Concerning Chastity

[Kateri92]

I recently got in a relationship with a wonderful Man. I am wondering though, if we are being completely pure but I still react by getting turned on/ aroused, how should I deal with this? Also, my boyfriends wants to kiss me but I’m afraid that since I get turned on so easily I will be sinning if I kiss him. I feel like I’m from the dark ages by asking this question, but is a kiss okay between two adults in a dating relationship?

 

[pensmama87]

Being aroused isn’t a sin; however, it tempts you to go further. While I can understand the desire for a clear line that applies to everyone, there really isn’t one. You and this young man have to figure that out and there will be trial and error.

For me, I know it would be less about the “what” and more about “when” and “where.” So I might kiss my boyfriend goodnight at my front door on a busy street, but I wouldn’t kiss him alone in my house/apartment. It’s a lot easier for things to get out of hand when it’s just the two of you.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

There’s kissing (pure affection), and then there’s KISSING (pure passion)!
I think the question is does it fire up your passion so much that you want things to go even further? I think that is where the line needs to be drawn. Just my 2 cents!:coolinoff:

 

[UbiCaritas]

Being aroused isn’t a sin; however, it tempts you to go further. While I can understand the desire for a clear line that applies to everyone, there really isn’t one. You and this young man have to figure that out and there will be trial and error.

For me, I know it would be less about the “what” and more about “when” and “where.” So I might kiss my boyfriend goodnight at my front door on a busy street, but I wouldn’t kiss him alone in my house/apartment. It’s a lot easier for things to get out of hand when it’s just the two of you.

The above is exactly what DH and I did when we were dating and later engaged. We simply didn’t have physical contact unless we were in public or by an open apartment door (i.e., hello/goodbye kisses). We’d hold hands when out walking, but not while watching a movie. Etc.

Never being alone wasn’t feasible for all sorts of reasons, not least of which was that we were both adults, living on our own with no family in the area, and dating long-distance. Whoever was from out-of-town always stayed at a hotel for the night, though.

We also kept fairly busy–no just hanging around the apartment with nothing to do. We would occasionally watch a movie at the apartments, but while in either separate chairs or opposite corners of a couch…and again, no just hanging around as such.

It worked well for us.

 

[Xantippe]

I recently got in a relationship with a wonderful Man. I am wondering though, if we are being completely pure but I still react by getting turned on/ aroused, how should I deal with this? Also, my boyfriends wants to kiss me but I’m afraid that since I get turned on so easily I will be sinning if I kiss him. I feel like I’m from the dark ages by asking this question, but is a kiss okay between two adults in a dating relationship?

There’s a very good book entitled “How Far Can We Go?” by Perrault and Salkeld that I think you will find helpful.

The cover art and title are a little cheesy, but the advice is very sound and practical.

You should get the book but to summarize–it depends on your stage of life, the seriousness of your relationship, and how close you are to “the finish line.”

 

[Anglewannabe]

I recently got in a relationship with a wonderful Man. I am wondering though, if we are being completely pure but I still react by getting turned on/ aroused, how should I deal with this?

If you are starting to get arose, walk away, make sure there is a least 10 feet between you and say ‘I think we need to calm down’ in a serious voice. If he approaches you scream at the top of your lungs ‘Leave me alone !’ Do what it takes to have physical distance. If he does not respect this, dump him

Also, my boyfriends wants to kiss me but I’m afraid that since I get turned on so easily I will be sinning if I kiss him. I feel like I’m from the dark ages by asking this question, but is a kiss okay between two adults in a dating relationship?

um… I don’t think it is sinning but… sounds kind of unromantic. How is the guy suppose to feel when he finds out ‘The internet forum said it is OK for me to kiss you’

 

[SusanneT]

I recently got in a relationship with a wonderful Man. I am wondering though, if we are being completely pure but I still react by getting turned on/ aroused, how should I deal with this? Also, my boyfriends wants to kiss me but I’m afraid that since I get turned on so easily I will be sinning if I kiss him. I feel like I’m from the dark ages by asking this question, but is a kiss okay between two adults in a dating relationship?

What you choose to do is a matter for your conscience. If he is the right man for you he should not just respect your beliefs but also honour you for holding them.

There is no sin in feeling arousel the sin is in acting on that feeling or in deliberately provoking those feelings.

God bless