Complimenting women

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Okay so this may be kind of a weird question, but I really need a good Catholic perspective on this. Is it good for young men to compliment a woman on her appearance? Is that a good and virtuous thing for Catholic men to do? And of course, I am talking about appropriate compliments. Thank you all so much!
 
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Sure, but if you want to really stand out compliment her on things she can control, like her shoes!
 
Yes, with one reservation:

Never compliment one woman in front of another woman! It’s unkind to the one you don’t compliment!
 
Yes. You will instantly make her day 100% better, especially since a lot of women feel so invisible.
 
I would say yes but not in the workplace. And I’m not not just talking about inappropriate comments. Until we figure out all the new rules be careful.
 
In todays day and age, with the MeToo movement at it’s height, it’s a horrible idea to compliment a woman on her appearance.
 
Workplace comps are hard.
I will compliment women who i am friendly with and are essentially my own “rank” but not women who are essentially of a lower rank due to the possible perception that I have some power over them or are hitting on them.
 
Zach said:
I would say yes but not in the workplace.
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I learned from working in a U.S. government agency (and this was back in the '90s) to never touch a woman except for the initial handshake, and to never say anything, good, bad, or indifferent, about a woman’s appearance at any time and in any context. There is safety in silence.

D
 
Zach said:
Until we figure out all the new rules be careful.
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The new rules are the same as the old rules. It’s just that men used to be able to break the rules with impunity.
OKComputer said:
In todays day and age, with the MeToo movement at it’s height, it’s a horrible idea to compliment a woman on her appearance.
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If you know how to compliment a woman without saying anything inappropriate, you’ll be fine.
 
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Well the problem is who is going to decide what is appropriate. Again my advice is to be very careful in the workplace.
 
Thank you all so much for your answers! We must all be aware that it doesn’t matter if the social norm is complimenting a woman or not, shouldn’t we be worried on whether or not it is the natural and virtuous thing to do?
 
It is a natural and virtuous thing to do. Unfortunately with stupid political correctness, and some people seeing microagressions where they don’t exist as OkComputer implied, you might reconsider that it does matter a little bit, at least if you want a career, what the social “norm” is too.
 
Speaking as a woman, I have no problem with compliments as long as they are not creepy.

There is no virtue or moral issue with appropriate comments. 🙂

I like the compliment the shoes idea.
 
I’ll occasionally compliment women much older than me or I might tell a student that she’s wearing pretty shoes or a shirt or whatever.

I don’t compliment women anywhere roughly in my age bracket just because I don’t want it backfiring if they misinterpret and start to flirt. Last time was pretty uncomfortable and awkward and I was trapped in the same building as her.
 
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There is an ancient rule: “When in Rome, do what the Romans do”.

Society - or parts of it, have gone bat guano crazy, finding an insult in almost anything,. Even the most “woke” individual may find themselves violating the rules, as certain segments of society are making and changing the rules on the fly.

The best way to get along is to be neutral - no comment or compliment to anyone. At work, one is employed to produce something in exchange for a salary; and that is one’s purpose there. It is not chit chat with other employees above, below or on equal ranking (which, in some circumstances seems not to exist).

There are areas (still!) in the US where civility and friendliness is acceptable. They are generally not in big metropolitan areas. Depending on your location, and the people who surround you, you can adjust your responses (e.g. at church, you are more likely to find people who are not walking around with a chip on their shoulder).

But at work, you are not there to make friends; get there on time, do your work well, then leave. Comments which are work related should be the rule.
 
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Sorry in advance for what I’m about to say. No disrespect is meant to anyone.

I respectfully do not think a man should compliment a woman’s shoes, makeup, nails, purse, or anything similar (and particularly more than 1 of these) as the women will likely assume he’s gay.
 
VonDerTann said:
I respectfully do not think a man should compliment a woman’s shoes, makeup, nails, purse, or anything similar (and particularly more than 1 of these) as the women will likely assume he’s gay.
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Or hitting on her. either way, you are seen as something other than friendly.
 
I went on a date once to a formal function. A coworker of mine told my date “your heels are sexy.”

She cursed him out and called him a pervert (no joke).

He deserved it IMHO.

Don’t be that guy.
 
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