Confesion of Vile Sins

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In the Tan booklet, CONFESSION: ITS FRUITFUL PRACTICE, there is a prayer by St Gertrude with a line in it thus:
…nor will I knowingly hide any mortal sin, however vile and shameful it may be.
If one has to make a confession, but due to the nature of what it is they have need to confess, it fits into the extremely vile and shameful category. Due to particular circumstances, specific detail is needed in confession, but should one concern oneself with the effects of the confession on the priest, i.e. one might harm the priest with the detail of the confession, yet must make the confession for all of that.

Should one worry about the effect hearing one’s sins might have on the priest, or is this God’s concern?
 
If one needs to mention that they torture little children, then that’s what needs to be said. The gory details are not necessary. So bring your sin to an area where the priest fully understands the gravity of the sin without going into minute detail.

And as far as how it affects the priest, well think how it affected God. The priest is there to hear all sin. He knew that when he was ordained and he is there in the person of Christ for the healing of your soul. And that includes whatever is involved…God Bless…teachccd
 
It seems to me that the general nature of the sin and the category of it are important, to establish seriousness.

For example, it is “vile” (certainly!) to desecrate the Host. It “hurts” to hear that someone did that, but if one did do that, it should be stated, not danced around. The priest wouldn’t need the disturbing details of how the desecration was carried out, however. Similarly, it’s “vile” to engage in Satanic rituals, or to enjoy, or be silent at, mockery of Catholic rituals when that mockery is especially vile.

Violence is “vile,” (Certainly) But, for example, if there was domestic abuse, or abuse of a dependent creature such as child or animal, the priest would not need details of the physical violence enacted, just the fact that it was harsh, extreme, unwarranted. (Those could also be mortal transgressions against both the Fourth and Fifth Commandments, so if one physically abuses one’s child, that’s another dimension, versus committing violence against an equal adult.) If one commits physical violence against one’s wife, that’s certainly transgresses the sanctity of marriage as well. So the setting should be mentioned.

Similar for ‘vile’ sexual sins (if they was a vile element to them, not just a ‘standard’ sexual sin, such as fornication, adultery, masturbation, homosexual relations). A penitent could say that he or she engaged in ‘disordered sexual behavior of a particularly vile nature’ – and without going into details, because likely the details are not necessary. The penitent could further say in confession that he or she was particularly sorry for how they debased themselves to such a degree, and again the priest would get the point.

However, keep in mind that circumstances and setting are important elements for the priest to know. Thus, if the vileness of a sexual sin included sexual activity with a minor, that adds an element of seriousness, as it’s abuse of power to subject someone vulnerable to the influence of adults and without a sense of equality in the relationshiop. (So that would be at least a double sin, so to speak.) Similarly if there was a sexual sin that included violence (such as rape), that would be a double violation also.

So setting, circumstance, and degree are all more important than the details of the act.
 
What though, if, due to the scrupulous mind of the penitent, although sin was committed, there was necessity to describe the exact nature of the offense, so the priest could determine exactly what type of sin was committed, when the penitent himself feels unable to make this judgment? Then, would it be ok to be more detailed, even to a sickening degree?

I’ll give a little example: Say I say to the priest ‘‘I stole a book from a shop. I took it, I meant to take it and I knew it was gravely wrong. But then Father, I am not sure it was actually theft. The book may have been a free sample copy.’’ But the fact is, the penitent himself feels unable to discern IF he did complete the act of theft - sure he meant to do it, but he himself needs the priest to help him discern if he did actually commit theft, or if simply his intentions were evil at the time, though the sin of theft was not done, though it was certainly intended, with malice.

This is the type of situation I am referring to. In such a case, might it be necessary to give detail, even though it might well be an unpleasant thing to go over, for both the priest, and the penitent?
 
Then, the penitent should tell the priest that he or she is having difficulty with his discernment of whatever sin may have been committed and perhaps fair warning, if you will, that it is a particularly vile one. The priest could then ask questions of the penitent which would help him to discern the exact gravity of the matter at hand. That way, no more and no less information is given than is need.

I think one can trust that a priest has heard quite a bit in the confessional. Vile is subjective. It must be considered that what a penitent with a “scrupulous mind” considers vile just might not be all that bad in the eyes of another, although all sin is surely bad.
 
Then, the penitent should tell the priest that he or she is having difficulty with his discernment of whatever sin may have been committed and perhaps fair warning, if you will, that it is a particularly vile one. The priest could then ask questions of the penitent which would help him to discern the exact gravity of the matter at hand. That way, no more and no less information is given than is need.

I think one can trust that a priest has heard quite a bit in the confessional. Vile is subjective. It must be considered that what a penitent with a “scrupulous mind” considers vile just might not be all that bad in the eyes of another, although all sin is surely bad.
Thanks for your advice!
 
A priest friend told me a long time ago that priests have heard every sin that could possibly be committed before they are ordained…that is part of their training…so you don’t have to worry about the shock factor.
 
A priest friend told me a long time ago that priests have heard every sin that could possibly be committed before they are ordained…that is part of their training…so you don’t have to worry about the shock factor.
Thanks, that is reassuring.
 
I think Passus has offered the best advice.

It seems to me that the OP is concerned about the sort of situataion where, for example, if a woman were to confess sexually graphic details about a sin and so cause the priest tempting mental images or that sort of thing. I imagine there are other possibilities besides sexual things which could do this, but they are obviously the most clear example.

I would second Passus’ advice and say that yes, if it comes to being explicit, this is God’s concern. He will take care of the priest, so long as the priest is seeking to be taken care of. I know that were I a priest, I would be praying for that sort of thing before stepping into the confessional.

I can also say that being one of those people to whom all of his friends tend to go when they need to ask questions about their spiritual lives, I have heard some pretty explicit and detailed stuff and hearing it in the context of another’s “confession” really makes it not as tempting as it normally would be. There is something about a person coming to you for help and advice that changes the experience of hearing whatever you’re hearing.
 
As regards confession, does it matter much if the priest is also known to you and whom you regard as a friend? It would be of concern that the priest’s opinion of one might plummet into hell, from being a friend to a confessor, yet he is the best priest one knows.

Do you think it is possible to continue a friendship with a priest, after seeing him as confessor and privy to your dark side?
 
As regards confession, does it matter much if the priest is also known to you and whom you regard as a friend? It would be of concern that the priest’s opinion of one might plummet into hell, from being a friend to a confessor, yet he is the best priest one knows.

Do you think it is possible to continue a friendship with a priest, after seeing him as confessor and privy to your dark side?
Yes, we all have a dark side, The Priest knows that
 
Priests are given the grace to forget what they’ve heard. Truly, bobolink, a priest hears so, so many confessions from so, so many different people, it would be difficult for him to remember your specific confessions.

He knows you are human – as imperfect, sinful humans, we all have a dark side. I think a priest would actually have a higher opinion of you for your courage and honesty in confessing a difficult sin. He will be happy that you are seeking to sanctify your soul.

So, yes of course, it is very possible to have a continuous friendship with this priest.
 
As regards confession, does it matter much if the priest is also known to you and whom you regard as a friend? It would be of concern that the priest’s opinion of one might plummet into hell, from being a friend to a confessor, yet he is the best priest one knows.

Do you think it is possible to continue a friendship with a priest, after seeing him as confessor and privy to your dark side?
It depends. Priests are human. They are not allowed to discuss the sin with anyone else, but they are human. If it was real bad, I would find a priest that I wasn’t friends with.
 
It depends. Priests are human. They are not allowed to discuss the sin with anyone else, but they are human. If it was real bad, I would find a priest that I wasn’t friends with.
The trouble is, he is the only priest I feel I can trust to take my problem seriously and not simply dismiss me as neurotic. Ok, so I am neurotic, but I am also intelligent, and I know I have a genuine concern which pertains to my salvation, and I need a priest who will understand this and not dismiss me out of hand. It just so happens that the priest is also one I’d consider a friend and one who I have confessed to on perhaps only one other occasion.

I am concerned though, since I feel that what I have to confess is so bad that it could … make any kind of friendship impossible. I don’t know what to do. This priest is the most orthodox priest I know. HELP!!!
 
The trouble is, he is the only priest I feel I can trust to take my problem seriously and not simply dismiss me as neurotic. Ok, so I am neurotic, but I am also intelligent, and I know I have a genuine concern which pertains to my salvation, and I need a priest who will understand this and not dismiss me out of hand. It just so happens that the priest is also one I’d consider a friend and one who I have confessed to on perhaps only one other occasion.

I am concerned though, since I feel that what I have to confess is so bad that it could … make any kind of friendship impossible. I don’t know what to do. This priest is the most orthodox priest I know. HELP!!!
Go to confession to another priest, then try to get that sin under control, then go back to the friend Priest as your confessor. There were times i felt terrible about telling the Priest My sins face to face, But It was like nothing & they were kind of serious sins. He did counsel me & I saw him many times after that with no problem. If he judges You, then move on, he is not supposed to judge, just absolve you & admonish you
 
The trouble is, he is the only priest I feel I can trust to take my problem seriously and not simply dismiss me as neurotic. Ok, so I am neurotic, but I am also intelligent, and I know I have a genuine concern which pertains to my salvation, and I need a priest who will understand this and not dismiss me out of hand. It just so happens that the priest is also one I’d consider a friend and one who I have confessed to on perhaps only one other occasion.

I am concerned though, since I feel that what I have to confess is so bad that it could … make any kind of friendship impossible. I don’t know what to do. This priest is the most orthodox priest I know. HELP!!!
Bobolink,

I would say make an appointment and go to this priest you seem to trust or at least want to trust with your confession. If as you say he is a very orthodox priest he is going to act in the person of Christ and feel compassion for you because you are sincerely sorry for your sin and want forgiveness. It definitely will not make a friendship impossible. I have gone through this myself and had to put aside what my confessor thinks of me and relate to him in the person of Christ. He now knows the worst things I have ever done in my whole life. I know my confessor loves me because he “knows” me, and is now my spiritual director. I think it is almost impossible for a good priest to dislike someone who has sincerely confessed horrible things and has come for forgiveness.
 
Thank you people. I have resolved to go to see this priest as planned and trust God that all will be well.
 
As regards confession, does it matter much if the priest is also known to you and whom you regard as a friend? It would be of concern that the priest’s opinion of one might plummet into hell, from being a friend to a confessor, yet he is the best priest one knows.

Do you think it is possible to continue a friendship with a priest, after seeing him as confessor and privy to your dark side?
Yes…and from my personal experience it even deepened our relationship by showing him how much I trusted him and our friendship.
 
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