Communion Veils

[julieanne]

My daughter will be making her First Holy Communion in May. In the past few years I have attended this mass because of friends children and so on. I have noticed a trend. Many of the girls are not wearing veils or even a wreath of white flowers. I am wondering if this is a practice that is slowly slipping away. I hope not. I asked another mom if her daughter would be wearing a veil and if she was going to wear it and lift it before she recieved Holy Communion. Needless to say she looked at me like I had grown a second head.

I think a child’s first communion veil is an important symbol of fidelity and purity before God. My daughter will be wearing one.

I welcome any thoughts on this subject.

 

[Celia]

Huh. I hope that tradition doesn’t fade away. I remember at my communion, I loved wearing my dress and veil. I thought they were beautiful. My mom had to fight with me in the days before not to play with it, it was special. I wonder why this practice is falling out of favor.
I can’t wait to pick out communion dresses (and veils) for my little girl (s?) someday.

 

[rcn]

julieanne:

I think a child’s first communion veil is an important symbol of fidelity and purity before God.

That is your opinion. But it’s certainly not a dogma that others have to believe. When I made my first communion way-back-when, everyone was asked to wear white. Boys and girls. White shirts, white ties, white dresses, etc. Lots of clothing that was worn once and never again. And none of us were sure why - “because that’s the way it’s always been” was the usual answer.

My daughter will be wearing one.

Why not leave it to the recommendations of whoever is preparing her, so that it can be “her” occasion and not “yours”. How sad it would be if the only memory she had of the big day was that she was the only one who didn’t dress per what was suggested.

 

[netmilsmom]

rcn:

Lots of clothing that was worn once and never again.

In my home parish, as in my parish now, all the First Communicants wear the clothes again for May Crowning and Corpus Christi. As long as they fit.

rcn:

Why not leave it to the recommendations of whoever is preparing her, so that it can be “her” occasion and not “yours”. How sad it would be if the only memory she had of the big day was that she was the only one who didn’t dress per what was suggested.

I agree with you that the child should not look out of place, but I’m not sure that this mom is stating that none of the girls are wearing veils. I actually have never seen “blusher veils” for First Communion, i.e. lifting the veil to receive. I’ve always just seen them hanging down the girls backs.
With the push in more liberal parishes to have individual First Communion, what everyone else wears may not even make a difference. That’s the way it was in my old parish. The family picked a mass and were allowed to go to the front of the line. Ooooo! Big deal.
However, I fully agree with you that if the child does not want it and the other girls are dressing simply, the child herself will have a bad memory.

We just had our First Communion portraits taken. My daughter is in full garb with gloves, tea length dress, flower crown and veil. She looks like a dream! But this may be way out of place at a more Liberal parish.

 

[puzzleannie]

veils date back from the time when all women and girls were required to wear head covering of some type (veils were never required per se, just head covering as the fashion of the day dictated. Into well into the last century women were expected to wear head covering whenever they were seen in public, hence the long history of millinery fashions). the liturgical reforms following V2 removed the obligation to wear head coverings, so communion veils are no longer required.

In any case the communion dress IS NOT supposed to be a mini-wedding dress and never was, so a blusher veil that must be lifted is entirely inappropriate and gives a false idea of the theology of both sacraments, eucharist and matrimony.

the kindest thing you can do for your child is to dress her according to the suggestions made by those who are helping you to prepare her, and let her have a say in what to wear. please work on modesty, the dresses being sold for pre-teen girls are shockingly designed. If you can’t find anything with sleeves, please get a buck’s worth of tulle at Wal-mart and make a shawl and pin it in place over the shoulders.

 

[netmilsmom]

puzzleannie:

the kindest thing you can do for your child is to dress her according to the suggestions made by those who are helping you to prepare her, and let her have a say in what to wear. please work on modesty, the dresses being sold for pre-teen girls are shockingly designed. If you can’t find anything with sleeves, please get a buck’s worth of tulle at Wal-mart and make a shawl and pin it in place over the shoulders.

www.osv.com/eucharist/craft.asp

Here is a short history and a way to make your own.
I think it’s a real pity to take the ceremony out of all this. Every Catholic I know feels that First Communion was the best part of being a child in the Catholic Church. What a pity.

 

[krazykatlady]

My daughter received her first Holy Communion in our previous parish in another state. The priest and the DRE forbade us from dressing our daughters in white dresses and veils. I went along out of obedience but I regret it to this day. The white dresses and veils are a beautiful tradition and give a message to our children that Communion is very special.
At the parish I belong to now the young ladies do wear white dresses and veils. I

 

[netmilsmom]

krazykatlady:

My daughter received her first Holy Communion in our previous parish in another state. The priest and the DRE forbade us from dressing our daughters in white dresses and veils. I went along out of obedience but I regret it to this day. The white dresses and veils are a beautiful tradition and give a message to our children that Communion is very special.
At the parish I belong to now the young ladies do wear white dresses and veils. I

How sad!
I would have gone along as well, but why a DRE or Priest would forbid dressing girls in traditional garb is beyond me.
Would they tell a bride the same??

 

[moderngirl]

I just attended our parent orientation for First Holy Communion last night. My son will be receiving the sacrament in May. Father suggested that the childrens clothing be something that the children would wear again, even going as far as saying the boys could wear a white t-shirt (no logo) and running shoes. He said he definitely didn’t want the girls wearing veils and gloves.

In my opinion, t-shirts and running shoes are a bit too casual. My son will be wearing a nice pair of dress pants, white dress shirt and tie, dress shoes and maybe a nice vest if I can find one.

If I had a girl, I think a summer dress would be nice, something white but maybe with little flowers on it, nice shoes and flowers in her hair.

By the way, we don’t even have a church, so everything will be taking place in our school gym, as it does for every Mass.

 

[julieanne]

rcn:

That is your opinion. But it’s certainly not a dogma that others have to believe. When I made my first communion way-back-when, everyone was asked to wear white. Boys and girls. White shirts, white ties, white dresses, etc. Lots of clothing that was worn once and never again. And none of us were sure why - “because that’s the way it’s always been” was the usual answer.
Why not leave it to the recommendations of whoever is preparing her, so that it can be “her” occasion and not “yours”. How sad it would be if the only memory she had of the big day was that she was the only one who didn’t dress per what was suggested.

Wow -

First, let me say that my post was not to inflame, not to draw fire. I apologize if it did not sound that way.

Are you insinuating that my own baptismal gown, communion dress, and wedding dress were a waste because they were only worn once? I surely hope not. These are very treasured memories for me.

My daughter does attend Catholic school, but due to the fact that Catholics are out numbered 4 to 1, the school does not go in depth on the Sacrements. They touch on it, but preparing our children is our responsibility. We have had a parents only meeting with father and the children with have an hour meeting with him the week before the Sacrement. There is not much direction coming from anyone.

YES!! this is most certainly “her” day and she has picked out her dress and wants to wear a veil. She has picked out everything from head to toes. She has asked specific people to celebrate with her. To insinuate that I am trying to make it “my” day is uncalled for. You can not make a judgement like that from reading a single post.

 

[Faustina]

Personally, I do not like the white veils. I just feel that should be reserved for my daughters wedding. I do however love the wreath of flowers on a little girls head. To me, that is more in keeping with the essence of purity and innocence for a little girl. In our parish, either is acceptable. They do want the girls and boys to be dressed up. This is a special occasion and one of the absolute rules is no running shoes.

 

[julieanne]

puzzleannie:

veils date back from the time when all women and girls were required to wear head covering of some type (veils were never required per se, just head covering as the fashion of the day dictated. Into well into the last century women were expected to wear head covering whenever they were seen in public, hence the long history of millinery fashions). the liturgical reforms following V2 removed the obligation to wear head coverings, so communion veils are no longer required.

In any case the communion dress IS NOT supposed to be a mini-wedding dress and never was, so a blusher veil that must be lifted is entirely inappropriate and gives a false idea of the theology of both sacraments, eucharist and matrimony.

the kindest thing you can do for your child is to dress her according to the suggestions made by those who are helping you to prepare her, and let her have a say in what to wear. please work on modesty, the dresses being sold for pre-teen girls are shockingly designed. If you can’t find anything with sleeves, please get a buck’s worth of tulle at Wal-mart and make a shawl and pin it in place over the shoulders.

Puzzleannie,

Thank you for another wonderful reply! You always take the time to word it just right so as not to ruffle any feathers. You have a good heart. Thank you!

I was required to wear “blusher” when I made my First Holy Communion. So was my sister and all the girls that made it with us. I guess I am drawing from my own life experience. Our priest is not so forth coming on certain issues. He is not interested in clothing. He is interested in our children’s faith journey. If he felt a child was not prepared, he would intervene. He would be taken aback, but would not say a child could not recieve this Sacrement in jeans. If that is all they had to wear, so be it. He is a little laxed on things IMHO, but he does care for all of us. He is a superior example of LIVING our faith.

I didn’t think about the veil mirroring the Sacrement of Marriage. I will look into that more in depth. I was really thinking of it as a sign of respect. That this was her first time recieving the body and blood of Christ.

I did find it amusing that you wrote about a modest dress. I giggled at an image of my dauighter, being the only one with a veil, wearing a strappless, Bratz, dress. (I do not allow her to play with or dress like Bratz dolls!)

Thank you for the intriguing reply.

 

[netmilsmom]

julieanne:

YES!! this is most certainly “her” day and she has picked out her dress and wants to wear a veil. She has picked out everything from head to toes. She has asked specific people to celebrate with her. To insinuate that I am trying to make it “my” day is uncalled for. You can not make a judgement like that from reading a single post.

I got from your original post that your daughter was the one who wanted the traditional garb but other people were giving you the idea that this may not be appropriate. Is that right?

I have to say that it’s my daughter’s “day”, but Mommy will be so proud! I am pleased when she beams! All those other kids that are really nice will be walking with her but she will be the only one to me.

 

[rcn]

julieanne:

Wow -

First, let me say that my post was not to inflame, not to draw fire. … To insinuate that I am trying to make it “my” day is uncalled for. You can not make a judgement like that from reading a single post.

Oh, calm down.

The lack of preparation from your parish, especially a parish with a Catholic school, is disappointing.

 

[netmilsmom]

rcn:

Oh, calm down.

The lack of preparation from your parish, especially a parish with a Catholic school, is disappointing.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands…!!!

You can be a little rough, friend.
The lady was just asking a question and you made an assumption.
Moms are allowed to ask, why read more into it?

 

[Shiann]

I had my First Communion in the 80’s when some of the more “traditional” aspects of this sacrament were not in existence. My mother made my white dress, and it was long sleeved and fell in length to my knee. I felt like a princess. I did not have a veil- as this was an added expense my parents could not afford. I remember how nervous I felt and how grown up I felt. I lost my dress in a fire- and wish I had it again for sentimental reasons.

So when my daughter had the sacrament last year, I wanted her to have tradition. Her dress was plain and had cap sleeves (no strappy dresses for her). She did wear a veil- partly because I regreted not having one when I was a girl- and further because I wanted to integrate more “tradition” into the sacrament for her.

As a final touch, I knitted her a shawl which she wore over her arms for modesty. It was knitted using a three stitch pattern. I thought this would be a great way to represent the Trinity. I knit it in a triangular shape for the same reason. It is very lacy and I am very proud of it. It is something that she can use when she is confirmed, when she is married, and when her children are baptised. She can then pass it on as she desires.

http://server6.uploadit.org/files/cheymeister-f8e450ec.jpg

I’m for the veils, but understand some of the other sentiments here that disent.

 

[netmilsmom]

Shiann:

As a final touch, I knitted her a shawl which she wore over her arms for modesty. It was knitted using a three stitch pattern. I thought this would be a great way to represent the Trinity. I knit it in a triangular shape for the same reason. It is very lacy and I am very proud of it. It is something that she can use when she is confirmed, when she is married, and when her children are baptised. She can then pass it on as she desires.

Wow! That’s beautiful!
Makes the little cape I crocheted look generic!

 

[julieanne]

netmil(name removed by moderator):

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands…!!!

You can be a little rough, friend.
The lady was just asking a question and you made an assumption.
Moms are allowed to ask, why read more into it?

Thank you! Happiness is not a destination, but a way of travel! You obviously travel by way of happiness! Peace to you my friend.

 

[julieanne]

Shiann:

I had my First Communion in the 80’s when some of the more “traditional” aspects of this sacrament were not in existence. My mother made my white dress, and it was long sleeved and fell in length to my knee. I felt like a princess. I did not have a veil- as this was an added expense my parents could not afford. I remember how nervous I felt and how grown up I felt. I lost my dress in a fire- and wish I had it again for sentimental reasons.

So when my daughter had the sacrament last year, I wanted her to have tradition. Her dress was plain and had cap sleeves (no strappy dresses for her). She did wear a veil- partly because I regreted not having one when I was a girl- and further because I wanted to integrate more “tradition” into the sacrament for her.

As a final touch, I knitted her a shawl which she wore over her arms for modesty. It was knitted using a three stitch pattern. I thought this would be a great way to represent the Trinity. I knit it in a triangular shape for the same reason. It is very lacy and I am very proud of it. It is something that she can use when she is confirmed, when she is married, and when her children are baptised. She can then pass it on as she desires.

http://server6.uploadit.org/files/cheymeister-f8e450ec.jpg

I’m for the veils, but understand some of the other sentiments here that disent.

This my friend, is one of the most touching, selfless expressions of love, encouragement, and support. I bet this shawl will bring many memories of major moments in your duaghters life! My hat off to you!:tiphat:

 

[netmilsmom]

julieanne:

Thank you! Happiness is not a destination, but a way of travel! You obviously travel by way of happiness! Peace to you my friend.

Julieanne,
You need to post pictures when your daughter is fully dressed! I would love to see her.
If I can figure out how to do it, I will too.
Maybe we can get a Mommy Brag Thread started!

My prayers for your daughter on her special day!
Stacie