Confessing after more than 10 years of being an atheist

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Francisco

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I was raised catholic, but I became an atheist when I was about 12 years old.

I’m now in my mid-twenties, and although I still have some doubts even about God’s existence, I want to start living as a catholic, and read and study to increase my understanding of the catholic faith.

One thing that terrifies me is dying and going to hell, so I thought that first and foremost it would be important to make use of the sacrament of confession.

Perhaps the following its going to sound a bit nonesensical, but I’m really worried about a few things that I will describe.

First, I have some paranoid issues. I’m worried that there might be some microphone and a camera in the confessional, and that my sins are going to be of public knowledge. I’m not saying that the priest would be behind this, but the fact is that anyone could install them if they had a purpose. Perhaps some politician attends that confessional with regularity and some people would like to spy on him.

Secondly, I think I can be thorough enough if I think beforehand about what my confession is going to be, but I’m worried that the priest might want to engage in a conversation in order to clarify my sins. One thing, and a hard one, is to confess. Another harder would be to have a conversation about it.

Thirdly, I know that people often say that you can’t surprise a priest and that priests tend to be merficul in the confessional. I think that each priest is a different person so I cannot know how is he going to react. I really wouldn’t like to receive a hard judgement if I’m making myself clean of sin after so many years.

I’m sorry for my bad english.
 
There is no reason you can’t say, “Father, this is difficult for me.” He will understand.

As for the confessional being bugged – what would anyone do with recorded confessions? You talk about a politician being bugged – but that would be a greater danger to his opponent – it would blow up in his face.

And you don’t HAVE to be in a confessional – you could ask to see the priest in the rectory, or to walk with you on church grounds while you confess.
 
Most priests let the penitent confess with the degree of specificity they want. If you want time for a conversation, make an appointment. If not, just go to the regularly-scheduled time slot. If you are really worried about being recognized, go outside your own parish, somewhere where no one knows you, and that might help you feel more relaxed.

Don’t worry about a microphone or a camera. A priest faces automatic excommunication if he ever discloses what a penitent says in confession. It is a serious violation of the First Amendment for anyone else to try to record a sacramental confession. This kind of offense is very rare even in prisons, and they’re all ears there.

The most common reaction of a priest to a penitent who hasn’t been there in a long time is joy. When someone comes to confession after a long time away, it is a cause for rejoicing. They don’t go into the priesthood to go to meetings, as much as those can be important in guiding their parishes. They go to into the priesthood to save souls. You’re exactly who they’re hoping will walk in the door. If anything, he’ll be more afraid that he’ll not be what you need. I cannot imagine it will be the other way around.
 
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If you start off with, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last confession was more than 10 years ago. I’ve been an atheist but I’m trying to come back to the faith” the priest will know exactly what he is dealing with and be kind.

As for bugging the confessional, I doubt anyone is that interested in your sins. But if you’re scared maybe you should make an appointment in advance and discuss with the priest.
 
Wouldn’t a priest who records a confession be at risk of excommunication? Wouldn’t that constitute a break of the seal of confession?
 
Here’s my two cents: Get to know the priest first. If you have the opportunity to visit different parishes, get to know different priests. If you can talk to them one-on-one, great, but if not, even seeing them in action at mass and hearing their homilies can help you to get a sense of what they’re like as priests. And if you feel more drawn to one than another, go with that priest if you have the opportunity.

It’s totally normal to feel anxious about going to confession, especially if it’s your first one in a long time. And it can be great to schedule a confession with the priest outside of regular confession times so that you’re not rushed and you don’t take up the whole allotted time from everyone else. May God bless your journey home!
 
Maybe you can ask the priest if he locks the confessional when no one is using it, so that you can be sure no one could be messing with it.
 
Francisco said:
One thing that terrifies me is dying and going to hell,
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This is a starting point, that you humble yourself at the thought of Hell…
‘It is good, however, that even if love does not as yet restrain you from evil, at least the fear of
hell does. The man who casts aside the fear of God cannot continue long in goodness but will
quickly fall into the snares of the devil.’ - The Imitation of Christ
 
Ours does not. It is unlocked.

But think, who’s confession have you heard? Search. You aren’t going to find recordings.

SOo, if they haven’t recorded anyone else,why would they record you?
 
Lots of good replies upthread, so I’m just saying I’ll remember you in my prayers during your spiritual journey 🙂:pray:t2:❤️
 
I understand that. But the OP won’t feel at ease if they find out that, like ours, the confessional isn’t locked.
 
If that’s the case, THEN you can bring up the point of how unlikely it is someone would wiretap it.
 
Francisco said:
I’m really worried about a few things…
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I understand your concerns, but you need to overcome them, just go to Confession, and restore a right relationship with God.

One suggestion for overcoming the concern about bugging is to go to a parish in another town where nobody knows you.

Welcome back to the faith. Keep moving on the Way that leads to God’s love and life.
 
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Donald_S said:
Wouldn’t a priest who records a confession be at risk of excommunication? Wouldn’t that constitute a break of the seal of confession?
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The OP is referring to a malicious third party.

It’s extremely unlikely that anyone would do this with the idea of targeting a particular person, because so few people who confess regularly advertise when they do it. I have heard a case where a county jail did it, but that was over 20 years ago. It caused worldwide outrage, and the Vatican denounced the violation. It was a violation of the priest’s 1st Amendment rights, not just the penitent’s, and his Archdiocese brought suit on his behalf.


This is a very rare offense and an extremely serious one. It isn’t the kind of thing someone would do in order to realize a political gain.
 
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