Complete and total meltdown of everything

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Last week I fell off the purity wagon and made a point of going to confession. I felt bad and berated myself for stumbling.

So here I am, two days after going to confession, and I didn’t so much stumble as jump off the wagon and do a swan dive right into the murk below, and it’s not just a one-time thing, it’s been all day, progressively. I’m sitting here thinking, “What is wrong with me,” because I haven’t been able to raise up enough brain cells to think about why what I’m doing is a sin. I know it is, I accept it, I know better and want to stop intellectually, and then I’m not! I don’t understand why I don’t feel ashamed of myself when I know I should (and I know shame is a good thing, it leads to humility).

It’s like I completely reverted back to the person I was before August, who just took things like masturbation in stride as “what we do,” along with porn and other things I’ve stayed away from.

I don’t even know why! I mean, last week I had a stimulis - I flipped through a “romance novel” that turned out to be pornography in a Harliquin jacket - but I can’t figure out what it is that’s over-riding my desire for purity today!

Everything (even things that shouldn’t be) has come off suggestive to me all day, until in frustration, I quit. It’s been this way since midnight. I mean right now I’m starting to finally feel indignent and upset, and a little embarassed (hey, it’s also a good thing and it’s one of the reasons I post to this board).

But why this whole fight all day long? Why is it such a stupid struggle, why shouldn’t I feel remorse, why don’t I feel more upset? I’m feeling upset now. Why not before I went off and plunged off the bridge?

And why plunge in the first place? What is it about us humans that makes us act so… stupid?!
 
I think St. Paul had a similar struggle. He never names what the thorn in his flesh is, but I have my suspicions that they were the same as yours.

If that doesn’t give you hope for a better future, what will? 🙂
 
St. Paul was also a lot stronger than I am.

Hence the reason I ran for my secret weapon - I fired up my Rhapsody (legal online music player/downloader) and played Gretchen Harris’ version of the Rosary, prayed that.

On the one hand, it’s a relief to no longer be apathetic, but now I’m feeling worried, upset and afraid. I mean, I danced right off the edge of the ship and did a swan dive! What the heck was wrong with me?

On the one hand, I’d like to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, because I believed Faustina when she talked about the graces Christ would pour forth, but on the other hand, I don’t want to seem presumptious, either.
 
You are just as strong as any saint. You just don’t realize it yet.😃
I advise you to pray with St. Paul. Maybe set aside significant amounts of time for this when you might otherwise be tempted. Try to avoid those situations all together if possible. Put your computer away throw out magazines. Maybe ask for advice during Confession. Just don’t lose hope, because there is nothing “wrong” with you.👍
 
You are just as strong as any saint. You just don’t realize it yet.😃
I advise you to pray with St. Paul. Maybe set aside significant amounts of time for this when you might otherwise be tempted. Try to avoid those situations all together if possible. Put your computer away throw out magazines. Maybe ask for advice during Confession. Just don’t lose hope, because there is nothing “wrong” with you.👍
I don’t feel strong. Why should I give in to temptation without feeling anything? I mean, darn it! And nothing should have spiked me because I’m staying away from porn and erotica and even suggestive writing. Or anyway, I’m trying to, but the weirdest things triggered my head!

Blah. So I’ll keep praying. Hopefully God won’t punt me into Hell for this, even though I deserve it for being totally self-centered and for not caring (until recently).
 
We’re all weak, we all have struggles, this area is one where so many of us struggle.

And yes, sometimes our sins are completely senseless - that’s part of the joy :rolleyes: of sin. And it’s part of the Devil’s bag of tricks that when he finds us immune to all his usual angles of attack he just tries blindsiding us.

Keep praying, keep confessing frequently. It does help in the long term.
 
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Seriously. Just turn to God right now and ask for His forgiveness. I’ve got this fantastic book by Hannah Whitall Smith, a Quaker, and I’m just going to paste a whole chunk of it in here–

"To instantly turn back to God is the great point here. Our sin is no reason for stopping to trust. It only proves that we must trust more fully than ever. Discouragement offers no remedy no matter what the cause of sin. As a child who is learning to walk might lie down in despair when he has fallen and refuse to take another step, so this believer, who is seeking to learn how to live and walk by faith, gives up in despair because of having fallen into sin. In either case, get right up and try again.

Confess Sin Immediately

“Up, sanctify the people” (Joshua 7: 13) is always God’s command . " Lie down and be discouraged is always our temptation. Our feeling is that it is presumptuous, and almost impertinent, to go at once to the Lord after having sinned against Him. It seems as if we first ought to suffer the consequences of our sin for a little while and endure the accusation of our conscience. We can hardly believe that the Lord can be willing at once to receive us back into loving fellowship with Him.

“A little girl once expressed this feeling to me, with a child’s honesty. She asked whether the Lord Jesus always forgave us for our sins as soon as we asked Him, and I said, “Yes, of course He does.” 'just as soon?” she repeated doubtingly. “Yes,” I replied, “the very minute we ask, He forgives us.” “Well,” she said deliberately, “I can’t believe that. I should think He would make us feel sorry for two or three days first. And then I should think He would make us ask Him a great many times, and in a very pretty way too, not just in common talk. And I believe that is the way He does, and you need not try to make me think He forgives me right at once, no matter what the Bible says.”

"She only said what most Christians think, and what is worse, what most Christians act on, making their discouragement and their remorse separate them further from God than their sin would have done. Yet it is so totally contrary to the way we like our own children to act toward us, that I wonder how we ever could have conceived such an idea about God. How a mother grieves when a naughty child goes off alone in remorse, and doubts her willingness to forgive. How her whole heart goes out in welcoming love to the repentant little one who runs to her at once and begs her forgiveness! Surely our God felt this yearning love when He said to us, “Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backsliding” (Jeremiah 3:22) .

"The same moment that we become aware of sin, we also ought to confess our sin and receive forgiveness. This is especially important to an unwavering walk in the “life hid with Christ in God,” for no separation from Him can be tolerated here for an instant.

"We can only walk this path by “Looking (continually) unto Jesus” (Hebrews 12:2), moment by moment. If our eyes turn away from Him to look upon our own sin and our weakness, we will leave the path at once. The believer who seeks the higher Christian life and finds himself overcome by sin, must flee with it instantly to the Lord. He must act on 1 John 1:9, “lf we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The believer must not hide his sin and seek to excuse it. Nor should he let time push it out of his memory. He must confess his sin and put it away from him. He must believe, then and there, that God is faithful and just to forgive him his sin, that He does do it, and further, that He also cleanses him from all unrighteousness. He must by faith claim an immediate forgiveness and an immediate cleansing, and must go on trusting harder and more absolutely than ever.

"As soon as Israel’s sin had been brought to light and put away, at once God’s word came again in a message of glorious encouragement: “Fear not, neither be thou dismayed…See, I have given into thy hand the king of Ai, and his people, and his city, and his land” (}Joshua 8:1). Our courage must rise higher than ever. We must abandon ourselves more completely to the Lord, that His mighty power may more perfectly work in us. Moreover, we must forget our sin as soon as it is confessed and forgiven. We must not dwell on it, and examine it, and indulge in distress and remorse. We must not put it on a pedestal and then walk around it and view it on every side, magnifying it into a mountain that hides God from our eyes. We must follow Paul’s example and, “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” we must “press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13,14). "

sorry for the huge post, but it just seemed so appropriate. I’m not Catholic, btw-- but I’m pretty sure the Catholic teaching is that God forgives you as soon as you repent, in anticipation of the sacrament of confession. Not sure about that teaching, but I think so. It is, after all, God who is the offended party, and He cares about where your heart is, right?

Just DON’T BE DISCOURAGED. “Though the righteous man fall seven times, he will rise again.” Prov. 24.16

Susannah
 
One more scripture-- cause yeah, the last post wasn’t wordy enough-- “Where sin abounded, grace abounded more.” Romans 5:20
 
Tabsie… I did the same thing after being clean for over 4 months. With me, it has been a lifelong habit that was born during a childhood spent in an alcoholic home. I used it to sort of “reset” my emotions long before I knew anything about “purity”.

I would suspect that the majority of us here are (or have been) involved in this to one degree or another. I would consider it an addictive habit in the vast majority of cases. Actually most secular human psychologists will admit that this is normal human activity. It’s simply part of our (fallen) nature. God knows that we aren’t proud of this.

Even though this is an ingrained addictive behavior, and therefore probably considered venial sin it still should be brought up in confession.

Isn’t it odd that this “M” thing is like a coil spring? The longer you put it off, the worse the relapse when it finally let’s loose. This is typical of all addictive behaviors.

We were doing so good… weren’t we Tabsie?

You hang in there and don’t beat yourself up over this. Practice being extra generous and kind to others while you are working through this little battle… even if it takes a lifetime. God understands!

Bless You. ~hugs~
:cool:
 
Hi tabsie, you may also be paying too much attention to your feelings of not being strong and you’re concentrating too hard on what’s wrong. You’re a bit like the guy who runs off the road on a bend and hits the only tree for 20 miles around; he’s concentrating so HARD on missing it, he runs right into it! Instead of concentrating so hard on what you’re trying to AVOID, try directing your feelings and thoughts to where you want TO BE right now and in the future. Concentrate on those things you value and lead you towards your goals as opposed to focussing on the wrongness you feel.

I have been where you are; both with alcohol and pornography.

Pray the Rosary.

God Bless.
 
Hi tabsie, you may also be paying too much attention to your feelings of not being strong and you’re concentrating too hard on what’s wrong. You’re a bit like the guy who runs off the road on a bend and hits the only tree for 20 miles around; he’s concentrating so HARD on missing it, he runs right into it! Instead of concentrating so hard on what you’re trying to AVOID, try directing your feelings and thoughts to where you want TO BE right now and in the future. Concentrate on those things you value and lead you towards your goals as opposed to focussing on the wrongness you feel.

I have been where you are; both with alcohol and pornography.

Pray the Rosary.

God Bless.
Bless you. The Rosary is the best weapon we have and the thing that I need to hold on to when I can’t hold on to anything else. The ONLY good thing I had going for me is that at least I have the ability to recognize why what I do is wrong and to feel remorse…

You know, it’s actually the fact that I didn’t feel anything negative that upset me so much. Falling off the horse is one thing, but falling off and not caring, that’s just… wonky.

I’m not saying I should be eaten by guilt for every single thing I do, but I should at least feel remorse when I know I want to do something bad and avoid doing it. Instead, I felt… I don’t know. Frozen inside? Like I could sit there and have an intellectual argument with myself about what’s going on and yet not listen, or care, or anything.

Like some of my emotions turned off. Very peculiar and very disconcerting. I’d rather admit that I have sinful tendencies so that I can honestly ask for forgiveness than to simply go through the motions because I’m “supposed to.”
 
Last week I fell off the purity wagon and made a point of going to confession. I felt bad and berated myself for stumbling.

So here I am, two days after going to confession, and I didn’t so much stumble as jump off the wagon and do a swan dive right into the murk below, and it’s not just a one-time thing, it’s been all day, progressively. I’m sitting here thinking, “What is wrong with me,” because I haven’t been able to raise up enough brain cells to think about why what I’m doing is a sin. I know it is, I accept it, I know better and want to stop intellectually, and then I’m not! I don’t understand why I don’t feel ashamed of myself when I know I should (and I know shame is a good thing, it leads to humility).

It’s like I completely reverted back to the person I was before August, who just took things like masturbation in stride as “what we do,” along with porn and other things I’ve stayed away from.

I don’t even know why! I mean, last week I had a stimulis - I flipped through a “romance novel” that turned out to be pornography in a Harliquin jacket - but I can’t figure out what it is that’s over-riding my desire for purity today!

Everything (even things that shouldn’t be) has come off suggestive to me all day, until in frustration, I quit. It’s been this way since midnight. I mean right now I’m starting to finally feel indignent and upset, and a little embarassed (hey, it’s also a good thing and it’s one of the reasons I post to this board).

But why this whole fight all day long? Why is it such a stupid struggle, why shouldn’t I feel remorse, why don’t I feel more upset? I’m feeling upset now. Why not before I went off and plunged off the bridge?

And why plunge in the first place? What is it about us humans that makes us act so… stupid?!
From what I see the devil has got you in his grip. Instead of tormenting you with guilt, you’re tormented with a lack of guilt. You’re beating yourself up for hating yourself for lack of self-control. He wants you to dwell in your guilt. And if I remember you once told me that I shouldn’t hate myself for my mistakes. We must work on doing better in the future.

The trigger for me in my temptations with yaoi and other forms of erotica is not really the stimulus right before my eyes, but rather my memories of what I’ve already seen. Seeing and reading about it bothers me a little, but thinking about it still has almost no effect on me as far as regret.
Plus I think the longer we stay chaste, the harder it is to stay chaste in the sex filled society we live in. I can’t really give much advise since I’ve been trying to keep chast for only 2 months. And I’m pretty sure I’ll stumble somewhere in the future. 7 years of being addicted to yaoi just doesn’t up and dissappear on me.
The way I see it I try not to get rid of my addictions, but rather replace them with something better. My writings…well I haven’t sorted out that one out yet. But I’m working on replacing my yaoi sketches. I’ve been wanting to replicate the likeness of the Blessed Virgin for a while now.
 
Tabsie.
its not about how we feel but about what we know.
When you sin continuously your heart becomes hardened and you dont feel remorse so much anymore about the things you used to feel really bad about. This is just a fact… probably also because we cannot cope with unceasing feeling of shame as human beings.
Lets look at the root of the problem instead of despairing.
You are a very passionate person which is probably one reason why you struggle more than some. But we dont wanna change that. Passion is great… just needs some good channels.
I think your problem with this sin is that you have too much time on your hands. You sit all day there and struggle with your self…
Last year I was a student and did not do much really… at that time I used to suffer alot from flashbacks from a sin I comitted in the past… it was kind of *in my flesh *and although I did not act on the sensations that came with the flash backs I felt I died of shame every time.
The flash backs stopped when I, after the school year had ended, got a 7-14 job that really took alot of energy physically. I mentally got very far in healing over a couple of month… actually healed totally from these thoughts I had been struggling with for a year.
During the day I was busy. In my free time I felt better about my self and when I went to bed I was too tired to think…
Maybe you can become active somehow… ?

Dont despair dear sister in Jesus. We are all sinners… we gotta stick together.
A friend of mine defined sin as “missing the mark”.
We all cheer for you… not because you are on the path to hell but because you are worth something much more beautiful and better than that poor act.
You are a princess. The devil likes to see us sons and daughters of the Most High in the gutter.
Get back up on the horse and dont let the that evil old devil laugh at you Tabsie.

Grace.
 
Tabsie.
its not about how we feel but about what we know.
When you sin continuously your heart becomes hardened and you dont feel remorse so much anymore about the things you used to feel really bad about. This is just a fact… probably also because we cannot cope with unceasing feeling of shame as human beings.
Lets look at the root of the problem instead of despairing.
You are a very passionate person which is probably one reason why you struggle more than some. But we dont wanna change that. Passion is great… just needs some good channels.
I think your problem with this sin is that you have too much time on your hands. You sit all day there and struggle with your self…
Last year I was a student and did not do much really… at that time I used to suffer alot from flashbacks from a sin I comitted in the past… it was kind of *in my flesh *and although I did not act on the sensations that came with the flash backs I felt I died of shame every time.
The flash backs stopped when I, after the school year had ended, got a 7-14 job that really took alot of energy physically. I mentally got very far in healing over a couple of month… actually healed totally from these thoughts I had been struggling with for a year.
During the day I was busy. In my free time I felt better about my self and when I went to bed I was too tired to think…
Maybe you can become active somehow… ?

Dont despair dear sister in Jesus. We are all sinners… we gotta stick together.
A friend of mine defined sin as “missing the mark”.
We all cheer for you… not because you are on the path to hell but because you are worth something much more beautiful and better than that poor act.
You are a princess. The devil likes to see us sons and daughters of the Most High in the gutter.
Get back up on the horse and dont let the that evil old devil laugh at you Tabsie.

Grace.
Grace, you have a way with words, and I hadn’t thought about it from that angle before. I guess the best thing would be to start organizing my time better. I always feel off-kilter, because time is something I lose track of so easily. Another thing, I think I need to get out of the house more, but I haven’t got a clue what to do with myself. I’m off on Sundays and Mondays - Sundays is church and spending time with family and friends, but Mondays, everyone else is at work except me, and my Dad is home. He’s told me that I don’t have to hang around all the time for him but I also knows he worries when I go out - I was once about twenty minutes late coming home from work because I had to stop for gas and there was some traffic, and he told me first thing when I walked in that he’d been getting concerned and I should have called them.

I’ve got what Jeff Foxworthy referred to as “call me when you get there” parents. Even though I’m 31 (going on 32). I sometimes feel like I’m doing something wrong if I want to go out for a while, and my dad freaked the one time I went on a date with someone I met over the 'net. I never feel like I’m okay to do things, and I feel “stuck” a lot of the time. My Mom suffers the worst because she has to be at his beck and call and he doesn’t let her sleep enough (he has frequent freak-outs at night).

I love him, though. It’s not his issue, it’s mine, in that I should be more independent but I’m afraid of losing his love, which is probably why I have trouble relating to God like I should. I love God, I’m just nervous trying to interact with Him, because I always feel like, “What am I doing? Am I doing something wrong? If I moved out, would God hate me for abandoning my parents? Would Dad stop talking to me?”

So I guess that contributes to my concerns. Blah. Don’t take this the wrong way - Dad has nothing to do with why I sin, I’m just contemplating what’s going on inside my head and why I’m inclined to both sin and a lack of feeling.
 
Grace, you have a way with words, and I hadn’t thought about it from that angle before. I guess the best thing would be to start organizing my time better. I always feel off-kilter, because time is something I lose track of so easily. Another thing, I think I need to get out of the house more, but I haven’t got a clue what to do with myself. I’m off on Sundays and Mondays - Sundays is church and spending time with family and friends, but Mondays, everyone else is at work except me, and my Dad is home. He’s told me that I don’t have to hang around all the time for him but I also knows he worries when I go out - I was once about twenty minutes late coming home from work because I had to stop for gas and there was some traffic, and he told me first thing when I walked in that he’d been getting concerned and I should have called them.

I’ve got what Jeff Foxworthy referred to as “call me when you get there” parents. Even though I’m 31 (going on 32). I sometimes feel like I’m doing something wrong if I want to go out for a while, and my dad freaked the one time I went on a date with someone I met over the 'net. I never feel like I’m okay to do things, and I feel “stuck” a lot of the time. My Mom suffers the worst because she has to be at his beck and call and he doesn’t let her sleep enough (he has frequent freak-outs at night).

I love him, though. It’s not his issue, it’s mine, in that I should be more independent but I’m afraid of losing his love, which is probably why I have trouble relating to God like I should. I love God, I’m just nervous trying to interact with Him, because I always feel like, “What am I doing? Am I doing something wrong? If I moved out, would God hate me for abandoning my parents? Would Dad stop talking to me?”

So I guess that contributes to my concerns. Blah. Don’t take this the wrong way - Dad has nothing to do with why I sin, I’m just contemplating what’s going on inside my head and why I’m inclined to both sin and a lack of feeling.
Thanks Tabitha… Thats such a beautiful Biblical name… I never knew it had been hijacked by some others…
I’d love to have such a name.
I like your compliment that I have a way with words. That means a lot to me. I hope one day to do something with that gift for real…
Tab… I think you have let your parents become too dependant on you. I mean… what you are doing is really awesome and saintly … (I have a dear dear friend who is like that too but I think it would kill his eventual marriage… I love him…:confused: but thats another sad story). What I am saying is… you are smart and have a beautiful soul. You are only 31 so you still have time to find a good man and get married and have children.
I think you should consider moving out of your parents house. It does not mean moving far away. Maybe just a few blocks… at least staying in the same city and maybe seeking for a helper for your family. The social authorities might be financially able to help you out by paying a helper who can take care of your dad most of the time, since he is disabled. USA is not a third world country and you should not be forced to take this huge responsibility on you. I dont know about the system there very well though. I am European.
But I think your problem with masturbation might have something to do with loneliness and being left to much to your self and your own thoughts.
You are a woman in your best years, full of life and longing to meet people and give your self and your love for God and maybe in a family.
I dont mean to worry you but sins like you describe thrive in solitude and restlessness…
Its just an advice Tab… maybe you can use it and maybe not…
Dont let your father make you feel guilty. Its your own fault if you dont break free from this… you recognize what it is.

I am staying with my parents for a month now and then I will move to another city and start working. I will take that next step also because my idleness does not serve my mental or physical well being. I eat too much, think too much of my exboyfriend and fall into bad patterns of behaviour in the long run.

God loves you Tabsie.
We all just want you to do well and be happy.
Grace 👍
 
Hello my friend,

Sexual addiction is often a type of self medication. The victim narcotizes themselves with sex to doctor up the pain. So, what pain is that? Low self esteem, relationship problems, abuse, you name it.

Especially pornography and masturbation. It just works. Can I get a witness?

It is true that the addiction can, after a time be physical as well as an emotional fix. What is the cause? That is your first job. What is the wound or wounds that you are trying to heal. Dont focus on the symptom, search out the cause.

There is a lot of good work out there on the internet. Study the problem. Learn about it. Discover the mechanism that triggers the need to escape.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your only human. This is your cross for now. If and when you fall, get back up. Dust yourself off and get back into the fight. Use the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Walk out of the confessional, put your shoulders back and start the battle fresh.
 
I, too, went through the same struggles you are mentioning here. Keep going to confession! I would sometimes go to confession multiple times in a week. I was actually, many times, embarrassed to see the priest, again, and again, and again.

Some say to avoid the guilt, but for me, the guilt became so much stronger the more I went to confession. That was the cure for me.

I, too, went for a long time and then fell again. The devil torments us in this way. St. Thomas even said that demons can manipulate our imaginations, so as to bring images to our minds to encourage the sin and he loves to make us more animal than rational.

I, too, was apathetic at one point about it. I used to reason to myself, fighting the inner battle of St. Paul, saying “Well, men have nocturnal emissions, so therefore it’s okay for me to do this.” I would plead with God, “Why have you made this drive so strong if it is wrong to release the tension?” (The answer was the Fall, incidentally.) I wanted to feel guilty, but couldn’t. Eventually, after going to confession many times, as I said, the guilt became overwhelming to the point where the guilt outweighed the pleasurable feelings. Grace abounded though. For me, it has now been years, and I am rarely tempted anymore. It’s like God put up a road block, and the devil chose to turn around and leave me alone.

Go to confession…confess even your sensual thoughts…honestly lay it all out there, and I promise that God will heal you of this in His time. He did it for me with pornography, masturbation, and alcohol. So my answer is, simply confession. It works.
 
You’re a beautiful person, Grace. I recognize that all my faults are my own, nobody else is to blame for my issues. I never want it to be said that I blamed my father for what is my own choice, because he loves me dearly and I love him very much.

Thank you. You’re really cool. I love your writing, because it’s profound. Full of inspiration. You’re really a lifeline to what I needed to hear. You should always take pride in that talent of yours.

You also have a talent for making people feel better and for making people want to trust in the Lord. You’re the kind of person who inspires other people to be the best they can be. I’m glad you took the time to respond to my post. You’re sweetness really helps me out a lot.
 
I think it’s important to realize that perfection in sexual purity is extremely difficult for anyone to achieve, especially for the single person and in fact may never be attainable in this life. The human reproductive system is hormone driven, extremely complex and not designed for celibacy. There is absolutely no use in torturing yourself with feelings of failure, worthlessness and guilt. Doing this often leads to shame spirals that drives us into full blown relapse. This is how addictions are born.

There is a big difference between giving in to a little self relief in the privacy of your own bedroom and the young lady who frequents the clubs and goes home with several different men each week due to her longing for intimacy and or excitement. The same can be said for men. Yes, masturbation is a sin, but an occasional “wank” in the morning is simply NOT the same as going to strip clubs, visiting prostitutes and viewing hours upon hours of disgusting online porn.

That being said, simply say your prayers every day and do the best you can. If you can achieve sexual purity then great! But when you fall, remember to just pick yourself back up, confess it and keep moving on your faith journey. Simply put…Control what you can… and for heaven’s sake.

Give yourself a break. You are human.

😉
 
All well written. Down there where the rubber hits the road.
I think it’s important to realize that perfection in sexual purity is extremely difficult for anyone to achieve, especially for the single person and in fact may never be attainable in this life. The human reproductive system is hormone driven, extremely complex and not designed for celibacy.
A cruel fact.
There is a big difference between giving in to a little self relief in the privacy of your own bedroom and the young lady who frequents the clubs and goes home with several different men each week due to her longing for intimacy and or excitement.
Yes there is. The other can also lead to violence and disease.
That being said, simply say your prayers every day and do the best you can. If you can achieve sexual purity then great! But when you fall, remember to just pick yourself back up, confess it and keep moving on your faith journey. Simply put…Control what you can… and for heaven’s sake.

Give yourself a break. You are human.

😉
One day at a time.
 
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