'Compatibility'

[Parabol]

I wrote a long post but decided not to give anything away. Is being with a Muslim woman wrong for a Catholic?

 

[ralphinal]

It will present lots of issues. AS to right and wrong, it all depends on how these issues are handled.

 

[Della]

I wrote a long post but decided not to give anything away. Is being with a Muslim woman wrong for a Catholic?

If you mean date and/or marry, no it isn’t wrong. Parenthetically, having sex outside of marriage with anyone is wrong, of course.

For a Catholic to marry a non-Christian he needs a dispensation from his bishop and/or a priest or deacon to witness the vows–and even these permissions have some reservations. He would also have to promise to bring the children up in the Catholic faith.

 

[Parabol]

Those are very encouraging answers!

Abstaining was a factor in being together, marriage was just… not considerable and never could have been.

Are there any views from Islamic users?

 

[jakasaki]

I’m not an expert, nor am I a muslim ~ but I remember correctly, muslim men may take “people of the book” as spouces but must convert to Islam - but it’s quite opposite for muslim women, for they may **not **take “people of the book” as spouces, however if they do, their male mate must convert to Islam and bring their children up in a Islamic home life.

I am looking forward to answers from our muslim friends on the site.

Best regards, May God Bless us all, and I wish you well,
Pam

New York

 

[Parabol]

Thank you very much, I had a feeling it wasn’t acceptable in Islam but had no idea of gender being a factor.

Edit: also eagerly awaiting an answer from a Muslim user!

 

[Sister_Amy]

The response by jakasaki above is correct.

From a legal point of view, Muslim women are not permitted to marry Jewish or Christian men, while Muslim men are allowed to marry Jewish and Christian women.

That is the legal point of view, I’ll stress.

It’s far better in all cases possible for the men to marry Muslim wives (and most men I’ve talked to would far prefer a Muslim wife anyway.). But for Muslim women that option is closed.

So it would be wrong for the Muslim woman in the OP to be with a Catholic man in marriage.

 

[jakasaki]

**The response by jakasaki above is correct. **

From a legal point of view, Muslim women are not permitted to marry Jewish or Christian men, while Muslim men are allowed to marry Jewish and Christian women.

That is the legal point of view, I’ll stress.

It’s far better in all cases possible for the men to marry Muslim wives (and most men I’ve talked to would far prefer a Muslim wife anyway.). But for Muslim women that option is closed.

So it would be wrong for the Muslim woman in the OP to be with a Catholic man in marriage.

My Dear Sister Amy…

I am humble with your answer and acknowledgement and I thank you. Smiles to you…and…

Best regards and May God Bless Us, Everyone!
Pamela
New York

 

[Parabol]

Thanks for the answer, I want to make this clear though, marriage isn’t part of the equation, just being ‘romantically’ related without having sex is the question I’d like answered, I think the answer was implied but I’m not sure

Thanks!

 

[jakasaki]

Thanks for the answer, I want to make this clear though, marriage isn’t part of the equation, just being ‘romantically’ related without having sex is the question I’d like answered, I think the answer was implied but I’m not sure

Thanks!

Hmmmm - I will let Sister Amy address this in detail, but will add my 2 cents from what I know…

Well, it all depends how religious she is. If she into her faith of Islam, well then you need to back off and move on.

If she is **NOT **into her faith well then, if she accepts you it’s OK. **BUT **- even though she might not be religious, you need to take in consideration her “family” which they might not like what she is doing regardless of her faith into Islam.

Best wishes to you and blessings,
Pam
New York

 

[Rawb]

Thanks for the answer, I want to make this clear though, marriage isn’t part of the equation, just being ‘romantically’ related without having sex is the question I’d like answered, I think the answer was implied but I’m not sure

If marrage is out of the question, why date? Isn’t the point of dating to find someone to marry?

Sister Amy, purely for my own curiosity, what would happen if a woman was married to a nonMuslim man, but then she converted to Islam and he didn’t?

 

[Sister_Amy]

My Dear Sister Amy…

I am humble with your answer and acknowledgement and I thank you. Smiles to you…and…

Best regards and May God Bless Us, Everyone!
Pamela
New York

Sure… my pleasure?

 

[Parabol]

The relationship ended a while back and we remain friends, I was just curious. Thanks and god bless

 

[Sister_Amy]

Thanks for the answer, I want to make this clear though, marriage isn’t part of the equation, just being ‘romantically’ related without having sex is the question I’d like answered, I think the answer was implied but I’m not sure

Thanks!

It’s a big no-no still.

In Islam, there is an understanding that what leads to something forbidden is also forbidden. The Qur’an doesn’t say “don’t commit adultery,” it actually says, “don’t come near to adultery/fornication.” Don’t even come near.

If a man and women are alone together, it is said that the devil makes a third among them. Seclusion between individuals of opposite genders ought to be restricted as much as possible. So dating is not at all something condoned by Islam.

jakasaki once again made some excellent points about the girl’s family, that even if she doesn’t care about the dictates of her religion, her family might raise some rather strong objections.

 

[Sister_Amy]

If marrage is out of the question, why date? Isn’t the point of dating to find someone to marry?

Sister Amy, purely for my own curiosity, what would happen if a woman was married to a nonMuslim man, but then she converted to Islam and he didn’t?

This is a good question with a complicated answer. In some cases, the woman would be advised to be patient with the situation, especially if her husband allows her to practice freely, and try to teach him about Islam. And in other cases she might be advised to leave him if he refuses Islam.

I’ve seen evidence for both sides, and have seen many women put in that position, and frankly am grateful that I never had to make that kind of a decision.

 

[Reuben_J]

I wrote a long post but decided not to give anything away. Is being with a Muslim woman wrong for a Catholic?

No, it is not.

Surely there are lots of nice Muslim girls out there! Of course you have to carry yourself as a Catholic that you are - chaste and respect. She should not be treated differently from any good girls that you like.

But if you thinking of getting serious with her there may be complication with regards to religous requirement that need to be sorted out.

Regards.

 

[4Squarebaby]

This is a good question with a complicated answer. In some cases, the woman would be advised to be patient with the situation, especially if her husband allows her to practice freely, and try to teach him about Islam. And in other cases she might be advised to leave him if he refuses Islam.

I’ve seen evidence for both sides, and have seen many women put in that position, and frankly am grateful that I never had to make that kind of a decision.

From what I was lead to believe Muslim women could not take a non Muslim spouse because Islam sees the man as the spiritual head of the household and given time the woman’s faith would be worn away. Muslim men are allowed to marry other women “of the Book” for the same reason. While he will not force conversion it is believed that his influence will eventually lead her to Islam.

So does Islam have an “out clause” like the Bible does for a convert whose spouse chooses to leave rather then stay with a new Christian or in this case a new Muslim?

 

[Sister_Amy]

From what I was lead to believe Muslim women could not take a non Muslim spouse because Islam sees the man as the spiritual head of the household and given time the woman’s faith would be worn away. Muslim men are allowed to marry other women “of the Book” for the same reason. While he will not force conversion it is believed that his influence will eventually lead her to Islam.

So does Islam have an “out clause” like the Bible does for a convert whose spouse chooses to leave rather then stay with a new Christian or in this case a new Muslim?

I think you might have been misled. The reason Muslims men are allowed to marry women who are Christian or Jewish (not just “non-Muslim,” but only Christian or Jewish) is because Allah specifically allowed the women of the People of the Book as spouses, and not the men. That derived directly from an ayah in the Qur’an. It’s not because men are spiritual heads of household (which is not necessarily even true) or forced conversions or anything like that.

As I said, this is a legal opinion, with legal evidence (i.e., the Qur’an.) It’s not a matter of the roles of men or women in society.

A friend of mine often points out that if a man is not religious but his wife is, then more than likely his children will be religious, as his wife is the one who will teach them. But if a husband is religious and his wife is not, there’s less chance his children will be religious because, once again, they are taught by the mother. It’s for that reason that religious Muslim men prefer Muslim women as brides.

I’ll reiterate again that this is a** legal **matter, and that’s important to understand because women are guaranteed certain rights from their husband in Islam which other religious (Christianity and Judaism) do not protect. Therefore if a Muslim woman marries someone outside her religion, what is the guarantee that he will respect her rights? (For instance, the right to a divorce, to a dowry, fair treatment, etc.)

To answer your question, I don’t really know what an “out clause” is so I’m not sure I can answer.

There are historical examples (i.e., during the life of Muhammad) of women who embraced Islam while their husbands did not. In some cases they were to leave their husbands, and in some cases not. I haven’t really studied the matter in depth, and I’ve seen scholars who stand on either side of the issue. It’s complicated, for sure, and like I said, I’m glad it’s not something I had to go through.

 

[Sam_777]

I wrote a long post but decided not to give anything away. Is being with a Muslim woman wrong for a Catholic?

In Islam a Muslim woman can not marry non-Muslim man per (Quran 2:221), but a Muslim man can marry Jewish or Christian woman per (Quran 5:5).

And as other members have explained we don’t have in Islam a special relation between a woman and a man outside the marriage covenant.