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duskyjewel
Guest
Dear God…my SIL has gone completely off the deep end. My brother’s family is not Catholic, they go to some kind of evangelical church. One of those non-denominational places. But considering where my brother was before, I was just happy he found someplace where he felt included and good and could reach toward God. It seemed his wife led him there, and we were all happy for them, that they had found a spiritual home.
In the last few weeks, my brother’s marriage has completely fallen apart. I knew they had some issues, and were seeking counseling through their church. But, my SIL made it out to be all my brother, and unfortunately, I believed a lot of it because of how my brother has been in the past. I didn’t want to hear the stuff she told me, but I thought if I let her vent, sympathized, and kept it private, then perhaps I could be like a pressure valve that helped keep their marriage together. I wanted to do that for their kids, and I never passed on anything she told me. Thank God I at least had that much wisdom…
At first, SIL made it out that my brother walked out on her. Come to find out later she threw him out. I talked to her right after he “left” and made it clear that neither of them should date and they should both concentrate on making this as easy on the kids as they can. I even e-mailed my brother and basically chewed him out. Well, come to find out my brother has learned a lot more about Christian forgiveness and forbearance than I gave him credit for, because instead of telling me to buzz off, he explained a few things to me and called me to talk about it. I thanked him for not just dismissing me and never talking to me again.
He said he was getting a lot of what I gave him, because SIL was telling everybody the same untrue stuff. Her own parents had to apologize to my brother because they chewed him out too and then caught her lying.
Well, come to find out that less than a week after my brother “left” she brought home some guy from a club. She had him over all the time. My brother’s oldest, who is only 7, caught her mother making out on the couch with this guy and is very confused and upset. The kids keep asking my brother questions like, why is that man sleeping with Mommy? She admitted to my brother that she is having sex with at least one guy. He told me she may have had others over too.
He wore out his welcome at his friend’s house, and decided he was not going to be homeless because his wife decided she needed to regress. He was also very worried about these guys, who no one knows anything about, being in the house with his children. (two beautiful daughters and a sweet little boy…all vulnerable!) So he went home. I guess he was sleeping on the couch. But anyway, I guess this made SIL very angry because it was cramping her ability to be with her boyfriend(s). She called the cops and wanted him thrown out, but they told her he is on the mortgage and he is paying it, so he legally lives there and they can’t just throw him out of his own house. That made her really angry, so she called 911 and said he was beating her up. So here is my brother, sitting on his own couch, when cops pull up code 3 and kick in his door. He was like, whoa, what’s going on guys? She admitted that he hadn’t hit her, but unfortunately they didn’t charge her. They did, however, thankfully, file a report stating it was a false claim. That is VERY important, because my brother is a DOC officer (prison guard). Any report of domestic abuse could cost him his career, and she knew that when she called.
Well, so my brother decided that was it, he cannot fight for this marriage any more. There is nothing left there. Yesterday they went to court for the first time. My brother told the judge everything from the past three or so weeks, including how she wouldn’t let him see the kids for over two solid weeks, and how she took the money he gave her and didn’t pay the mortgage or the bills, but went shopping and to clubs. The mortgage is now in arrears and my brother doesn’t know how he is going to pay it this month. I have no money to help him…
She tried to lie about what happened with the cops, but the judge had a computer right there on his desk, and looked up the report. He saw that she was lying, and based on that and the weight of everything my brother said, which she did not or could not refute, kicked her out of the house. My brother said that even after weeks of him and her parents trying to warn her that her behavior was going to cost her alot, she was still stunned and broke down in court.
In the last few weeks, my brother’s marriage has completely fallen apart. I knew they had some issues, and were seeking counseling through their church. But, my SIL made it out to be all my brother, and unfortunately, I believed a lot of it because of how my brother has been in the past. I didn’t want to hear the stuff she told me, but I thought if I let her vent, sympathized, and kept it private, then perhaps I could be like a pressure valve that helped keep their marriage together. I wanted to do that for their kids, and I never passed on anything she told me. Thank God I at least had that much wisdom…
At first, SIL made it out that my brother walked out on her. Come to find out later she threw him out. I talked to her right after he “left” and made it clear that neither of them should date and they should both concentrate on making this as easy on the kids as they can. I even e-mailed my brother and basically chewed him out. Well, come to find out my brother has learned a lot more about Christian forgiveness and forbearance than I gave him credit for, because instead of telling me to buzz off, he explained a few things to me and called me to talk about it. I thanked him for not just dismissing me and never talking to me again.
He said he was getting a lot of what I gave him, because SIL was telling everybody the same untrue stuff. Her own parents had to apologize to my brother because they chewed him out too and then caught her lying.
Well, come to find out that less than a week after my brother “left” she brought home some guy from a club. She had him over all the time. My brother’s oldest, who is only 7, caught her mother making out on the couch with this guy and is very confused and upset. The kids keep asking my brother questions like, why is that man sleeping with Mommy? She admitted to my brother that she is having sex with at least one guy. He told me she may have had others over too.
He wore out his welcome at his friend’s house, and decided he was not going to be homeless because his wife decided she needed to regress. He was also very worried about these guys, who no one knows anything about, being in the house with his children. (two beautiful daughters and a sweet little boy…all vulnerable!) So he went home. I guess he was sleeping on the couch. But anyway, I guess this made SIL very angry because it was cramping her ability to be with her boyfriend(s). She called the cops and wanted him thrown out, but they told her he is on the mortgage and he is paying it, so he legally lives there and they can’t just throw him out of his own house. That made her really angry, so she called 911 and said he was beating her up. So here is my brother, sitting on his own couch, when cops pull up code 3 and kick in his door. He was like, whoa, what’s going on guys? She admitted that he hadn’t hit her, but unfortunately they didn’t charge her. They did, however, thankfully, file a report stating it was a false claim. That is VERY important, because my brother is a DOC officer (prison guard). Any report of domestic abuse could cost him his career, and she knew that when she called.
Well, so my brother decided that was it, he cannot fight for this marriage any more. There is nothing left there. Yesterday they went to court for the first time. My brother told the judge everything from the past three or so weeks, including how she wouldn’t let him see the kids for over two solid weeks, and how she took the money he gave her and didn’t pay the mortgage or the bills, but went shopping and to clubs. The mortgage is now in arrears and my brother doesn’t know how he is going to pay it this month. I have no money to help him…
She tried to lie about what happened with the cops, but the judge had a computer right there on his desk, and looked up the report. He saw that she was lying, and based on that and the weight of everything my brother said, which she did not or could not refute, kicked her out of the house. My brother said that even after weeks of him and her parents trying to warn her that her behavior was going to cost her alot, she was still stunned and broke down in court.