Compare & Despair

[Oneofthewomen]

I’m in my mid twenties. People have always been able to pick on and bullying me because I’m highly reactive and well sensitive. I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Same with way I worry so much. I have been through counseling since I was a teen because of child abuse. As an adult, I still carry a lot of that. Will I always depend on counselors? Will I ever find peace and when will all my wounds be healed, most self inflicted and others through no fault of my own.

Only you can change this.
Being highly reactive is a choice. You can change this if you want to. I know, because I did. I was highly reactive and could become very sensitive. Both were choices and defense mechanisms.
A good therapist can help you with this.
As far as being healed and finding peace, again, that is something that you have to do with the help of a good counselor, lots of prayer and a spiritual companion.
It has taken a lifetime to get you to where you are, it will take more than a day to change. And you have to practice. Change is never easy, and usually very uncomfortable, and in the end, usually the best thing we can do for ourselves.

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Only you can change this.
Being highly reactive is a choice. You can change this if you want to. I know, because I did. I was highly reactive and could become very sensitive. Both were choices and defense mechanisms.
A good therapist can help you with this.
As far as being healed and finding peace, again, that is something that you have to do with the help of a good counselor, lots of prayer and a spiritual companion.
It has taken a lifetime to get you to where you are, it will take more than a day to change. And you have to practice. Change is never easy, and usually very uncomfortable, and in the end, usually the best thing we can do for ourselves.

Why do you think you were highly reactive or very sensitive when you were younger?

 

[office]

How can I gain higher self esteem and be patient with myself?

It sounds like you’ve internalized all kinds of self-deprecating ideas based on the dynamics in your family of origin. If your sadness extends as far as depression, you might find cognitive therapy helpful in untangling the knots, either using a self-help book or by talking it out with a counselor. Are you willing to do either of those?

 

[PelagiathePenit]

It sounds like you’ve internalized all kinds of self-deprecating ideas based on the dynamics in your family of origin. If your sadness extends as far as depression, you might find cognitive therapy helpful in untangling the knots, either using a self-help book or by talking it out with a counselor. Are you willing to do either of those?

based on a history of past disappointments, I guess I need to look forward. After all, tomorrow is another day.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

• Ignore what people say when they shame you
• Be grateful for the gifts you do have - don’t forget the non-moral ones like a talent for flower arranging, languages, keeping animals, mechanics . . .
• I was rather backward. To put it briefly there were ups and downs many caused by others. Now in my 60s and not married as yet, I’m glad I’m me, and I enjoy taking an interest in the things I take an interest in.

 

[office]

based on a history of past disappointments.

You mean counseling that doesn’t work? Someone else was complaining on the other thread that professional counseling is too expensive. It’s a pity that Active Listening isn’t more popular in Catholic parishes, as it requires less training than counseling and is therefore less expensive to offer.