Concerned about daughter and her husband

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concerneddad

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My daughter is 28, her husband is 34. I could not ask for a better son-in-law and father to my two beautiful grandchildren. We raised our daughter in the Catholic faith. She attended Catholic school since she was 4 and attended mass every week with the family. Her husband was also raised Catholic but stopped attending mass when he turned 18.

They were married in the Catholic church and had both children baptized in the church, but now they attend a non-denominational church. I told her that if she didn’t like the church in our city, that to try another one but not to leave the Catholic church.

I’ve talked to co-workers, family, and friends about this and they all tell me that I’m overreacting. They said I should be happy that they are attending church and trying to teach each other and their children about God and the bible, but to me, it’s not right!

I also know that she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions, but I can’t help but to feel upset about this.

Any suggestions? What can I do?
 
concerneddad said:
They were married in the Catholic church and had both children baptized in the church, but now they attend a non-denominational church. I told her that if she didn’t like the church in our city, that to try another one but not to leave the Catholic church.
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You’ve said what you did, what did she say or do when you “told” her not to leave the Catholic church?
 
Pray!..asking for the intercession of one of the Saints who dealt with this problem (i.e. St. Monica, St. Helena)
 
SamH said:
You’ve said what you did, what did she say or do when you “told” her not to leave the Catholic church?
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He SHOULD tell his daughter not to leave the church , whether she listens or not is a different story.

Concerned dad, good for you! Though my children are small, I would have no problem telling them what I feel about their choices once they are grown. Too many parents turn a blind eye and accept their children’s bad decisions. Have a good heart to heart talk with her…then pray, pray and pray. Oh, and give her a green vascular.👍
 
Just pray for her. That’s all you can do, after telling her what’s right and wrong. Just pray. People are going to do whatever they want to do no matter how much you plead, beg, and weep. People just don’t care about anything but themselves. People hate the truth, because it makes demands upon them to restructure their lives, behavior, and character. I’ve pleaded, begged, and wept for so many in my day, to no avail. So now I just tell people the truth ONCE, and then I pray for them everyday.Only God can change a heart.
 
concerneddad said:
My daughter is 28, her husband is 34. I could not ask for a better son-in-law and father to my two beautiful grandchildren. We raised our daughter in the Catholic faith. She attended Catholic school since she was 4 and attended mass every week with the family. Her husband was also raised Catholic but stopped attending mass when he turned 18.

They were married in the Catholic church and had both children baptized in the church, but now they attend a non-denominational church. I told her that if she didn’t like the church in our city, that to try another one but not to leave the Catholic church.

I’ve talked to co-workers, family, and friends about this and they all tell me that I’m overreacting. They said I should be happy that they are attending church and trying to teach each other and their children about God and the bible, but to me, it’s not right!

I also know that she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions, but I can’t help but to feel upset about this.

Any suggestions? What can I do?
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If it were me, I would gently remind both my daughter and her husband that they are sinning by not attending Mass every Sunday, and also putting their childrens’ souls at risk by not continuing with their Catholic catechism and sacraments. I would avoid getting too preachy though. Not coming from a high and mighty attitude, but out of loving concern. Maybe your wife could present this aspect to them?

These happy-happy-joy-joy health and wealth prosperity non-denoms are very aggressively recruiting all other faiths including Catholics and since they demand NOTHING from a person except access to their wallet, it can seem attractive to non-practicing Catholics. It’s all entertainment and flash, and that can appeal to younger generations who were raised on entertainment and fun. Too bad your ideal son-in-law wasn’t a faithful Catholic. I think you COULD ask for a better son in law - a faithful Catholic father and husband.

Tell her once more that you are concerned for her and her family, and then you must stop nagging. All you can do at that point is pray, pray, pray. Include them in any church activities that you attend, dinners at church, anything fun, especially for the kids. Some parishes are really good at this. Give them something to compete with the non-denom, but don’t directly say anything about the issue. Just cheerfully include them in whatever you can.
 
Why not invite them to go to sunday mass with you, turn it into a family occasion by having them over to your place for lunch after mass, if they enjoy themselves they may be eager to go again with you
 
The same thing happened to me and my priest advised us not to push it. She will come back when she is ready and hopefully bring her husband with her. Pray, pray, pray. 🤷🤷
 
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