Confessing in confession

[fish90]

I know that Jesus taught that we sin when we think of sinning (telling that if a man looks at another woman than his wife he has already committed adultery). I thought that the time we sin is when we fall into the temptation. I may be thinking of committing a sin but it is only a sin when I physically fall into the temptation and commit the sin.

Is this a correct statement?

Was Jesus referring to sexual sin at that point in scripture?

Do I confess sinful thoughts/ temptations or just the sins I have committed in the physical sense? (Confessing thinking about committing sin A compared to physically committing sin A)

Are we only required to state what commandment we have broken or can we just say the general sin we have committed?

I know that if we are too embarrassed to confess we must still confess but do not have to share the entire story. Any tips on confessing to a priest if you are too embarrassed to confess?

 

[Don9of11]

I know that Jesus taught that we sin when we think of sinning (telling that if a man looks at another woman than his wife he has already committed adultery). I thought that the time we sin is when we fall into the temptation. I may be thinking of committing a sin but it is only a sin when I physically fall into the temptation and commit the sin.

Is this a correct statement?

Was Jesus referring to sexual sin at that point in scripture?

Do I confess sinful thoughts/ temptations or just the sins I have committed in the physical sense? (Confessing thinking about committing sin A compared to physically committing sin A)

Are we only required to state what commandment we have broken or can we just say the general sin we have committed?

I know that if we are too embarrassed to confess we must still confess but do not have to share the entire story. Any tips on confessing to a priest if you are too embarrassed to confess?

You should read Matthew 15:19 and James 1:15 they may help you understand lust is a sin. And, Jesus is saying any thoughts you have of a sinful nature are as destructive as any physical sin you commit so, by all means confess sinful thoughts as well. If it helps to put your sin in proper context in confessing them to the priest then it’s certainly correct to state what commandment you’ve broken. I find doing an examination of my sins against the Ten Commandments the best practice to preparing for confession. You shouldn’t be embarrassed, I know, easier said then done. Remember, you are confessing your sins to Jesus Christ in the person of the priest and there is nothing Jesus doesn’t already know. Hope this helpful.

 

[dnar]

James 1:12; Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him.
James 1:13; No one experiencing temptation should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself tempts no one.
James 1:14; Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
James 1:15;Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.

 

[dnar]

You should read Matthew 15:19 and James 1:15 they may help you understand lust is a sin. And, Jesus is saying any thoughts you have of a sinful nature are as destructive as any physical sin you commit so, by all means confess sinful thoughts as well. If it helps to put your sin in proper context in confessing them to the priest then it’s certainly correct to state what commandment you’ve broken. I find doing an examination of my sins against the Ten Commandments the best practice to preparing for confession. You shouldn’t be embarrassed, I know, easier said then done. Remember, you are confessing your sins to Jesus Christ in the person of the priest and there is nothing Jesus doesn’t already know. Hope this helpful.

Is it allowed then to say, I have broken all 10 commandments and for this I am truly sorry? I thought you should name your sins, such as “I committed adultery”…“I committed blasphemy”…etc.

 

[Don9of11]

Is it allowed then to say, I have broken all 10 commandments and for this I am truly sorry?

Well you could say that, but I don’t think the priest would left you off so easily Of course, you should confess each sin. That you committed blasphemy is a bit generic. You might say I committed blasphemy and this is what I said, etc.

 

[RedSoxWife]

I always thought you just had to confess the type and that you didn’t have to get more specific. In other words couldn’t you confess “impure thoughts” or something along those lines depending on the sin.

 

[Timbothefiveth]

I thought that it wasn’t a random (and I mean truly 100% random) thought that was wrong, it was stuff you had control of. Like lusting after a woman or looking at her in that manner or for kicks. Or fantasizing about punching someone. I could be wrong though, I am not an expert and not a priest, so triple check this before you believe it and remember, better safe than sorry.

 

[Don9of11]

I thought that it wasn’t a random (and I mean truly 100% random) thought that was wrong, it was stuff you had control of. Like lusting after a woman or looking at her in that manner or for kicks. Or fantasizing about punching someone. I could be wrong though, I am not an expert and not a priest, so triple check this before you believe it and remember, better safe than sorry.

If you don’t have control of your own thoughts who does? I don’t know what to say if you’re experiencing “random” thoughts. The best thing to do is address these other questions you have with your priest and discuss them at length with him.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Regarding thoughts, my understanding is that it’s the degree of indulgence in the thought. This is how Fr. Larry Richards explains it in his CD, Confession. If you see a beautiful woman on the beach, enjoy her beauty, inwardly praise God for it, it’s one thing. If, as he describes, you spend the next half hour fantasizing what explicitly you would like to do sexually with her, it has risen to the level of sexual sin.

So similarly, I would think if your anger or hatred toward someone rises to the level of relishing a fantasy about physical injury or some other destructive result, you have indulged the thought, given will to it. (To seriously wish death or harm to someone is a mortal sin, for example.) “Thoughts” in themselves cannot be classified as sinful, since those could be temptations; it’s our assent to them, our indulgence of them, whereby we enter into the evil thought and own it (or decide to let it own us). Sin always involves decision.

As to specifics, it is, yes, important to name specifics of sin: kind, severity, frequency. Fr. Larry Richards offers penitents the option of “The Questions,” whereby he lists the 10 Commandments in some speficity, and the penitent can say Yes or No. But most priests don’t do that. (None that I’ve ever gone to!) I think Fr. Corapi once said that if someone is tongue-tied, he’ll start asking them questions, and also if they’re really vague and claim “not to have done much worth confessing.”

Sins of impurity is too vague: it could be a willfully ingrained habit you’ve allowed yourself to become addicted to or it could be a one-time occasion, or it could be adultery which is destroying your marriage. Those all might require different counsel and different penance.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Whoops. Typo. Meant “specificity.”

Also, with regard even to answering questions about the Commandments, it’s still necessary to name frequency (approximate – such as daily vs. once vs. a few times) and the category - thought, word, action. (Obviously someone like Fr. Larry Richards would probe more deeply if someone simply said, “yes,” without further comment.) But those elements are important to the fruits of the sacrament. The more specific we can be as to category & frequency the better the priest can advise us and the more specific the sanctifying grace is.

The point of the sacrament is to self-reveal, so that God can respond in kind to the specific needs. I may have sinned against the very commandments that someone else has, but the particularities of that may be quite different from someone else’s sin. I need the graces for my own healing, not someone else’s. Confession is for the penitent, not for the confessor (directly) or for God. When we self-reveal, we make ourselves available to God. When we cloak ourselves in generalities or verbal disguises, we make ourselves less available to God’s graces.

In fact, one of the threads here just the other day quoted some visitation words of Jesus (Margaret Mary and maybe Faustina) to the effect of ‘accusing yourself without disguise’ or something to that effect. The more honest, the more profound the grace.