Conditional Requiem Mass?

[delsydebothom]

My wife and I are a bit stressed right now. Without going into the details, we are concerned that we may have had a miscarriage and not known it. Because of some conflicting test results, we aren’t sure if she was even pregnant. Of course this means we had no opportunity to baptize the child, if there even was one.

I am anxious to know if anyone here can give me information about conditional Requiem Masses for a child who may or may not have existed. Is the Church actually able to do this if she isn’t sure she has a soul to pray for? We don’t want to leave our child, if he or she exists, without whatever spiritual aid we can give. Thank you in advance!

 

[daeve]

Please call your pastor about this, or the diocesan office. They’ll be able to give you the correct information. This must be a difficult and confusing time for you. You’ll be in my prayers.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Please call your pastor about this, or the diocesan office. They’ll be able to give you the correct information. This must be a difficult and confusing time for you. You’ll be in my prayers.

May my family and I offer you our deepest condolences.

I am afraid that I cannot offer an answer to your question. On a personal note I don’t see why a priest couldn’t offer a Mass for the soul of the child you may have had. The most important thing I would remember at this time is that your child’s soul will certainly be with God, He isn’t constrained by our human rules.

To get the technicalities of your question answered ask a priest you know and whose replies you will be able to accept. I think this is important because if the answer is no I think you need that from a priest whose care you have experience of and trust.

Whatever the biological actualities, you are grieving. It would I feel be to your advantage to find a bereavement support group. Most Catholic dioceses have at least one. Yours may have one specific for parents who have lost a child.

My family will pray for you.

 

[MarkThompson]

The most important thing I would remember at this time is that your child’s soul will certainly be with God, He isn’t constrained by our human rules.

To get the technicalities of your question answered ask a priest you know and whose replies you will be able to accept. I think this is important because if the answer is no I think you need that from a priest whose care you have experience of and trust.

My condolences to the OP as well. However, it is precisely because we do not know for certain that the souls of unbaptized miscarried, stillborn, or aborted children are in Heaven – we entrust them to God’s mercy, but the Church does not teach that they are automatically saved – it is for that very reason that prayers and requiems are needed. You’d never say a prayer for the repose of the soul of someone you knew to be in Heaven (a saint).

 

[Matthew_Holford]

My condolences to the OP as well. However, it is precisely because we do not know for certain that the souls of unbaptized miscarried, stillborn, or aborted children are in Heaven – we entrust them to God’s mercy, but the Church does not teach that they are automatically saved – it is for that very reason that prayers and requiems are needed. You’d never say a prayer for the repose of the soul of someone you knew to be in Heaven (a saint).

I am not going to enter into discussion on this point. I believe in these particular circumstances it has no benefit to the OP.

These challenging issues are much better dealt with in a person-to-person contact with a priest and/or a properly trained bereavement counsellor.

To the OP: I apologise unreservedly to you if what I said engenders any false hope.

 

[MarkThompson]

For what it’s worth, and I should have just posted this paragraph before, here’s what the Catechism says on this issue:
1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,” allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.
With specific reference to the OP’s question, I’ve never heard of a conditional Requiem being done, but probably just because it is an unusual circumstance. I think it’s very likely that a priest would agree to do this, and I’m not aware of anything in Church teaching or liturgical law that would prevent it. I say, ask.

 

[Reuben_J]

My wife and I are a bit stressed right now. Without going into the details, we are concerned that we may have had a miscarriage and not known it. Because of some conflicting test results, we aren’t sure if she was even pregnant. Of course this means we had no opportunity to baptize the child, if there even was one.

I am anxious to know if anyone here can give me information about conditional Requiem Masses for a child who may or may not have existed. Is the Church actually able to do this if she isn’t sure she has a soul to pray for? We don’t want to leave our child, if he or she exists, without whatever spiritual aid we can give. Thank you in advance!

Hi.

There is no requiem mass for miscarriage. In your case you are not even sure your wife is pregnant. Nevertheless, if she is pregnant, a life has started in her womb which will be going to be your child. Let be comforted that life is a gift from God; he gives and he takes away. Sometimes it it even during at the stage of pregnancy and sometimes of course after the person has lived a ripe old life.

You can only offer an unborn baby in prayers and believe that it is saved in the hand of God.

I’m praying with you and that may God intervene and put into fruition what he has done for both of you when you made that covenant in marriage. He is the Lord of your marriage and everything will work out for good for those who love him and called according to his purpose.

God bless.