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I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s rather apparent that many people don’t respect the Eucharist as they should. But there will always be those like that. I do think better catechesis would help, but it won’t eliminate it all.
I don’t know if this will help at all, but maybe it will, so I’ll share. I’m a very critical/judgmental person by nature. I spot faults and make negative assessments about people as quickly and unconsciously as breathing, even passing strangers at the grocery store or driving down the road. It’s not that I think I’m better than others, but that I just tend to spot faults over everything, like it’s instinct.
I used to tell myself it was because I worried about the faults people see in me, so it was a kind of unreasonable defensive measure. And I still think that’s a big part of it. But that didn’t help me fight against it very much. I didn’t want to be like that, and it’s a real struggle.
What finally did help was having kids. There have been times where my children (7 and 2, currently) have done things that were wrong and selfish, and could be (and sometimes were) taken as being disrespectful. But even though they were technically wrong and selfish, they were still developing and learning, and really had no real conscious awareness or understanding of the full impact or meaning of their actions.
Some of the most precious moments of being a parent have been seeing one of my little toddlers creating a complete disaster while trying to mimic a more “grown up” action. Like walking into the kitchen to find my son sitting in a puddle of water and soggy cat food. In less than two minutes, he managed to open a gallon jug of water and turn it on its side, so water was everywhere, and he also grabbed the bag of dry cat food and turned it upside down, spilling its entire contents into the puddle. So as I walk back into the kitchen and find this scene, he looks up and says, “Kee-cat! Eat!” He had this proud look on his face, like he was helping out, doing some “grown-up” work (although he missed the cat’s water and food bowls by about a foot, hehe).
Well, my initial shock and frustration was immediately melted by his demeanor. He wasn’t trying to be bad, he was actually trying to do good. He did it all wrong, and thusly failed, but his intention wasn’t bad. I couldn’t stop grinning, because it was just too adorable.
There have been plenty of situations like that with my kids. They do what they see others doing or they purposefully try to do something good, but they don’t have a good enough knowledge, understanding, or practice to actually do it properly. When we see babies in a situation like this, we, as parents, often smile and feel a sense of pride at their misbegotten attempts. It’s because, as parents, we simply love our children, even when they mess things up.
When I start thinking critically or judgmentally about others now, I try to remind myself of this. I think “what is this person’s true intention? Is he purposefully being malicious/disrespectful/etc.?” Perhaps he simply isn’t aware of the full impact and meaning of his actions, as they are taken or perceived by others.
In the specific instance you bring up about those not respecting the Eucharist properly, I offer this: When our young ones receive their First Communion, do we evaluate and judge how much and how well they respect the Eucharist? Sure, we make sure they “do” everything right, but do we honestly evaluate their belief in the real presence? I won’t say that kids at that age can’t fully understand or believe in the real presence, but I think it’s fair enough to say that there are plenty who don’t. But we don’t stop them from receiving. Even parents who might know that their child doesn’t fully understand or respect the Eucharist will not stop them from receiving. Instead, they smile and beam with pride and love as their child receives for the first time. And they should, because receiving the Eucharist is most definitely a good thing.
So fast forward twenty years to that child (now grown) casually popping the Eucharist in his mouth and crunching down without a thought. To those of us who understand and contemplate the real presence, his action is cringeworthy at best, downright disrespectful at worst. But we can’t see into his heart. We don’t know his true intentions. Perhaps he simply doesn’t fully understand the nature of the Eucharist. Perhaps he’s simply mimicking his parents’ tradition. Perhaps he knows he’s doing something good, but simply doesn’t realize that the way he is doing it not.
I wonder if God looks at this child of his, seeing him mess up at trying to do a good thing and not even realize he messed it up, and simply smiles, just as we parents smile when watch our children make a mess of things. So just like we parents know our child didn’t cause a disaster out of malice and that they don’t realize their “good deed” was actually a disaster, perhaps God looks at many of us in a similar fashion.
I’m not trying to domesticate God, saying he just smiles and says “aww, how cute” when we do something wrong. But I don’t want to ignore His fatherly nature with us, either. I think God looks into the hearts of people and knows that some “wrong” actions were performed in ignorance or a lack of understanding. Jesus, in His greatest agony, said, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” We can’t see into people’s hearts, so we simply have to give the benefit of the doubt.
Ok, that got long, haha. Hopefully someone finds it helpful in some way! lol
to you!!!