views on life. The majority of a youths mind revolves around sex, and so does mine. It will take a lot of dedication for me to change my ways, and it will have to come gradually. And it’s not like I don’t have hobbies. Currently most of my time is spent studying for school, going to the gym, playing games and whatever. I do occupy my self but I do crave my sexual desires. And no I ain’t sex obssessed.

But hey, things take time. I don’t know what will happen with me. I’m still asking fairly basic questions around here. I’m glad I’ve found a forum that is inviting and welcomes new people and endevours to answer their questions. I can’t really talk about such things with people I know in real life. So therefore I turned to the internet. And I believe its the best thing for me at the moment.

 

[Mystic_of_God]

It is natural for humans to desire the opposite sex. It is our instinct to be attracted to them. Attraction leads to sexual desires (it cannot be ceased). Constantly in our lives, we see the opposite sex and desire to make love to them; even in all types of sexual acts - anal sex, oral sex etc. We cannot stop these hormonal intuitions. It is part of us and we have been created that way. Of course, not all of us desire sexual acts which are regarded ‘unatural’ such as ‘anal sex’ and ‘oral sex’. But the mere fact of wanting to ‘screw someone’ plays a part in our lives CONSTANTLY - especially in youths and earlier stages of life.

So therefore, why is the desire to have sex with someone you are not married to a sin?

ISN’T IT NATURAL TO THE HUMAN BODY???!!

No. Because when you lust after a woman, you are using her as an instrument of your own pleasure.

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for all the recent replies.

But once one learns about sex in its natural form - it undoubtedly becomes a natural instinct for one to want to have sex with another.

“Natural instincts” are what we are charged with controlling.
Also I might add that one of the things you mentioned in your OP is emphatically NOT a natural instinct, but rather an aborition. biblically it is refered to as sodomy based on the city of Sodom and you know what happened to Sodom.

As I might have mentioned previously somewhere. I’ve only recently been looking further into my faith and questioning things. Previously I rejected religion and I didn’t want it to have a part in my life. Somehow I got interested a couple months back. And since then I’ve been doing extensive readings about my faith. I feel as if I need to find something in my life and that my faith can help me attain this.

Praise be to God. Continue! Continue! Continue! to read. And please come here as often as you need. In addition, I’m sure there are those here who might be willing to help you via PM. I know I would. Anyone else?

The environment I live in, and the friends I have, are not religious at all. I mean, how many 17 year olds follow the ethics of Catholicism? - Not many; at least around me. I can’t just go and get some new friends - and honestly I don’t want to. My friends are my friends and they will remain my friends despite their views on life.

This is indeed difficult. But I truly believe that God is calling you to a Holier life. Perhaps it is given to you to be a light to your friends. You must be strong in your faith. Willing to suffer under the “Peer Pressure” and stand firm. As you do you will, I’m sure, find others who feel similarly to yourself. Then you will be able to strengthen each other.

The majority of a youths mind revolves around sex, and so does mine. It will take a lot of dedication for me to change my ways, and it will have to come gradually. And it’s not like I don’t have hobbies. Currently most of my time is spent studying for school, going to the gym, playing games and whatever. I do occupy my self but I do crave my sexual desires. And no I ain’t sex obssessed.

You’re 17 and there is so much going on in your life right now. It is so easy to make a mistake that could effect the rest of your life. I know this from my own personal experience. I would share some with you privately if you would like.
You are fortunate that God is calling you to understand your faith better now. Take full advantage of it.

But hey, things take time. I don’t know what will happen with me. I’m still asking fairly basic questions around here. I’m glad I’ve found a forum that is inviting and welcomes new people and endevours to answer their questions. I can’t really talk about such things with people I know in real life. So therefore I turned to the internet. And I believe its the best thing for me at the moment.

Thank you and we are glad to be here for you.

Peace
James

 

[whiteknite]

If you must lust after a woman then take her as your Concubine…
Just like King Solomon he had 700 official wives and 300 concubines…

 

[Neil_Anthony]

It is natural for humans to desire the opposite sex. It is our instinct to be attracted to them. Attraction leads to sexual desires (it cannot be ceased). Constantly in our lives, we see the opposite sex and desire to make love to them; even in all types of sexual acts - anal sex, oral sex etc. We cannot stop these hormonal intuitions. It is part of us and we have been created that way. Of course, not all of us desire sexual acts which are regarded ‘unatural’ such as ‘anal sex’ and ‘oral sex’. But the mere fact of wanting to ‘screw someone’ plays a part in our lives CONSTANTLY - especially in youths and earlier stages of life.

So therefore, why is the desire to have sex with someone you are not married to a sin?

ISN’T IT NATURAL TO THE HUMAN BODY???!!

If you really want to avoid these thoughts, ask God for help, and when you have them, turn away from the thoughts like someone who really dislikes them. The choice for or against sin is in your choice whether to encourage the thought, or switch to another thought.

With God’s assistance, which you should pray to receive, and with practice, these thoughts can become less frequent, and easier to turn away from. I’m not sure if it’s possible from a purely human standpoint, but God can give you assistance.

But first you have to decide if you’re willing to give up these thoughts that can be a (false) comfort to you. Don’t object that it’s impossible: just decide if you want to. Then, if you decide you want to (a big decision), start praying regularly for assistance. Pray the rosary, for example, and before each decade ask God to give you a habitual revulsion for thoughts of sexual sin.

 

[BSHoop96]

news flash
there are actually people who can go an entire hour, day, week or year without experiencing a temptation to sexual sin.

yes there are brief periods where the sexual urge is high, they don’t last long in the normal human being, but rather are cyclical. We have all kind of instinctual drives that derive from the animal part of our nature, to eat, to drink, to flee danger, to reproduce etc. In the normal animal as in the normal human, these drives are present at appropriate times. In addition the human possesses the ability to regulate the drives and instincts, to repress or redirect these impulses, and to express them only when appropriate or healthy. The human who lacks this ability probably needs counselling.

for you 17 yr olds sitting around fantasizing about abnormal sex with your friends, consider getting new friends.

In all fairness, I do this this is a more difficult issue for men, especially young men because of all the raging hormones, and I’m not trying to be sarcastic or anything. Of course the statement about finding new friends is not a bad idea.

 

[GraceDK]

If you must lust after a woman then take her as your Concubine…
Just like King Solomon he had 700 official wives and 300 concubines…

A young man here, who might surpass you by far in wisdom and dignity, and manliness in a few weeks, months or years, comes to a Catholic forum to seek advice from fellow believers. Please don’t make a joke out of it.

 

[rwoehmke]

I’m 17 years of age. I don’t think I’ve ever come by another male around the same age as me who did not like the thought of oral sex or other sexual positions; doggy style or whatever. In reality, a youths mind is revolved around sex. Life itself is revolved around sex, and even my life is somewhat revolved around sex. Even at the dinner table with my parents - what are our topics indirectly about?..yeah…sex. Funny…But that’s what society is like now.

I might be raising a few topics which aren’t highly appropriate to speak of here. But I use them as examples.

I guess the reasonable explanation to these desires of sex is that we’ve been brought up in a society which believes these things are right - and therefore we grow up to like them; or in other words we are brainwashed to enjoy such things. I’ll be fully honest here and say that once I found ‘anal sex’ as completely discusting. I thought to myself… how could someone ever do such a thing? Now I know that at that time my mind was still innocet in a sense…I was not brainwashed by society and others at that time. Now, I do not find the act discusting even though it’s imoral. But now I know it is my moral duty to deal with these sexual desires myself, and restrain from ever committing such actions.

In a documentry called ‘What the Bleep Do we Know’ it states that we can actually make our mind LIKE something if we continually repeat it, or think about it, or want it. It’s a long time since I’ve seen this movie but thats just the general gist of it. But nonetheless I see it as quite valid.

Ya, dude, that is exactly the point. You need to cultivate some other interests and activities to broaden your thoughts, interests, and likes beyond the sexual. There are a bazillion things out there in addition to sex that are exciting, stimulating and interesting. God put our brains far above our belt buckles for a reason. You apparently have too much time on your hands for concentrating on sex.

 

[whiteknite]

A young man here, who might surpass you by far in wisdom and dignity, and manliness in a few weeks, months or years, comes to a Catholic forum to seek advice from fellow believers. Please don’t make a joke out of it.

Wasnt a joke grace… its from the OT…