Concerned about husband

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longlostone said:
Why do you say he is giving me garbage?
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Because every time you post there’s a new update, something that he “forgot” to tell you before, something that makes you feel more empathy or makes you question YOUR perception of what you are told.

Every update (except the one where he asked for help from a professional) is one in which you continue to be told “new information” that makes him sound like the victim, constantly.
 
Never said he isn’t taking them, just that they effect people differently. Not sure how long it lasts in the blood as that is above my pay grade and again people’s bodies react differently. There are blood tests for drugs. you would have to do research on what kit, or a doctor could send out a blood sample to be tested.
 
What do you mean by the victim?

I did notice almost half of the total amount that was withdrawn from the ATM was for the month of october. For example… he took out 150 on 10/10 then 150 on 10/11. The other months was not so close together. He took money out like 6x or 7 for october in 12 days.

Family think it is something else.
 
Well

Opioids: 3 – 4 days in urine, up to 90 days in hair, up to 12 hours in your blood. Benzodiazapines: 3 to 6 weeks in urine, up to 90 days in hair and 2 – 3 days in your blood. Amphetamines: 1 – 3 days in urine, up to 90 days in hair and around 12 hours in your blood
 
longlostone said:
What do you mean by the victim?

I did notice almost half of the total amount that was withdrawn from the ATM was for the month of october. For example… he took out 150 on 10/10 then 150 on 10/11. The other months was not so close together. He took money out like 6x or 7 for october in 12 days.

Family think it is something else.
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You have HUNDREDS of dollars going missing? That’s $300 over 2 days!!!

My husband makes decent money but we’d be in big trouble if he was taking hundreds, adding up to thousands, and had nothing to show for it.

This is the work of someone who has given up control of themselves.

When the money runs out things will start to go missing–electronics, jewelry, and even your children’s toys.

THAT is the path of an addict, and it’s the exact path you are describing.
 
That still doesn’t mean that it effects the person the whole time. That is how long it can be detected in the blood.
 
Get your money out of his reach. Open a bank account that does not have his name on it, do not give him the PIN or the account number.
 
I had an account before we got married. I added him. Can I remove him without his signature?
 
Yes I was pissed angry. 300 is a lot when you think of all the food you can get. I am stuck. Family wants me to demand answers… I try and he just tells me the same thing.
 
longlostone said:
Yes I was pissed angry. 300 is a lot when you think of all the food you can get. I am stuck. Family wants me to demand answers… I try and he just tells me the same thing.
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He’s telling you the same thing, because he cannot come up with anything to defend his addiction.

It is unfortunate your family is asking you to act in a way that won’t get you anywhere.

This is why you need SOCIAL help. You need to work with social services to ensure that your children are NEVER alone with him NOT FOR A SECOND.

You need to find a way to have them be cared for and make money.

I am not saying “get a divorce” by any means. I am saying that given the lines he’s feeding you given the fact he’s basically stealing food out of your children’s mouths by taking family money for drugs means that he is acting in a way that puts you and your children in danger. To which, your only response can be to ensure that you are not in any physical danger.
 
Added to this, if he is cut off from the money I would expect him to begin selling possessions in order to feed his habit. After that comes stealing to feed the habit.

You need to get to a meeting. google “Al Anon Meeting + your town”
 
Hi all. I believe my husband is going to change for good. He said he does not want to lose us and mentioned our children first. He said he was not thinking straight and feels bad because of how hurt I am from all of this. He went to the doctors a few days ago and I went with him. He will be getting a drug test to see what he took. He said the pills were various in sizing.
 
longlostone said:
Hi all. I believe my husband is going to change for good. He said he does not want to lose us and mentioned our children first. He said he was not thinking straight and feels bad because of how hurt I am from all of this. He went to the doctors a few days ago and I went with him. He will be getting a drug test to see what he took. He said the pills were various in sizing.
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Thats what an addict says. You really need to talk to a professional.
 
What kind of person takes pills without knowing what they are? For weeks? They could be anything. I’m glad he went to his doctor.
 
longlostone said:
Hi all. I believe my husband is going to change for good. He said he does not want to lose us and mentioned our children first. He said he was not thinking straight and feels bad because of how hurt I am from all of this. He went to the doctors a few days ago and I went with him. He will be getting a drug test to see what he took. He said the pills were various in sizing.
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Here’s the thing: If he’s going to change for good, he’s not going to object to you taking control of the finances for a while. Have your money moved into an account that’s solely under your control. That way you know you and your children will have your needs met. Also that he’s not allowed to take care of the kids by himself for a while.
 
Hello. He does not mind letting me control the finances. I have the debit card so I know money will not go missing. He took a lee test- nothing came back. I took a hair sample- nothing came back as far as any hard drugs or pills like morphine. This was just a mistake he made and he has improved. I have a good feeling about this now. The hair sample is the best since it years 90 days.
 
longlostone said:
ello. He does not mind letting me control the finances. I have the debit card so I know money will not go missing. He took a lee test- nothing came back. I took a hair sample- nothing came back as far as any hard drugs or pills like morphine. This was just a mistake he made and he has improved. I have a good feeling about this now. The hair sample is the best since it years 90 days.
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Why won´t he let you controll the finances?
Amphetamine can under some circumstances be not that easily viewable in those tests. You can mark cocaine for years in a hair, but not all substances work like that.
 
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