Communion/Annulment question on "living together

[Seatuck]

I did a search to try and find a comment on my type of situation, but I can’t find something exactly like it so I figured I would ask within this thread. Boyfriend and I live together, want to get married, but I want to get married in the Church, and I’ve not yet converted, have to wait for RCIA to start next fall, so I can’t get married any sooner than next Easter, I don’t think. We were “living in sin” but now we’re trying to be chaste. It appears the typical advise is to have him move out, but he’s like a father to my daughter, and whenever he’s not around she misses him greatly. She’s 4 years old and I’m afraid that if he moves back to his moms place that it will have a negative effect on my child. The child is not biologically his, and the biological father is still in the picture but she only sees him like every other weekend for a few hours, versus my boyfriend cooks for her, reads her her bedtime stories, makes sure she gets to school on time and gets picked up as early as possible, plays with her, takes her to the library, takes her on play dates, helps her with her shower, makes sure she brushes her teeth, takes her out on her bike … I’d hate to take all that away from her.

Thoughts?

Unfortunately your time frame is pretty long so the best thing is for him to move out. He should spend as much time as possible with your daughter. Come over early leave when she goes to bed , things like that.
If that is truly impossible then you need to make sure you are not sleeping in the same bed. This is still a sinful situation. You are causing an occaision of sin for each other. Putting each other in risk of something impure happening. Unfortunately ,you are still creating the sin of scandal. At some point she might find out you lived together unmarried and that might cause her to question your morals. If you could say well when we understood it was wrong Daddy moved out until we could get married then it would be a better answer. You are causing a scandal to others who know you are living in this situation.

You don’t say what religion your boyfriend is. Is he Catholic?
I am unclear on why you are waiting to get married?

 

[D0UBTFIRE]

Unfortunately your time frame is pretty long so the best thing is for him to move out. He should spend as much time as possible with your daughter. Come over early leave when she goes to bed , things like that.
If that is truly impossible then you need to make sure you are not sleeping in the same bed. This is still a sinful situation. You are causing an occaision of sin for each other. Putting each other in risk of something impure happening. Unfortunately ,you are still creating the sin of scandal. At some point she might find out you lived together unmarried and that might cause her to question your morals. If you could say well when we understood it was wrong Daddy moved out until we could get married then it would be a better answer. You are causing a scandal to others who know you are living in this situation.

You don’t say what religion your boyfriend is. Is he Catholic?
I am unclear on why you are waiting to get married?

Neither one of us is confirmed. I know his baptism was in the Catholic Church, however mine was not and I’m not sure it was valid. So we both have to go through RCIA. We’ve been going to mass on Sundays, and we’ve asked about RCIA several times, but they tell us that we can’t come into the Church until next year, that it’s too late to start RCIA now. We have to wait until fall to start the program, and it will be complete in Spring 2010. As for marriage, we’d like to get married in the Church, but we can’t do that unless we’re Catholic, right? And we won’t be “Catholic” until Spring 2010…see the dilema??

 

[Seatuck]

Neither one of us is confirmed. I know his baptism was in the Catholic Church, however mine was not and I’m not sure it was valid. So we both have to go through RCIA. We’ve been going to mass on Sundays, and we’ve asked about RCIA several times, but they tell us that we can’t come into the Church until next year, that it’s too late to start RCIA now. We have to wait until fall to start the program, and it will be complete in Spring 2010. As for marriage, we’d like to get married in the Church, but we can’t do that unless we’re Catholic, right? And we won’t be “Catholic” until Spring 2010…see the dilema??

If he has a baptismal certificate from a Catholic Church he is Catholic and will not be coming into the church. Yes he needs education.It is usually best to be a confirmed Catholic before the Sacrament of Marriage but not necessary. You should make an appointment to discuss this with the priest in light of the living together situation. It might be that you can get married as soon as you attend marriage preparation. Along with your boyfriend going to confession . Then both of you attend those RCIA classes.

That’s great that you are going to Mass. Keep doing that.Just don’t go up for communion.

 

[Julian_Peters]

Thank you to all who have participated. This thread is now closed.