"completing the Act"

[YinYangMom]

CuriousInIL:

Is it then also sinful if, once begun, intercourse ceases without male climax?

If despite all efforts it just physically doesn’t happen, then it can’t be sinful because it isn’t a deliberate conscious act. The desire and will to climax was there but ‘something’ just didn’t click…maybe stress, tiredness, the onset of a cold…who knows.

But when the will is to deliberately repress climax then that would be sinful.

 

[YinYangMom]

St.Eric:

So conivince me that using NFP with the “intent” of not concieving is not sinful as well. The phrase, “using NFP to space out children”, is the same as “using NFP so we can have sex wihtout concieving.” The intent is to engage in the marital embrace without creating life.

The difference between engaging in the act but withdrawing early, climaxing without ejaculating, or suppressing climax all together is that you’re deceiving God and yourselves. You are trying to have your cake and eat it too (kind of like a bulemic).

If you and your spouse have properly discerned you cannot entertain the concept of another child within the next XX months or years, then the two of you should be able to live out that decision. Sex is not about releasing our desires for the flesh, it is about uniting a couple and remaining open to life.

What is the big deal about abstaining 9 days of each month?
I would think the early withdrawl, suppressed climax and climaxing without ejaculation would be far more frustrating and annoying than refraining.

If you’re ‘in the mood’ but the timing isn’t right then as a couple you find other things to do together to redirect your attention. Tell each other how much you desire to have sex tonight but reaffirm that you value the marriage you two have so much that you lovingly are willing to wait a couple of days to act on that desire. It’s a matter of respect for the spouse, for the marriage and for the family.

 

[YinYangMom]

CuriousInIL:

I may be hopelessly hijacking this thread, but what about a situation in which the intention is to have the male climax during intercourse but where the reality is that the couple knows from past attempts that the likelihood of that happening is very very low–say 1 in 100. In such a case, is even trying sinful? They know that it is very likely that there will be no male climax.

If the intention is to have male climax then the attempt is not sinful.
Infertile couples are still encouraged to continue marital relations because only God knows if/when conception will happen. Not trying is giving up all together, on each other, and on God.

Besides, the situation you describe sounds medical or psychological and the couple would be somewhat obliged to seek treatment.

 

[YinYangMom]

1ke:

You do not engage in the act and distort it. You respect the act and refrain from it.

Very well said.

 

[St.Eric]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, comments, opinions, etc. on this issue. It has been very helpful. I saw my priest today and talked with him for about 45 minutes during confessioin. He gave me some good advice. I am going to take his message and move forward and trust in him. I prayed in front of the tabernacle in our cathedral, prior to confession, that God would not lead his minister astray and that the advice and counsel I receive be the way to go, no questions asked. So, I am going to have faith that I received the right answers to my questions today and go from there. ( Iam am also working on a scrupuls issue). Thanks again everyone! God Bless!