Community and feeling welcome at mass

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Singingbeauty,

I am so sorry that you found the posts offensive regarding Protestant worship services. I hope no one was actually implying that Protestants DON’T worship (which is totally untrue) but rather… that the worship is different from what we do at the Catholic Church.

Of course no one knows your heart & no one has any right whatsoever to judge you!!! Your worship is between you & God - period. But… just to be fair… wouldn’t you agree that you likewise don’t know the hearts of those at the Catholic Church and perhaps you can’t assume that they aren’t happy that God loves them - based on the fact that they aren’t smiling??
 
But… just to be fair… wouldn’t you agree that you likewise don’t know the hearts of those at the Catholic Church and perhaps you can’t assume that they aren’t happy that God loves them - based on the fact that they aren’t smiling??
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I was basically making my point in regards to the following quote…
From my experience Protestants (in general) attend Sunday service to feel good. They get a laugh out of it, dance, and do some singing that makes them feel good ect. Catholic Mass is a totally different experience. Mass is a sacrifice and a solemn event. Mass is not the place to pat each other on the back or to exchange phone numbers or anything like that, contrary to some peoples feelings.
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The bolded words are what I was referring to. No, I don’t actually think that catholics aren’t joyful when it comes to God but based on what I see in the faces of those in the congregation and those at the pulpit (all faces showed no reaction or feeling whatsoever) and that of the quote above, I am beginning to think that some feel it’s a sin to show joyful emotion at Mass…
 
Hi Singing,
Yes, there are some very solemn Catholics that think that emotional expression at Mass is irreverent. You are correct in that. We have some at my parish. They are very strict in their approach, and are harsh critics of any deviation of their style of worship.

The difference about Catholicism is that you probably have a lot more diversity within the Catholic Church that you have within the Protestants sects. In Protestantism, the people who like emotional expression go for the Pentecostal churches, the ones that love a great sermon are attracted to Evangelical ones, etc, and so forth. When Protestants want a different worship style, they go to a different denomination.
 
Also, there is the whole issue of ettiquette at Catholic Churches. It varies from parish to parish, and from Mass to Mass. At some parishes, there is a strict pre-Mass decorum observed of praying in the pew, being as silent as possible. The stricter people at my parish also pray after Mass in the pew. They frown on chatting in the church.

Other parishes, or different Masses within the same parish will have a more relaxed approach. People will chat and exchange news before Mass. Some of the more strict people disapprove of this, and think it’s an influence from the Protestants. It’s a controversy within the church, some of these ettiquette issues. And some of this strict ettiquette does put a damper on getting to know other people.
 
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HelpingHands:
Also, there is the whole issue of ettiquette at Catholic Churches. It varies from parish to parish, and from Mass to Mass. At some parishes, there is a strict pre-Mass decorum observed of praying in the pew, being as silent as possible. The stricter people at my parish also pray after Mass in the pew. They frown on chatting in the church.
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I’m a pretty charismatic, free-wheeling, we can learn a few things from the Protestants kinda gal when it comes to stuff like this. But I gotta agree with the old ladies: in the sanctuary is not the place to chat about Cousin Bob’s new haircut (whether or not the Blessed Sacrament is present). I’ve always seen such chatting occuring in what is called the narthex or foyer. But there is no reason it can not happen there!
 
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HelpingHands:
Hi Singing,
Yes, there are some very solemn Catholics that think that emotional expression at Mass is irreverent. You are correct in that. We have some at my parish. They are very strict in their approach, and are harsh critics of any deviation of their style of worship.

The difference about Catholicism is that you probably have a lot more diversity within the Catholic Church that you have within the Protestants sects. In Protestantism, the people who like emotional expression go for the Pentecostal churches, the ones that love a great sermon are attracted to Evangelical ones, etc, and so forth. When Protestants want a different worship style, they go to a different denomination.
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Just to add - when Catholics want a different “style” of worship, we have the many rites that unite to make the Catholic Church, and in many dioceses, they have the charismatic movement, which is a Holy Spirit-centered form of worship; teens have their teen or youth Masses with lively music in the appropriate places. And here in San Diego county, we have Masses that appeal to the African-American population, with vibrant gospel Masses. I like to think that the Catholic Church has something for everyone! 👍
 
I have yet to go to a Catholic mass and not feel welcomed. I try to make an effort after mass to introduce myself to people I don’t recognize. I am tired of hearing how Catholics are poor at hospitality. I believe a lot of people that don’t feel welcome actually make little effort to extend their hospitality. We all have the choice to make ourselves welcomed or sit back and wait for someone else to make the effort.
 
Some very disrespectful, untrue and hurtful implications have been made on this thread concerning Protestants and their intentions and behavior at church.

It makes me very sad to read such.

cheddar
 
Sometimes people do mistake the respect Catholics have for the Mass for a coldness. It is very important to realize we do have the real presence of Jesus there and we should focus on that. Not to say we shouldn’t be friendly, but often the focus on worship and respect of Jesus is mis-understood as stand-offish.

The focus of the Mass is forward and up and should rightly be so. The real problem is changing environments, from worshipping Christ to community. Before you enter the Church and after we sometimes get caught up in our focus of Jesus that we ignore other people and we should really work on community. All about Jesus also includes the Body of Christ and as members of the Body of Christ we should treat each other as such.

We can learn a lot from our Evangelical, Protestant and other non-catholic brothers and sisters in community. We get too focused on worshipping Jesus at Mass that we ignore everyone else before and after Mass. It is easy to do, but very common in Catholic Churches.

The good thing is this is a sort of springtime for the Church. We have a lot of people studying their way back to the Catholic Church, bringing with them the love of Jesus, but also the sense of community from other Churches. We have small faith groups and all sorts of better Catechesis starting up. We have so many people coming back that have gone through so much just to be Catholic that can show us how to be better Catholics, how to be better communities.

After pretty much studying my way back to the Church, I am planning on starting a small apologetics group after Mass to help bring us together and share the gift of our faith.

All the experimentation, crummy Catechesis and tossing out of “the old” after Vatican II is starting to be cleared up and we are beginning to see good things on the horizon.

God Bless
Scylla

P.S. Singing, sometimes posts on perception of some protestants is hurtful and we should refrain from making generalizations on either side. I have seen some crazy things in many different Churches. Not all Catholics are perfect, far from it, as you can see, your right in that we shouldn’t judge protestants by some of the more extreme things we have seen out there. God Bless
 
Sometimes people do mistake the respect Catholics have for the Mass for a coldness. It is very important to realize we do have the real presence of Jesus there and we should focus on that. Not to say we shouldn’t be friendly, but often the focus on worship and respect of Jesus is mis-understood as stand-offish.
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Forgive my misunderstanding… and this may seem a bit weird… But I do believe that God and Jesus are there and I am in their presence not only at church but outside of it as well. And knowing that I am more joyful than ever and the respect I show is to be outwardly joyful as well as inwardly. God is with us! Isn’t that the most wonderful thing you have ever known?!? Jesus died for my sins so that I may be with Him in Heaven when the time comes! I can’t help but smile and laugh at this thought. My worship is to show the joy that His sacrifice has bought me! I don’t know how people can walk into God’s house or even walk around the streets having this knowledge and look so dead.
 
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Singinbeauty:
Forgive my misunderstanding… and this may seem a bit weird… But I do believe that God and Jesus are there and I am in their presence not only at church but outside of it as well. And knowing that I am more joyful than ever and the respect I show is to be outwardly joyful as well as inwardly. God is with us! Isn’t that the most wonderful thing you have ever known?!? Jesus died for my sins so that I may be with Him in Heaven when the time comes! I can’t help but smile and laugh at this thought. My worship is to show the joy that His sacrifice has bought me! I don’t know how people can walk into God’s house or even walk around the streets having this knowledge and look so dead.
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This reminds me of the song “I Can Only Imagine” (midi in top left corner) by MercyMe. Different people have different forms of worship, especially within the Catholic Church. A perfect example is the contrast between Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI. JP II would regularly sway with the music and was outwardly and obviously charismatic. Pope Benedict has an entirely different attitude of quiet and introspective reflection. Neither is wrong. It is this coming together of different foci that makes the Catholic Church so rich in my eyes.

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
 
This is true… but the facial expressions and the cold shoulder effect is what I am talking about. Would you give Jesus a dead expression if He were to physically stand before your very eyes? Or would you show SOME emotion? I just can’t see someone in today’s christian world standing in front of Jesus with the dead expression (no emotion whatsoever, bored even) I see on so many faces either in the protestant church or the catholic one… It’s a mystery to me!
 
Forest,

Thanks for your most helpful post to me. You mention:
What is has turned in to is the same people who are active in the church anyway are just meeting in their small groups
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This is my exact fear of what will happen! It sounds like a great idea to break the *entire *parish into small groups. I see exactly the difference that would make. I’m going to mull over your thoughts and perhaps take an idea or two to our Sept. meeting.
My current church also has a Newcomers Desk. It is always dark, never updated, and never pointed out.
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Yes, there must be something. Maybe a giant arrow taped to the wall pointing to the display…Find out about Jesus here…then another giant arrow pointing to the nave…Meet Jesus there. Hah! No priest will agree to that.

I know just what you mean about getting involved. At my parish, it took me years to really hook in. There is this threshold you must cross, and somehow, one day, I found myself over it. I want it to be easier for others to find and cross it, hmmm. Pray that our meeting later this month goes well!
 
One problem that can arise in these small groups came up with what an acquaintance of mine from another parish confided in me once. She had been a long standing member of a renew group that had kept meeting long after the program was dropped by the church. They had helped a couple of elderly members at their deathbed vigil, had confided in one another about very personal struggles, and helped each other through crisis and travail.

Now, some ladies from outside their group were wanting to join. My friend was against that because she felt like she had built up trust in these specific members of the group. Her husband was an alcoholic, and they had been a great source of support and comfort with that struggle. She was very depressed that the group would never be the same. They had consulted with their priest and brought it to a vote, deciding to admit new members. My friend was having trouble coming to terms with that. The issue had also divided the group.

If they hadn’t accepted these new members, it would have appeared elitist and exclusionary. So, you can see, there is no easy answer always.
 
As we shouldn’t judge what we have seen at some Protestant Churches, please don’t judge Catholics or Protestants from what you have seen. Then it just becomes a perception based thing, instead of looking for truth. God knows the heart and though it is very popular these days to look how Churches look, I urge you to try and not do that.

Either way we could put a spin on perception to make a point, either saying that people have a dead look on them(dead faith kinda thing), or people acting happy as a (superficial empty faith) either way is pointless, and just a way of trying to a make a point off of personal perception.

As I said before a lot of our converts coming to the Church from Evangelical, Protestant and other Churchs do bring a lot of good things with them. The implementation of small faith groups and the success of it is a great thing that Catholic Churches are learning from our separated bretheren.

God Bless
Scylla
 
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Singinbeauty:
This is true… but the facial expressions and the cold shoulder effect is what I am talking about. Would you give Jesus a dead expression if He were to physically stand before your very eyes? Or would you show SOME emotion? I just can’t see someone in today’s christian world standing in front of Jesus with the dead expression (no emotion whatsoever, bored even) I see on so many faces either in the protestant church or the catholic one… It’s a mystery to me!
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Not everyone is comfortable showing their emotions. I myself have been moved to tears during the mass, but am very loath to show it to others. The joy I feel in the Eucharist is not that of laughing and shouting, but of earth-shaking, soul-rattling, down-to-the-core-of-my-being joy that I cannot express to others. None of my previous experiences in Protestantism ever made me feel such profound feelings, even when I was having fun during the services.

Your description of Catholics as appearing “dead” is very offensive to me, and indicates that you really don’t know what’s going on inside us. As the old saying goes, you cannot judge a book by its cover.
 
I’ve never had the great feeling of comraderie that most people apparently experience at Mass. But, I always assumed that the reason we are at Mass is to worship God.
 
Your description of Catholics as appearing “dead” is very offensive to me, and indicates that you really don’t know what’s going on inside us. As the old saying goes, you cannot judge a book by its cover.
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I appologize if I have offended anyone on this thread… it was not my intention. As I said, it was my PERCEPTION. I did not say it was fact. I was also replying to the following quote when I said that…
Sometimes people do mistake the respect Catholics have for the Mass for a coldness. It is very important to realize we do have the real presence of Jesus there and we should focus on that. Not to say we shouldn’t be friendly, but often the focus on worship and respect of Jesus is mis-understood as stand-offish.
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I was saying that I could not understand how so many could look so bored (and yes, I am on the outside so I do not know what is going on inside) if they TRULY believe that Jesus is there with them. I am often moved to tears in my protestant church so it can happen there also. And it’s not to say that you have to cry everytime you enter church, although more often than not I am crying in my church service, but there has to be some sort of emotion shown on your face. But then again that is just me. I cannot speak for someone else and how they feel. One of my own pet peeves in my own church is that when someone is singing about God’s love and mercy and how they are so joyful they do it with a straight face and don’t show the joy. It makes me wonder. And if it makes ME wonder what does that say for the non-christians who come in and see how people are just going through the motions in that church. It’s not a welcoming sight. I, myself, would not want to go to a church (and this has turned me off of some churches) where people sing about joy and praising God but their faces look dead (emotionally).
 
Chris Jacobsen:
I’ve never had the great feeling of comraderie that most people apparently experience at Mass. But, I always assumed that the reason we are at Mass is to worship God.
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But how could you NOT feel comraderie knowing that they are all there for the same reason as yourself? Especially in today’s world where it can feel like you are alone in your faith when it comes to the outside (work and non-church events). We are the body of Christ. Joined by the blood of our Lord. I feel comraderie even here on this catholic board though I am not catholic.
 
Hello comrade!

I like that word comraderie, great word. You are welcome here Singinb.

Scylla
 
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