Compulsive / Obsessive Vowing

[tvdxer]

I suffer from a problem I will from here call obsessive vowing. I understand that Catholic can make private vows, and that such deliberation and free will required for these vows is that required to sign an important contract or to commit mortal sin.

I struggle with problems of conscience, etc. and recently I have been worrying that a lot of my actions were vows. For example, I might think that if I click on a Facebook picture I am making a vow to do (x) if I fail in (x); I will think it, but sometimes I click before I can fully say that I do NOT intend to make a vow (as is my habitual intention).

Recently my “conscience” has been accusing me of temerarity (rashness) or pride in something that I will bring up with my confessor the next time I see him. I wish to assent to all that the church requires me to, but my “conscience” tells me I have to assent to this also, even though I do not know if the teaching (in a moral theology manual) was stated as certain and whether it is still theologically certain, if it stated so, as later writers have seemed to contradict it or lessen it, although I still do not fully understand the issue itself and all of its ramifications yet, so I will be heading to the confessional at the next convenient time to discuss this with my confessor.

Anyway, I was bothered in my mind to make a vow, while reading a completely unrelated book. Apparently, shifting my foot was supposed to be the vow to not (x) if I am indeed committing the sin of rashness. I think I naturally put my foot in that position, not willing the vow, but was suddenly struck with an uneasiness over whether I made the vow or not (keep in mind that I am still reading). Then I am distracted over reading further and I make / remember a mental voice (in a sort of snarly tone) saying “That’s okay” as an affirmative statement to the matter of the vow, given what I perceive as my moral certainty of conscience, and then suddenly I say “No!” in case I really am not certain but rather have a false conscience.

Is my vow valid? The “that’s okay” was rather impulsive and a catty response to my disturbance of conscience, and followed up immediately by a “No!”. Are any of these “vows” valid?

 

[Hokomai]

I hope you are in contact with a physician. These things often can be helped by appropriate and simple therapy.

 

[JRKH]

From what I can understand from you have written…none of these “vows” are valid…
For instance you cannot make a “vow” by moving your foot or clicking on a facebook picture.

Peace
James

 

[Bookcat]

Yes you need to see your regular confessor. He can direct you.

A private vow is a rather deliberate thing. Sort of like one cannot get married just willy nilly.

Also discuss with him regarding mistaking your fears etc for a “morally certain conscience”.

Conscience involves a “judgement of reason”…

(I would perhaps suggest you not reading the older works of moral theology in your current difficulties -rather look to the Compendium of the Catechism etc and to your confessor…)

I saved this site that I saw some time back- to offer to those with various struggles: catholictherapists.com/

 

[Layp3rs0n]

Ah gee, my heart goes out to you. Scrupulousity is a killer. I have been there. I used to wonder if when like, I took a swig of coffee, and I for an instant thought, “What if this coffee were the cup of sin with satan in an unholy communion?” And I would feel terrible for swallowing that coffee wondering if SOMEWHERE in my subconciece mind I WANTED it to be that. It gets ridiculous. But people who don’t suffer from this, like you do and I used to, have trouble understanding. Schedule an appointment (not Confession, though you could Confess at the appointment if you gave anything legit to confess), with your priest. Have a good serious discussion with him. And listen! Your mind, I know, is gonna go, “Yeah, but what if…?” No, listen. And I would seek psychiatric help as well. God bless you!