Complaint Regarding Music Written On Back Of Donation Envelope

[jamessmith]

Okay, let’s assume the anonymous writer was angry about piano music being played during the Gospel. A few people have said that this does constitute liturgical abuse.
So how exactly does one talk to the pastor about this? “Gee Father, I know that maybe some people might like the soft music during the Gospel, but actually it’s a liturgical abuse! Good thing you have me to set you straight! Because I read the answer on CAF!” Don’t you think that the pastor knows this isn’t correct, and allows (or even causes) it to happen? Maybe other strange things too at this parish. People in the pews do get upset because they feel like they have to look up all the weird things that happen at Mass.

You didn’t find your answer on CAF. CAF directed you to the liturgical documents which say it’s illicit.

 

[zab]

Okay, let’s assume the anonymous writer was angry about piano music being played during the Gospel. A few people have said that this does constitute liturgical abuse.
So how exactly does one talk to the pastor about this? “Gee Father, I know that maybe some people might like the soft music during the Gospel, but actually it’s a liturgical abuse! Good thing you have me to set you straight! Because I read the answer on CAF!” Don’t you think that the pastor knows this isn’t correct, and allows (or even causes) it to happen? Maybe other strange things too at this parish. People in the pews do get upset because they feel like they have to look up all the weird things that happen at Mass.

no, I don’t want to assume that. I think whipp711 did it

 

[whipp711]

no, I don’t want to assume that. I think whipp711 did it

GASP! I’ve been fingered!!!

Actually, I’ve sent emails with my phone number to our musical director with compliments and suggestions. Needless to say, he never responds back. That’s almost as bothersome as the anonymous donation envelope complainer (in reverse). Even face to face, he does not want to discuss anything regarding his ministry. He’s stonewalling behind his progressive stance, me stuck with tradition. It is what it is.

 

[whipp711]

I think Jen hit it spot on. My 40 years as a facilitator (BS clinical psychology and MS in counseling psychology) has me leaning towards a personal conflict avoidance or aversion type individual. Throw the grenade into the room and run off. Regardless of whether the person is shy or non-verbal or old or whatever, confrontation is difficult. The anonymous complaint (while possibly valid) is the easy way out.

Person to person involves risk, maybe rejection, possibly negative emotions and arguments. Anonymous (name removed by moderator)ut isn’t necessary invalid due to the delivery method. Face to face leads to meaningful dialogue, compromise, or at least an understand of how others feel.

 

[elsker]

I think Jen hit it spot on. My 40 years as a facilitator (BS clinical psychology and MS in counseling psychology) has me leaning towards a personal conflict avoidance or aversion type individual. Throw the grenade into the room and run off. Regardless of whether the person is shy or non-verbal or old or whatever, confrontation is difficult. The anonymous complaint (while possibly valid) is the easy way out.

Person to person involves risk, maybe rejection, possibly negative emotions and arguments. Anonymous (name removed by moderator)ut isn’t necessary invalid due to the delivery method. Face to face leads to meaningful dialogue, compromise, or at least an understand of how others feel.

I totally agree with.you. As for the other reply about never getting a response from the music director that is a case of not having humility. For a number of years I sang in a chorus and hated the arrogance of.people who thought that they were special just because they.possessed the gift of singing or playing an instrument and this is magnified when serving the church. Instead of being about giving your gift to the lord and the faithful with love and humility it becomes a case of diva(o) mentality. To be honest I can take or leave the music at mass. I appreciate it when its there but still feel fully engaged in the mass when its not. Communion is what is the center and what everyone should be focused on-not whose playing piano or strumming guitar or not quite hitting those high notes.

 

[z_0101]

I think Jen hit it spot on. My 40 years as a facilitator (BS clinical psychology and MS in counseling psychology) has me leaning towards a personal conflict avoidance or aversion type individual. Throw the grenade into the room and run off. Regardless of whether the person is shy or non-verbal or old or whatever, confrontation is difficult. The anonymous complaint (while possibly valid) is the easy way out.

Person to person involves risk, maybe rejection, possibly negative emotions and arguments. Anonymous (name removed by moderator)ut isn’t necessary invalid due to the delivery method. Face to face leads to meaningful dialogue, compromise, or at least an understand of how others feel.

and what My first post basically said before it was twisted with a pair of hot-tongs and a pitch-fork.

 

[marywarfield]

GASP! I’ve been fingered!!!

Actually, I’ve sent emails with my phone number to our musical director with compliments and suggestions. Needless to say, he never responds back. That’s almost as bothersome as the anonymous donation envelope complainer (in reverse). Even face to face, he does not want to discuss anything regarding his ministry. He’s stonewalling behind his progressive stance, me stuck with tradition. It is what it is.

I really wish my husband had gone the anonymous
donation envelope route. Instead he confronted the
choir director directly about the poor performance
of one of our cantors and one of our instrumentalists.
Only to find out we were the only ones who didn’t know
both were stone deaf and in choir for therapy.
Every time I see them I wish I was anonymous. Lol.

 

[jamessmith]

I really wish my husband had gone the anonymous
donation envelope route. Instead he confronted the
choir director directly about the poor performance
of one of our cantors and one of our instrumentalists.
Only to find out we were the only ones who didn’t know
both were stone deaf and in choir for therapy.
Every time I see them I wish I was anonymous. Lol.

I might get hated on for saying this, but I would respectfully hold that if one has a disability that does not allow them to complete their function well, perhaps they should serve the Lord in other ways. The sacred liturgy demands the highest quality of everything we give, and just as we don’t have priests wear shoddy vestments by people who can’t tailor well (even if it’s therapy), we shouldn’t be having sub-par musicianship if there is a better alternative.

 

[jmcrae]

I might get hated on for saying this, but I would respectfully hold that if one has a disability that does not allow them to complete their function well, perhaps they should serve the Lord in other ways. The sacred liturgy demands the highest quality of everything we give, and just as we don’t have priests wear shoddy vestments by people who can’t tailor well (even if it’s therapy), we shouldn’t be having sub-par musicianship if there is a better alternative.

I hope you don’t get “hated on” - that seems like common sense, to me.

 

[pianistclare]

Talking of choir directors who don’t want opinions…
I’m a lifelong Choir Director. Have always worked 2 job because the Music Director position pays so little I won’t even say here…
So, I’ve always also been the DRE.
At my present parish the former Choir Director was so arrogant, she never even cared to talk to me or ANYONE about Music…commiserate if you will, share sheet music, talk shop, nothing.
I remember once making a suggestion for the processional for the First Holy Communion Mass, and she vehemently told me " This is a MODERN, CONTEMPORARY parish. We don’t sing hymns from the hymnal here. And that’s the LAST WORD, it’s MY decision, not yours." I limped away. Ouch.
Here’s the kicker: Average age in the parish? 72.
Yeah, uh-huh.
She tried that with the new pastor too…she’s gone.