Conditional baptism/Confirmation

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makingbreadbyhand

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Hello friends

I have what is possibly a very obvious question but I genuinely don’t know the answers and I’m hoping someone can help. I’m most definitely an adult, who wishes to become Catholic, and I have no way to find out whether I was baptised as an infant. (I have no contact with the people I grew up with, for my own safety). The parish priest in charge of RCIA has told me this is no problem, as I can have a conditional baptism in these circumstances. Being baptised really at this point of my faith life feels like a commitment I am ready for, and want to make with my whole heart, and essential in a very deep down way (hope that makes sense!)

However - this brings up a few issues. The first being that although I’m happy to go through RCIA, I would prefer that the Deacon who led me to this point baptise me and he is at the other end of the state. And being a conditional baptism I would prefer (and I think it’s more appropriate?) that it be a smaller and more private occasion than at the Cathedral at Easter. Is this a reasonable thing to pursue? Or even possible? I understand that I will be received into a community but he literally saved my life as well as brought me to real faith through the example of his own, so it really would mean a lot to me.

My other question is this. I am not sure that I am ready for, or going to be ready for confirmation by a particular date (Easter, obviously!) Is my ONLY option to be baptised and confirmed essentially at the same time? Or is it possible to be baptised, continue to grow in my faith, join the congregation/Catholic church and participate as a baptised Catholic, but only receive confirmation at a later date when I feel truly ready for that step? (I’ll briefly add that I have serious issues with ‘church’ from past experience and I am trying to find my way back in, rather than force myself into it which just makes me want to run away).

Thank you for reading this far, and I’ll be very grateful for any advice or wisdom you would care to share with me.
 
It shouldn’t matter who Baptizes you, but if you have a reason (as you stated), it’s reasonable to visit with your Priest and request what you have stated. I have a dear friend who was in a similar situation who had a private initiation into the Church as you described.
 
Yes it should be able. I would talk to the priest at the parish you are coming into. Getting confirmed on Easter isn’t a requirement. I know people who have been brought in on different days.
 
Thank you so much - it doesn’t strictly speaking matter in that I wouldn’t feel like it wasn’t ‘real’ if it’s not this one person, or anything like that, it wouldn’t take away from the importance of the occasion, but it would be very special to me if he can and will.
 
Thanks Lysander. Do you know if there was some time in between being baptised and confirmed? (Which wouldn’t apply if you’re referring to a child of course)
 
I dont know (just a layperson) but i would assume the Church could work with you. For the deacon from different part of state, i would assume there would need to have paperwork for him to fill out. (I just got married and we had a priest from a different disocese). Not a priest, so sorry if i give bad info. Hope this helps. God Bless i will keep you in my prayers.
 
Thanks so much, I really appreciate you taking the time and your prayers. I’d travel to him for this - I do know that he was given permission by his (Bishop I think) to marry his son and daughter-in-law outside the actual physical Church so I’m hopeful there will be some flexibility there. There is less where I am now but they are not completely refusing to discuss it.

Also, blessings on your marriage, congratulations 🙂
 
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Hang on, I’m sorry, but what do you mean you want to be confirmed separately from your baptism? You would put yourself under all the obligations required by the Church and subject yourself to canon law, but not have yourself be availed by the graces from confirmation and the eucharist? As someone who went through RCIA, this makes no sense. Have you spoken to your pastor about this? He’s the one ultimately in charge of making sure you’re ready for your initiation. I cannot though imagine this being allowed.
 
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makingbreadbyhand said:
I am not sure that I am ready for, or going to be ready for confirmation by a particular date (Easter, obviously!) Is my ONLY option to be baptised and confirmed essentially at the same time? Or is it possible to be baptised, continue to grow in my faith, join the congregation/Catholic church and participate as a baptised Catholic, but only receive confirmation at a later date when I feel truly ready for that step?
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The Code of Canon Law has in Canon 866: “Unless there is a grave reason to the contrary, immediately after receiving baptism an adult is to be confirmed, to participate in the celebration of the Eucharist and to receive holy communion.” [From New Revised English Translation, 1997, ISBN 000599375X ].

Similarly in The Order of Confirmation, General Introduction, n. 3: “Adult catechumens who are to receive Confirmation immediately after Baptism …”.

If you were baptised in danger of death by a lay person, they would not be able to administer confirmation. But any Priest could, following The Order of Confirmation n. 7: “Beside the Bishop, the following possess the faculty to confirm by the law itself: … c) as regards those who are in danger of death, the pastor or indeed any Priest.”

[Excerpts from the English translation of The Order of Confirmation, © 2013 International Commission on English in the Liturgy Corporation. All rights reserved.]
 
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I understand that my personal faith journey probably won’t make sense to others, but considering my background, it makes perfect sense to me! Committing myself to God (baptism) and committing myself to the Church (confirmation) are two entirely separate spiritual steps to me. Not to mention entirely separate mental and emotional steps, also considering my background in this. God doesn’t seem to be rushing me through this, so I’m hoping the Church will be able to give me some breathing room too. If not then I may not be in the right place for me.

I would add though, I don’t really see any difference in my situation than how it works for a person baptised in another denomination who joins the community but takes some time to be confirmed Catholic? (Acknowledging the eucharist question there, I’m not actually referring to that specifically though, and from my reading confirmation isn’t a requirement anyway, baptism is - please do correct me if I’m wrong)

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, it is appreciated
 
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makingbreadbyhand said:
Committing myself to God (baptism) and committing myself to the Church (confirmation) are two entirely separate spiritual steps to me. Not to mention entirely separate mental and emotional steps, also considering my background in this. God doesn’t seem to be rushing me through this, so I’m hoping the Church will be able to give me some breathing room too. If not then I may not be in the right place for me.
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They’re really not separate though. Committing yourself to God and the Church are not separate; they’re the same step. The minute you’re baptized is the minute you are a member of the Church and are subject to it. The Catholic Church is the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church established by Christ: there is no separating committment to her and Him.

You really ought to talk to your priest about your concerns.
 
I will, thank you. There are some issues that I have to work through related to the abuse by church members (from another denomination) that complicate things, it’s not quite as straightforward for me as for probably most others. I do appreciate your replies, thank you
 
Confirmation isn’t about commitment to the Church; please learn more about this important sacrament. God bless you on your journey.
 
Thank you - I will. I’m really new here and still feeling my way, and learning.
 
Conditional baptisms are supposed to be private, not public, so I suspect your priest will not do it at the Easter Vigil.

As for Confirmation, you have to understand that it’s not something YOU do, it’s something that is done TO YOU and it’s not about committing to the Church, it’s a completion of your Baptism. You commit to the Church by asking for and receiving Baptism.
 
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Thanks Phemie. Actually that’s what I thought too - I’m not the only one in the group though and he certainly doesn’t seem to have any intention of offering a more private arrangement (which I would be much more comfortable with). And not the most approachable on the subject, although he does actually know my lovely Deacon, so I thought it was worth asking here.

Ah, that makes sense, thanks for clarifying that for me. I’ll no doubt find out many things as the classes progress that I’m so far totally ignorant about 🙂
 
From the 1993 Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms of Ecumenism at http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/p...993_principles-and-norms-on-ecumenism_en.html n. 99:

“ d ) If, even after careful investigation, a serious doubt persists about the proper administration of the baptism and it is judged necessary to baptize conditionally, the Catholic minister should show proper regard for the doctrine that baptism may be conferred only once by explaining to the person involved, both why in this case he is baptizing conditionally and what is the significance of the rite of conditional baptism. Furthermore, the rite of conditional baptism is to be carried out in private and not in public. 112”

Footnote 112: “Cf. CIC, can. 869, 1 and 3.”

My bold text. Here “CIC” refers to the Code of Canon Law. Canon 869 does not mention the conditional baptism being carried out in private and not in public.
 
Thanks John. Another very likely ignorant question, thanks for your patience. So am I right to translate this as it being reasonable, or actually required, for me to request a private baptism (regardless of the current plan which I believe is to have everyone together at the Cathedral)? I think the intention may be to not make anyone feel like it’s less of an important occasion in community just because it’s conditional, but personally I don’t think that needs to or should be a factor - it’s not about ‘feeling good’. It certainly isn’t a factor for me in the circumstances I find myself in, where there’s no way to make any further enquiries but I sincerely believe I have not been.
 
It seems to me there should be two ceremonies. One is the conditional baptism. This should be private, as I posted, and you should inform the Priest of this. The other ceremony is the “Reception of Baptised Christians into the Full Communion of the Catholic Church”. In the USA Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults book this begins at n. 473. It has:

“475. In regard to the manner of celebrating the rite of reception:
1 . The rite should appear clearly as a celebration of the Church and have as its high point eucharist communion. For this reason the rite should normally take place within Mass.
2 . Any appearance of triumphalism should be carefully avoided and the manner of celebrating this Mass should be decided beforehand and with a view to the particular circumstances. Both the ecumenical implications and the bond between the candidate and the parish community should be considered. Often it will be preferable to celebrate the Mass with only a few relatives and friends. If for a serious reason Mass cannot be celebrated, the reception should at least take place within a liturgy of the word, whenever this is possible. The person to be received into full communion should be consulted about the form of reception.”

Despite this, the USA edition of the RCIA book includes a rite with the title “Celebration at the Easter Vigil of the Sacraments of Initiation and of the Rite of Reception into the Full Communion of the Catholic Church”. It begins at n. 566. So after consulting the candidate, they may be told this is how it will be.

[Excerpt from the English translation of Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, © 1985, International Commission on English in the Liturgy Corporation. All rights reserved.]
 
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