Concerned For A Friend

[SelflessLove]

Hello,

Alright, first of all thank you for taking the time to read this. Second, I should let you know I am not Catholic. I was never baptized. Most of my family is Catholic, however, my father converted to Protestant and my mother practices the beliefs of our Native-American ancestors. I was brought up to believe in God, but also to respect nature and my ancestors. Lately, however, I have been regularly attending the local church at my college (It is Roman Catholic) and am seriously considering joining the church next easter.

I have a friend who also goes to this church (he also lives in the same dorm as me) whom I care about very much. He is extremely devout. When we first met he was happy and relaxed, if not a little quirky. We are in the same chorus group and he was always ready to joke around and have fun with everyone else, and we all had a great time! Lately, however, I’ve noticed he has become more serious and less playful than before. He snaps at us in chorus if we begin to get off topic and gets easily frustrated with people. Last Sunday he didn’t take communion, which seemed odd for him and given the circumstances of the weekend I don’t know what he could have done to not feel worthy to take it. He just sat in deep prayer. I wanted to go over and ask him what was wrong but that wasn’t the time.

This week has been so busy so far I haven’t had the time to speak with him, and I know if I ask him he will just brush me off and say he is fine. I don’t know what to do or how to approach him. His behaviour is starting to get on our friend’s nerves (my roomate can’t stand his attitude) he was always very strict with his religion but now all he does is argue about it whenever God is mentioned. Most of my family is Catholic and I myself hope to join the church someday, but he takes it too far sometimes. After a particularly nasty debate with another friend (Who is a born-again christian) she was really upset that he belittled her beliefs. She’d had a really rough life and had found God in her own way, but he stood there and knocked her down verbally every chance he got.

He isn’t always like this, some days he is almost like his old self again but it doesn’t last long. He’s barely twenty and he acts like he’s a grumpy fifty year old man. I know people change over time, and it’s with great love and patience I have yet to yell at him or turn my back on him but I need some advice. He’s our friend, and I want things to be good between all of us again.

Please, anyone?

~ SelflessLove

 

[crystal_waters]

it kind of sounds like your friend may have worries and problems weighing him down, that can make people snappy…maybe thats why he didnt take communion because of whatever is on his mind, whether its a sin, or just something bothering him…

go easy on him…if he doesnt want to talk then just write a friendly note saying that if he does want to share and talk then you are always there to listen,

maybe he went too far upsetting the other girl about her beliefs, but maybe he could have felt that she was attacking his beliefs, when a person feels cornered or attacked their first instinct is to lash out at the one doing it

he sounds lucky to have you as a friend:thumbsup:

 

[Waiting]

Sometimes, if a change becomes radical, it might indicate the use of drugs. It could just be something worrying him. It might help if you talked privately with him and let him know that you’re concerned. How he accepts or rejects your offer might give some clues to how bad the situation is. Good luck and God bless.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I’d have to back up the suggestions of others here.

1. Maybe he’s got problems he’s not talking about and the stress is showing.
2. There may be some addictive behaviour.
3. There could be a medical reason. A lot of mental illnesses start to kick in at around that age.

Or there could be something else. Until you get a chance to talk to him, about all you can do is pray for him. If he keeps it up, he may find himself getting into hot water with college authorities.