Company Dinner Dilemma

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dorothytb

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I hope I’m posting under the correct thread. Here is my dilemma, and any help/advice that can be offered would be most appreciated:

Husband has company dinner coming up with just two other employees and their spouses. My husband’s boss (who is a very good and fair employer) and their “same-sex partner” is one of the couples attending.

Because this event is in such a small group setting, I’m nervous about the possibly of conversations leading to details of their life together (including parenting). Obviously I don’t want to seem cold and unkind, however, I definitely don’t want to give any impression that I approve of their living situation. Neither would it be an appropriate opportunity for evangelization, especially since it could ultimately hurt my husband’s position.

So, what is a person to do?! If it weren’t necessary for my husband, I wouldn’t even attend. Has anyone ever had a similar predicament, and if so, how did you handle it?

God bless,
Dorothy
 
You’re attending a business-social function where spouses are welcome. These people are going to talk about the same things anyone would: work, their kids, home remodeling projects, etc. And yes, just like any couple it is going to be clear that their lives are spent together. If you can’t make it through a meal without giving some sort of indication of disapproval, you need to stay home.

Insulting your husband’s boss and his family is a risky proposition and could end up harming your family greatly in the long run.
 
Be kind to all the guests. Small talk can be very pleasant without touching on iffy subjects.

My husband and I have a good friend from college with a same-sex partner. They are lots of fun to spend time with. We talk about all kinds of things. We’re not cold to either of them; in fact, we like both of them a lot. We don’t approve of their lifestyle and they know that, but we don’t bring it up every time we talk.
 
You don’t need to approve of their situation, or disapprove of it. Just have pleasant conversation, as you would with any other couple you might meet and not know much about.

I have a gay cousin. He and his partner have a child and another on the way. We have never, EVER, had anything come up in discussions of parenting or general conversation that has been an outright discussion of their relationship.

Just like you wouldn’t make the conversation about your heterosexuality, they likely aren’t going to make the conversation about their homosexuality. Both things are pretty much dead ends as conversations go anyway, especially over dinner 🙂
 
Have you never been friends with or been around gay people before? I think because I taught school for so many years that LGBTQ humans are just like everyone else - some good, some bad and some that I would like to get to know better.🙂
 
CCC

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

Peace
 
While in Washington, Pope Francis met privately with a former student and his same-sex partner. I don’t know what, exactly, transpired because I wasn’t there, but I’m willing to bet Pope Francis was kind and loving to both gentlemen.

If you can’t be kind and loving, without showing either approval or disapproval, then I agree with the poster who advised staying home. You don’t want to jeopardize your husband’s job or make things awkward for him at his work place.
 
hazcompat said:
CCC

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

Peace
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Really, quoting the CCC? If a person needs to look at the CCC before deciding how to treat another person who might be of a different sexual orientation, then, the CCC will not help. Just say’nn:eek:
 
kozlosap said:
Really, quoting the CCC? If a person needs to look at the CCC before deciding how to treat another person who might be of a different sexual orientation, then, the CCC will not help. Just say’nn:eek:
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I think the CCC is a great place to start. I should read it more often, not less.
 
kozlosap said:
Really, quoting the CCC? If a person needs to look at the CCC before deciding how to treat another person who might be of a different sexual orientation, then, the CCC will not help. Just say’nn:eek:
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Of course the CCC is not an etiquette guidebook. I think the quoted passage is a useful reminder that we should be guided by the principle of love which, as described in the passage, need not be either intolerant or permissive.
 
dorothytb said:
I hope I’m posting under the correct thread. Here is my dilemma, and any help/advice that can be offered would be most appreciated:

Husband has company dinner coming up with just two other employees and their spouses. My husband’s boss (who is a very good and fair employer) and their “same-sex partner” is one of the couples attending.

Because this event is in such a small group setting, I’m nervous about the possibly of conversations leading to details of their life together (including parenting). Obviously I don’t want to seem cold and unkind, however, I definitely don’t want to give any impression that I approve of their living situation. Neither would it be an appropriate opportunity for evangelization, especially since it could ultimately hurt my husband’s position.

So, what is a person to do?! If it weren’t necessary for my husband, I wouldn’t even attend. Has anyone ever had a similar predicament, and if so, how did you handle it?

God bless,
Dorothy
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A little bit kindness, respect and good manners will go a long way; you are not there to approve or disapprove of anyone’s lifestyle; it’s just dinner. If the conversation turns to a topic that makes you feel uncomfortable, then remain silent and join in again when you feel ok about it. It will be ok. :bounce:
 
Catholic1954 said:
A little bit kindness, respect and good manners will go a long way; you are not there to approve or disapprove of anyone’s lifestyle; it’s just dinner. If the conversation turns to a topic that makes you feel uncomfortable, then remain silent and join in again when you feel ok about it. It will be ok. :bounce:
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Right.

Unless you work for a very…unusual…company, the sexual behavior of one’s bosses and coworkers generally doesn’t come up over the course of dinner conversation. 😉
 
I think you are creating a dilemma where there isn’t one. My company has a number of SSA individuals, three of whom I know are legally married to their partners. Of these three, one was my boss for 7 years, and two are my peers in my department. I have interacted, worked, eaten with, and genuinely enjoyed all three of them for years. I know two of the “spouses”. I never refer to them as “spouse” I refer to them by name. “How’s Jack?” “Did you have fun on your vacation?” I mean, in all the lunches and dinners, business meetings, etc, I’ve never been put in a position to condone a specific behavior that I would be unable to condone.

None of them invited me to their ceremonies, and while part of that may be that they were in other states from where I live (others in the company were invited and attended long distance) the other part I suspect is that they know I’m Cathlolic and wouldn’t attend,
 
dorothytb said:
I hope I’m posting under the correct thread. Here is my dilemma, and any help/advice that can be offered would be most appreciated:

Husband has company dinner coming up with just two other employees and their spouses. My husband’s boss (who is a very good and fair employer) and their “same-sex partner” is one of the couples attending.

Because this event is in such a small group setting, I’m nervous about the possibly of conversations leading to details of their life together (including parenting). Obviously I don’t want to seem cold and unkind, however, I definitely don’t want to give any impression that I approve of their living situation. Neither would it be an appropriate opportunity for evangelization, especially since it could ultimately hurt my husband’s position.

So, what is a person to do?! If it weren’t necessary for my husband, I wouldn’t even attend. Has anyone ever had a similar predicament, and if so, how did you handle it?

God bless,
Dorothy
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Well, if it was the same-sex couple inviting you to a dinner to celebrate their anniversary then that would be a different situation. But the purpose of the dinner is not to celebrate their relationship. The fact that they’re there is just a by-the-way, Catholics are not prevented from socialising with people who are living in sin, Jesus did it all the time, he just didn’t endorse their sinful lifestyles.

Of course you should go, maybe think of it as a opportunity to be an example of catholic marriage in all it’s glory. 🙂

God Bless
 
Sorry it took so long to respond … thanks everyone for your replies and suggestions. Please let me clarify that I would, in no way, be rude, or cruel, I just wanted to avoid “appearing” rude if I didn’t smile, or laugh along with conversations/statements that were inappropriate/sinful. Catholic1954, your viewpoint is what I had in mind, and exactly how I composed myself.
 
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