That is what I meant but spiritual direction isn’t anonymous. It can’t happen from behind a screen. The spiritual director has to know you and your struggles so they can offer informed advice.
As a priest who has done spiritual direction and still does it to a lesser degree now that I am retired, I want to affirm what you have written. To be effective, spiritual direction cannot be anonymous. The director, whoever he or she is (and spiritual directors are ever increasingly not uniquely priests,) is giving direction to an individual in a concrete state of life who will be in a very individual situation. It is important for there to be a rapport that transcends any screen.
A second point is that spiritual direction should never happen in the confessional. It can happen that a session of spiritual direction may happen to also involve a celebration of reconciliation – but it should never be the other way around. That is neither fair to the celebration of the sacrament of reconciliation and, frankly, it is not just to the other penitents who are waiting and simply want to avail themselves of the opportunity to confess.
Beyond this, and to the original poster’s points, while the Church does recommend “frequent” use of the sacrament of penance, the penitent must discern what is spiritually useful as opposed to what is not useful or even spiritually harmful. Some times the confessor, too, must intervene when the use of the sacrament becomes either radically infrequent or too frequent.
I have told him in the past, I don’t do anything. I know this might not make sense but can we confess we hate gong to confession? Do we still get the graces? Maybe I can confess to being clueless.
As a confessor, I would ask you please not to do this.
As I scan the list, there are only two of us who are priests, unless I have missed someone. Father B.F. (for want of knowing his preferred designation here) has suggested using different aids for the examination of conscience and examining against the paradigm of sins of omission. This is a very good suggestion.
Beyond that, I would suggest the help of a spiritual director – or in the absence of that possibility, as we can be hard to come by today, you could ask the confessor after your confession and before leaving the confessional his thoughts about useful frequency based on the confession you have made. An experienced confessor should have no problem in making a reasoned suggestion.
My advice, personally, would be if you don’t find the need to confess, then don’t go to the confessional, assuming you are going when conscious of mortal sin.
My friends agreed that I was probably the only one who knew how my mom sinned. They were probably right. I had a hard time putting my finger on it but there were some faults that I wonder if she was aware of. She didn’t discuss or admit to them and I still wonder if I should have mentioned them, especially since I know she wanted to be holy and also I think they would have been easy to correct, though painful to acknowledge.