Confessing The Details

[Mrs.E.C]

I have a question regarding when it is appropriate to mention others in confession. I am still new to the sacrament and would really appreciate some clarification. I know we aren’t supposed to confess someone else’s sin (“I got mad at so-and-so because they were really rude” type of thing), but am not sure how to handle a sin where someone else is involved in the sin itself. For instance, a sexual sin within a marital relationship would be a different thing to confess than the same action within an extramarital affair. Would it be okay for a penitent to confess the first sin and mention that it was committed with their spouse? These sins are hypothetical, just providing examples. Thank you for the help!

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I have a question regarding when it is appropriate to mention others in confession. I am still new to the sacrament and would really appreciate some clarification. I know we aren’t supposed to confess someone else’s sin (“I got mad at so-and-so because they were really rude” type of thing), but am not sure how to handle a sin where someone else is involved in the sin itself. For instance, a sexual sin within a marital relationship would be a different thing to confess than the same action within an extramarital affair. Would it be okay for a penitent to confess the first sin and mention that it was committed with their spouse? These sins are hypothetical, just providing examples. Thank you for the help!

You need to provide enough details that the priest knows what you mean, but no more. So you could say “I used contraception with my husband.” but you don’t need to describe the nitty gritty of the sexual encounter (and the priest would probably prefer you didn’t)

 

[ColoradoCatholic]

Just my opinion,

But I think you should confess the details only to the point that you get the gravity of the sin across. For instance If I (not being married) had a sexual sin I committed with someone else, I would just say what it was that I did, and that it was done in “such and such” of a context. (in a relationship, marriage, outside of either of those) you get the point. I don’t confess the sin of the other person (obviously the priest knows that it was committed with someone else if that is the sin). I think adequate description of the context can help the priest to give you good advice if he is willing to do so.

What I do think is wrong is trying to lump things in with an all encompassing term. Ex: saying “I committed the sin of lust” instead of: “I had pre-marital relations with X number of people. This is the extent that those relations went”

Hope it helps. If you avoid trying to explicitly say something in confession, it may come back to haunt you (scrupulosity) when you think back on it and realize you weren’t exactly telling the whole truth.

 

[dscath]

Keep your focus inward. It is your place to confess you sins, not to bring the sins of others into the sacrament, even if you feel they caused your sinful act.

Thinking of Flip Wilson’s, “The Devil made me do it”!

 

[CRV]

how to handle a sin where someone else is involved in the sin itself.

if a relative or a friend for example you would say someone close to me.

within a marital relationship

you could say “with my spouse” or “within my marriage” etc.

the same action within an extramarital affair.

E.G. “Adultery including the sin of sodomy”

Of course the number of times is also to be mentioned.