Confessing Masturbation

  • Thread starter Thread starter GPM002
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

GPM002

Guest
I must apologize outright for the graphic nature of this question…

I have been struggling with my vocation for the past two and a half years. Along the way keeping chaste was seemingly a breeze with no slip ups in all that time. Then, just a month ago, I fell (shamefully gave in to temptaion) back into the habit of viewing internet pornagraphy and masturbating. I hate so much that I did this and now I recognize it as a sign of my pride and my own stupidity. I have firmly resolved to have constatnt recourse to Our Lord, Our Lady, my Patrons St. Benedict, St. Bruno, St. Francis de Sales, and all the Angels and Saints.

But here is a new problem, my scrupulous nature has me questioning my confession. What constitutes the “number of times” one masturbates? For example, if I masturbated for an hour and climaxed four times, did I masturbate just once or four times. This is driving me crazy. I have faith that God has forgiven me and that I am not doing this again. However, I really want to make the best confession possible without being too graphic with the priest. Please, anyone with a solid answer grounded in the truth of our holy faith would be greatly appreciated.

Please pray for me and all of those discerning the Monastic and Priestly vocations.

Thank you and God Love You!
 
GPM002 said:
I must apologize outright for the graphic nature of this question…

I have been struggling with my vocation for the past two and a half years. Along the way keeping chaste was seemingly a breeze with no slip ups in all that time. Then, just a month ago, I fell (shamefully gave in to temptaion) back into the habit of viewing internet pornagraphy and masturbating. I hate so much that I did this and now I recognize it as a sign of my pride and my own stupidity. I have firmly resolved to have constatnt recourse to Our Lord, Our Lady, my Patrons St. Benedict, St. Bruno, St. Francis de Sales, and all the Angels and Saints.

But here is a new problem, my scrupulous nature has me questioning my confession. What constitutes the “number of times” one masturbates? For example, if I masturbated for an hour and climaxed four times, did I masturbate just once or four times. This is driving me crazy. I have faith that God has forgiven me and that I am not doing this again. However, I really want to make the best confession possible without being too graphic with the priest. Please, anyone with a solid answer grounded in the truth of our holy faith would be greatly appreciated.

Please pray for me and all of those discerning the Monastic and Priestly vocations.

Thank you and God Love You!
Click to expand...
Just say you did it several times…and try not to think about this so much- dwelling on these sorts of things are what lead you into them.
 
m134e5 said:
Just say you did it several times…and try not to think about this so much- dwelling on these sorts of things are what lead you into them.
Click to expand...
Confession is not meant to be an exercise in mathematics or accounting!

The purpose of numbering your sins is so that the priest can have an idea as to whether that particular sin is something you fall into frequently or occasionally. So that he can tailor any advice he might want to give accordingly.

So saying ‘several times’ is fine - to give him a more complete picture (if time permits) you might want to add that it’s something you haven’t done in a long time.
 
You gain forgiveness because God gives you the grace to have the courage to confess this-- to want to be reconciled to Him, that’s what is important, not the number-work!
 
Each expulsion of seed for a man is considered one act of coitus… therefore spilling your seed four times should be considered 4 acts of coitus… in other words 4 examples of masturbation if not having a partner…
 
You said vocation earlier if your a priest or a brother, you should just accept the forgiveness offered in absolution, and move on or read Leviticus I think its 15 and 16 or 25 and 26 and you’ll be unclean until evening. If your just a lay guy forget about it afterall,we all sin. Just confess it, seek absolution and try not to do it again.
 
The difficulty that you are having is not theological. Scrupulosity resides in the realm of the emotional and psychological. There is a deep wound that needs healing. That wound may be giving rise to the pornography and masturbation. You need a good priest who is also a psychologist to help you clear this up.

As a father of three small children, I care about the relative frequency of a behavior only as a direction for insight into what is perturbing my child and what I can do to alleviate the underlying stress and conflict. You don’t need to convince God. He knows all. How many times you’ve committed an act is to help your confessor understand the extent of the issue so as best to help you.

As for your vocation being threatened by sexual sin, the same holds true for married men and women. We can get lonely and feel isolated too. My best friend,who is a Priest, says that Priests are as lonely as they want to be. You need to pick up the phone, call people, and get out and mingle with parishioners, family and friends.

Remember, God isn’t looking for perfect recollection, but genuine contrition and a heart open to His Healing Love. He is daddy (Abba) after all. Be kind to yourself.

God Bless
 
In the immediate interest of not giving scandal to others, I should clear something up; I am not a monastic or a priest. I should have said “I have been struggling with my decision for a vocation” for the past two years. I have long thought of becoming a priest but I recognize my limitations and feel happier when I think of being withdrawn from the world doing penence for my past life and offering my body and soul to God for the conversion of sinners and for His intentions. That is why I am seriously hoping to pay off all of my debts so that I may be accepted into Benedictines or the Carthusians.

That being said, I cannot thank you all enough for the quick and thoughtful responses you all have given me. I was baptized and recieved into the Church only a few years ago in my mid-twenties. I was never catechized in this area in particular and after my baptism I never had committed this particular sin. Being almost thirty, I feel I have been playing “catch up” for most of my life as a Catholic and along the way I see where I have stumbled and more importantly why. I know that has a lot to do with my pride and even more to do with making compromises with the worldliness around me as i had begun recently to question my motives in my quest for my vocation.

From all the answers above and all I have learned the past several years, a few of things have been made very clear… First, God never tempts us beyond our means to resist. This was all my fault and could have been avoided. Second, when we fall, God never ceases offering to help us back up, however the longer we insist on staying down the harder it becomes to see/hear/feel His help being offered. Finally, no one is immune to temptaion and when starts to believe that he is, he may already be neck deep in the mire of his own damnation.

Our Lord said that it is enough to keep the commandments to enter the kingdom of Heaven but that there is also a more sure way… to give up everything, take up one’s cross, and follow Him. This is what i desire and beyond my scruples I see that I had somewhere along the way go too comfortable and was fooling myself. I have fallen and now I arise again with te aid of God’s grace, the prayers of all Angles and Saints, and the kind words and prayers of those on this forum.

Please pray for me and all of those discerning the Monastic and Priestly vocations.

Thank you and God Love You!
 
GPM002,

One correction to what you have said. God does NOT tempt us. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul says that God will not ALLOW us to be tempted beyond our endurance.

Whatever your past, however bad you imagine it, monasticism is not meant to be a drery life of penance. Like marriage, it is supposed to be a joyful surrender of the self for a greater good. Both monasticism and marriage are the crucibles where we will burn off the impurities of our character. Not with long faces and misery, but by death to selfish desires in order to learn to live for another.

As you discern your vocation, bear that in mind that the fruits of the Holy Spirit are:

love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.

No long, somber faces in that list.

God Bless.
 
gmcbroom said:
You said vocation earlier if your a priest or a brother, you should just accept the forgiveness offered in absolution, and move on or read Leviticus I think its 15 and 16 or 25 and 26 and you’ll be unclean until evening. If your just a lay guy forget about it afterall,we all sin. Just confess it, seek absolution and try not to do it again.
Click to expand...
The Lord knows man is weak, all he asks it that we try, he knows are hearts & he knows if we are honestly trying. So long as we live in this mortal world, we are gonna commit some sin of thought word or deed, there are a lot of other types of sin beside sexual ones
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top