Committing Sins every 10 Seconds

[Harmony1988]

I’m 17 years of age. I don’t think I’ve ever come by another male around the same age as me who did not like the thought of oral sex or other sexual positions; doggy style or whatever. In reality, a youths mind is revolved around sex. Life itself is revolved around sex, and even my life is somewhat revolved around sex. Even at the dinner table with my parents - what are our topics indirectly about?..yeah…sex. Funny…But that’s what society is like now.

I might be raising a few topics which aren’t highly appropriate to speak of here. But I use them as examples.

I guess the reasonable explanation to these desires of sex is that we’ve been brought up in a society which believes these things are right - and therefore we grow up to like them; or in other words we are brainwashed to enjoy such things. I’ll be fully honest here and say that once I found ‘anal sex’ as completely discusting. I thought to myself… how could someone ever do such a thing? Now I know that at that time my mind was still innocet in a sense…I was not brainwashed by society and others at that time. Now, I do not find the act discusting even though it’s imoral. But now I know it is my moral duty to deal with these sexual desires myself, and restrain from ever committing such actions.

In a documentry called ‘What the Bleep Do we Know’ it states that we can actually make our mind LIKE something if we continually repeat it, or think about it, or want it. It’s a long time since I’ve seen this movie but thats just the general gist of it. But nonetheless I see it as quite valid.

I wouldn’t blame you for what you said here. I too at 17 wouldn’t have been thinking any different, but it’s quite the opposite here, you have been brainwashed. If everyone is thinking these things aren’t you just confirming you have fallen exactly into the thought patterns of ‘others’ ?

I’m glad you see things differently now, I went through something similar, 50 - 60 years ago, some of these sexual acts you mentioned would have been generally frowned upon.

 

[AHapka]

I’d be happy to come over to punch your lights out if you dare to assert otherwise.

Lily, you said this on May 31st. You have a signature that proclaims May as the month of the Virgin Mary.

I guess you just proved Father Corapi right. YOUR MAMA WEARS COMBAT BOOTS.

Obviously, you are in her infantry division.

 

[AHapka]

Even at the dinner table with my parents - what are our topics indirectly about?..yeah…sex.

I dare say that is part of the problem. Your parents have raised you with a viewpoint that sex is something to be used for your own pleasure only.

Perhaps I would suggest praying to St. Joseph for a fatherly understanding of sex. Also, the other posters here have given you very good advice.

I would also suggest seeing another Father- a priest. He can help you in the confessional and in ways that we cannot.

 

[LilyM]

Lily, you said this on May 31st. You have a signature that proclaims May as the month of the Virgin Mary.

I guess you just proved Father Corapi right. YOUR MAMA WEARS COMBAT BOOTS.

Obviously, you are in her infantry division.

Amen brother! So does my biological mama, so I got a double dose

I do get a bit cheesed off at this ‘oh women don’t understand’ thing - I’ve BEEN a teenager and had hormones that absolutely raged as much as anybody’s, male or female, not to mention making at least a few (not to say plenty) of mistakes because of 'em, so I don’t get why the mere fact of possessing XX chromosomes means I don’t understand.

 

[kage_ar]

Join the youth group at your Parish. You will find other practicing Catholics there.

Find other Catholic youth on-line - places like www.lifeteen.com or www.phatmass.com.

 

[CentralFLJames]

Amen brother! So does my biological mama, so I got a double dose

I do get a bit cheesed off at this ‘oh women don’t understand’ thing - I’ve BEEN a teenager and had hormones that absolutely raged as much as anybody’s, male or female, not to mention making at least a few (not to say plenty) of mistakes because of 'em, so I don’t get why the mere fact of possessing XX chromosomes means I don’t understand.

haha Lily. In general I think most of us men think that women either have a lot more control over it or most of us really think women don’t have anywhere near the rage we men get in late teens that really is pretty intense through up to mid 20’s. Maybe its myth or affects us in different ways - emotionally vs physical (women-men).

At any rate you seem to break the mold or are more honest about it. Still single and available?

James

 

[butterfly_kisse]

Hey, I am new here and found this thread. i wanted to give my opinion. It is normal to be attracted to the opposite sex, but everyone should control themselves with sexual desires, etc. I am not Catholic, so I probably don’t have the same views, but I think it’s gross for people to randomly have sex with everyone they meet just b/c they have a so- called urge. That’s how hiv/aids/ std’s are spread. People are irresponsible with sex all together. Also, abortion is a major issue. Also, I was taught that as long a two people are married, it doesn’t matter the sexual act they are doing. I was just wanting to mention this since I saw some people post that oral sex, etc was unnatural. I was shown a verse in the Bible where it said that once a man and woman are married, their bed is holy. So, I was taught differently. Just wanted to point that out. To me, it’s the business of the two married people what they do behind closed doors. it shouldn’t be looked upon as filthy if they do other sexual acts…Just my thoughts…

 

[susananne]

It is natural for humans to desire the opposite sex. It is our instinct to be attracted to them. Attraction leads to sexual desires (it cannot be ceased). Constantly in our lives, we see the opposite sex and desire to make love to them; even in all types of sexual acts - anal sex, oral sex etc. We cannot stop these hormonal intuitions. It is part of us and we have been created that way. Of course, not all of us desire sexual acts which are regarded ‘unatural’ such as ‘anal sex’ and ‘oral sex’. But the mere fact of wanting to ‘screw someone’ plays a part in our lives CONSTANTLY - especially in youths and earlier stages of life.

So therefore, why is the desire to have sex with someone you are not married to a sin?

ISN’T IT NATURAL TO THE HUMAN BODY???!!

First of all, humans do have instinct.
Second, Sex was designed for procreation and an expression of love, not desire. It is designed to be between married people to emulate the Holy Family.
Please read CCC #372 and the section on Matrimony and as always, turn to many of the encyclicals written by JPII on marriage and human sexuality.
Many of your questions are normal and I wish I had an articulate and magical answer that would make you see the light. God made sex enjoyable to ensure that we continue the species. We as humans are not exactly obedient to God; therefore, if it didn’t feel good, why would we do it? But he gave us marriage as a boundary and a covenant. A boundary because if we gave in to every single desire, there would be even more disease and illegitimate babies. Could you imagine the world if NO ONE had any self control?? And a covenant to model the Holy Family and God’s love for us.
Anyway, this has become a lengthy post, but I hope some of what I have said has made sense.
God Bless

 

[Howard_Roark]

17 years old - yes, feels like the world revolves around sex, hard to control the mind and body. Frustrating time.

Thanks be to God we get to grow out of that.

20 years later you’ll look back on yourself at 17 and laugh, and marvel that you had that much energy in the first place.

Give yourself a chance to grow up, trust that millions and millions of other people experienced what you are exeriencing - they survived and so will you. Life can be somewhat easier and it’s better for your spiritual development if you can develop a habit of pursuing another interest or task when sexual imagery overwhelms you. You might read the story of St. Jerome, he had most of the same problems and learned to overcome them at least to some degree.

And, of course, keep on trying to avoid pronography and other influences which just inflame these desires. I wish there was some whay you could listen to Steve Ray’s talk on sexual temptation…he gives a really good one with much practical advice (it’s WHOLE lot better than any of these talks or tapes based on “theology of the body”).

Good luck with it all.

Oh, and egad are these Europeans who post on here a sorry, pitiful, hopeless bunch of misfits. A continents of misfits.

 

[gmags2003]

PePPar, I am in nearly the same boat as you. I am not licentious, although sex is all too often on my mind. It does not interfere with my ability to be a practicing Catholic. I have tried my best to reconcile the two much to chagrin of other practicing Catholics. While my thoughts (and not actions…yet…) may be considered disordered by many, I have yet to come to a full realization that they are. Only a few of my friends are constantly thinking about sex, but they are no in way, shape, or form negative influences.

 

[newbetx]

First of all, humans do have instinct.
Second, Sex was designed for procreation and an expression of love, not desire. It is designed to be between married people to emulate the Holy Family.
Please read CCC #372 and the section on Matrimony and as always, turn to many of the encyclicals written by JPII on marriage and human sexuality.
Many of your questions are normal and I wish I had an articulate and magical answer that would make you see the light. God made sex enjoyable to ensure that we continue the species. We as humans are not exactly obedient to God; therefore, if it didn’t feel good, why would we do it? But he gave us marriage as a boundary and a covenant. A boundary because if we gave in to every single desire, there would be even more disease and illegitimate babies. Could you imagine the world if NO ONE had any self control?? And a covenant to model the Holy Family and God’s love for us.
Anyway, this has become a lengthy post, but I hope some of what I have said has made sense.
God Bless

Excellent post. And much shortter than mine!

17 years old - yes, feels like the world revolves around sex, hard to control the mind and body. Frustrating time.

Thanks be to God we get to grow out of that.

20 years later you’ll look back on yourself at 17 and laugh, and marvel that you had that much energy in the first place.

Give yourself a chance to grow up, trust that millions and millions of other people experienced what you are exeriencing - they survived and so will you. Life can be somewhat easier and it’s better for your spiritual development if you can develop a habit of pursuing another interest or task when sexual imagery overwhelms you. You might read the story of St. Jerome, he had most of the same problems and learned to overcome them at least to some degree.

And, of course, keep on trying to avoid pronography and other influences which just inflame these desires. I wish there was some whay you could listen to Steve Ray’s talk on sexual temptation…he gives a really good one with much practical advice (it’s WHOLE lot better than any of these talks or tapes based on “theology of the body”).

Good luck with it all.

Oh, and egad are these Europeans who post on here a sorry, pitiful, hopeless bunch of misfits. A continents of misfits.

Good post, too, but I’m not sure about the European thing…
I love TOB talks but then, I’m much older and know that I would have found them very boring at a young age… Do you have a pointer to the talks? Are they free?

PePPar, I am in nearly the same boat as you. I am not licentious, although sex is all too often on my mind. It does not interfere with my ability to be a practicing Catholic. I have tried my best to reconcile the two much to chagrin of other practicing Catholics. While my thoughts (and not actions…yet…) may be considered disordered by many, I have yet to come to a full realization that they are. Only a few of my friends are constantly thinking about sex, but they are no in way, shape, or form negative influences.

Young men and women.
Oh how I know what you mean. Since I was 11, sex was the main topic of just about every conversation, meeting and effort of my younger years. And it (and my actions that came from it) spoiled not only my life but the lives of several women that looking back, I truely loved. Much changes in 20 (or thirty) years. My hope to you is that you don’t fall victim to the same trappings I did.

TOB can be boring, and it might seem like all our “rules” are only trying to “prevent fun.” Trust me, there is a better way to live than I did. TOB is the “Why” behind the “Don’t.”

There are some books that are based on Theology of the Body that aren’t that boring. TOB can’t be condensed into a post or two, either. Here are some books you might find interesting. With the risks of sex these days… they could literally save your life.
Real Love: Answers to Your Questions on Dating, Marriage and the Real Meaning of Sex (Paperback)

by Mary Beth Bonacci

God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage, and Sex (The Theology of the Body for Young People) by David Hajduk and Mary Beth Bonacci
I’ve read both of these and I know they would have helped me make better decisions in my life. I hope you’ll find them helpful too.

 

[thomfra]

Great post James

From a woman perspective I can say the same goes for us.
When we are not experienced in sexual activity of any kind its highly unlikely that we suddenly go and do crazy things, have crazy thoughts and fantasies or even know of the existense of distorted sex positions etc.

When I fell in love at 25 I felt the universe exploded when I first time held the hand of the man I was in love with. There was nothing sexual in the gesture but it was so EXCITING.

As for distorted sexual activities… yeah I heard about those in school… and would have never come up with them myself… the girl who taught me perverted songs when I just a giggling prepuperty child was the only girl in my class who had two older brothers… Go figure.
I have certainly never had the desire to give a man oral sex Nothing natural about that… its rather repulsive and degrading really.

Why is oral sex degrading? Men can give oral sex to women as well you know?

 

[CentralFLJames]

Why is oral sex degrading? Men can give oral sex to women as well you know?

Men can give oral sex to men as well too (and women to women) - that does not make it right now does it? It is not a natural use of the facilities and is focused on pleasure and sensation seperate from the facility’s purpose of procreation and natural union.

James

 

[JRKH]

Originally Posted by thomfra
Why is oral sex degrading? Men can give oral sex to women as well you know?

I would caution folks here not to get too deeply into these specifics.
Proper Sexual Activity is that between a man and woman who are married and is focused on the unitive act. In addition, any activity must be of mutual consent. So long as we are meeting these conditions and are wishing to provide comfort and pleasure to our spouse, we are acting in a proper loving correct way.
Of course certain activities are spelled out as being wrong in all cases. Certain other activities may be acceptable to one but not the other. Since a properly formed conscience will naturally avoid these specific activities by either their prohibition or our partners discomfort, we can assume that other activities are acceptable as long as they meet the criteria of being mutually agreeable and pleasurable, and that they are focused on the unitive act.

Peace
James