Confessing to priest I have to work with?

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AKDee

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Recently I have been trained and have begun performing the duties of sacristan in our Parish. We have confession at 3:30pm each Saturday, and then my sacristan slot is for the 5:30pm Mass on Saturday. I have a very distinctive voice and I’m sure that despite sitting behind a screen that Father knows that it’s me making my confession. This makes me feel awkward because just an hour after confession Father will see me in the sacristy preparing for the Mass and handling the sacramentals. I guess my question is- do you think this is also awkward for Father? Should I take steps to find another parish to confess at?
 
My confessor always knows it’s me despite “anonymous” confession. Unless you’re a paid employee, I wouldn’t worry about.
 
Every sacristan is a sinner. The only difference between you and most is that you’re observant enough in your faith to have gone to confession. I’ve yet to see any of our older sacristans in any of the confession lines - not that they don’t go, I just haven’t seen them.

So what if the priest has heard your confession? It’s likely that he’s already forgotten by the time mass comes around. Even if he hasn’t forgotten he cannot mention it to you or treat you differently because of what he may have heard.

I’m a cantor in my church and well-known to both our priests. I go to confession weekly, face-to-face, and they know me well, there, as well. So what? I left my sins in the confessional and have been wiped clean by the Mercy of God. If a priest chooses to dwell on what I may have confessed 45 minutes ago that’s his problem-not mine.
 
I’m sure the priest couldn’t care less. After all, during the week he has probably heard many face to face confessions from people he sees and knows around the parish. However, if it makes you feel weird you can always find another priest somewhere else.
 
Right, it would be the same as if you did a face-to-face. And actually, you might feel even stronger about your reconciliation if it’s not completely anonymous.

At the same time, though, don’t avoid confession if it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe find an alternate site for it? Better that you go elsewhere than not at all.
 
I confess face to face, so it never has bothered me.

If it bothers you, than perhaps you can pray about it. I doubt it bothers your priest.
 
I’ve been told by priests that they are pretty good at forgetting the sins confessed to them. I do face-to-face Confessions with a particular priest at my parish even though he knows me and my family. He’s never shown any sign of feeling awkward about talking to me outside the confessional.

But if you feel awkward, it’s fine to drive to the next closest parish for Confession. Masstimes.org is great for finding the Confession schedules at other parishes. I recommend verifying the schedule at the parish’s own website before going, however, as the masstimes.org listings are sometimes outdated.
 
AKDee said:
Recently I have been trained and have begun performing the duties of sacristan in our Parish. We have confession at 3:30pm each Saturday, and then my sacristan slot is for the 5:30pm Mass on Saturday. I have a very distinctive voice and I’m sure that despite sitting behind a screen that Father knows that it’s me making my confession. This makes me feel awkward because just an hour after confession Father will see me in the sacristy preparing for the Mass and handling the sacramentals. I guess my question is- do you think this is also awkward for Father? Should I take steps to find another parish to confess at?
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If there is another parish nearby, you could go there for Confession if it makes you feel less awkward. It’s probably no big deal to the priest but I am in favor of taking barriers to Confession down when possible.
 
I’m in the same situation you are brother/sister. I teach RCIA and the pastor supervises that class directly.

Everything they said in previous posts is true. But the problem’s not the priest, it’s our inability to see beyond the human façade to Christ to whom we are truly confessing. The truth be told, we can’t get past that façade and it impairs our ability to confess fully. While I agree with the conditions described above, my conclusion would be to find another priest.
 
My priest won’t hear our confessions, he asks us to go tot he next parish (we’re employees).
He does for the Sacristan though, and she often goes face to face.
It’s not that big of a deal either way.
The important thing is the sacrament.
God bless!
 
AKDee said:
Recently I have been trained and have begun performing the duties of sacristan in our Parish. We have confession at 3:30pm each Saturday, and then my sacristan slot is for the 5:30pm Mass on Saturday. I have a very distinctive voice and I’m sure that despite sitting behind a screen that Father knows that it’s me making my confession. This makes me feel awkward because just an hour after confession Father will see me in the sacristy preparing for the Mass and handling the sacramentals. I guess my question is- do you think this is also awkward for Father? Should I take steps to find another parish to confess at?
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Interesting posts. You think a priest could really forget what you confess? Only God can forget sin.

If it’s the same ole’ sins, I agree that it’s not big deal. I taught catechism and confessed to the priest of that parish.

If you feel funny about a particular sin, or if it’s about another parishoner, it might not be a bad idea to go to a different parish.

OTOH, I have friends who have spriritual advisors who know EVERYTHING about them.

Do what you feel is comfortable for you.

God bless you
 
I personally prefer face-to-face confession to anonymous confession.
That being said I do understand the idea of being more comfortable seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation from one priest rather than another.
Many priests have spoken about the gift of forgetfulness as one of the charisms associated with the Sacrament of Holy Orders in relationship to hearing the Sacrament of Reconciliation. There is also the human element that the more confessions a priest has heard, the more he has “heard it all.” We are all sinners and the Sacrament is a healing Sacrament where we come to be touched by the grace and mercy of God. Would you feel uncomfortable being treated by a doctor that you worked for? That is another way to look at the Sacrament of Reconciliation. While the doctor works on physical ailments, the grace of the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the healing of spiritual ailments?
Seek your confessor based on whom you think you receive the most spiritual consolation or guidance along your journey to your ultimate home which is heaven.
 
Thank you everyone for your advice. My discomfort isn’t an impediment to confessing to this priest, I confess weekly or every two weeks and he has been my confessor all along. I’m always uncomfortable at confession and feel this is part of teaching me humility and part of developing better contrition. I just wondered basically if he’s looking at me in the sacristy and finding me unworthy of being sacristan since he knows my sins.
 
people have different temperaments and sensibilities. if one is not comfortable with a particular priest, he may seek another for confessions. but in a case where another priest is not readily available, one may want to take out some time and reconsider the situation: evaluating if it is really worth the pain of searching for another priest instead of the obviously harmless discomfort of confessing to a priest who would recognise him.

(my personal experience: we do not normally confess to the priests we live with in our religious community, but on the day of my final profession I confessed to one of them because I wanted to make the vows with a clean soul; and with only minutes before the mass, the name and face of the confessor were not among the first 50,000 things on my mind. it was a onetime occurrence, but if I found myself in the same situation everyday of my life, I will comfortably make the same decision each time).
 
Do not be afraid!

The Priest, like any person, are not in a position to judge another, or try to demean them, through their own knowledge of your life. Not only is this contrary to what we profess as Catholics, but also blind to our own faults and failures.

In our Parish, we have no Confessional. All confessions are done face-to-face, whether in the small “kitchen” next to the entrance (whose door is kept shut), an empty storage room, the Sacristy or even a remote corner of the Church. As we are a small, tight-knit community, only a couple visit confession when it is available.

As a convert, I am still nervous going to confession, and I know that Father seems to sense that. Often, he will lighten the mood by engaging in some conversation after absolution, regarding how work is, my spirituality and so on.

Our Priests have heard many different confessions during their lives. It should not affect the way they treat you. Don’t be shy of being around him, for fear that he might not be happy with your efforts as a result of confession.

The point is, our Priests are often more aware of humanities’ shortcomings than anyone else. So I doubt they have it in them to be critical directly toward you. They may assign a harsher penance, or perhaps try earnestly to understand what you are battling (much to your embarrassment) - but that is their job.

Again, I want to restate to you: Do not be afraid! God is working through His Minister to help you be forgiven. Rejoice in that, and let it fuel further spiritual growth.
Remember that if the Priest has serious concerns about you, he may deny absolution - I’m not sure how often this may happen, but I doubt you or many others would be in such a state for this to occur.

Hope this helps! 🙂
Mike
 
AKDee said:
Thank you everyone for your advice. My discomfort isn’t an impediment to confessing to this priest, I confess weekly or every two weeks and he has been my confessor all along. I’m always uncomfortable at confession and feel this is part of teaching me humility and part of developing better contrition. I just wondered basically if he’s looking at me in the sacristy and finding me unworthy of being sacristan since he knows my sins.
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Well AKDee, I don’t think your problem is with confessing face to face or priests being able to bear hearing sins or any of that.

I think you have a legitimate concern. I don’t think the priest would look at you and say - Wow, he sure doesn’t deserve to be a sacristan! Here all the posters are right, of course. Priests know we’re fragile and they know why we sin and it’s no problem.

I do think though, that if you’re confessing re another person who works for him, for isntance, I personally think this would not be a nice thing to do because they are human and they do remember things and it might cause some discomfort even to him in a way; knowing that you have a problem with someone.

Now I’m a girl and women tend to have more of this type of problem and Ihope no one out there tells me I’m wrong because I’ve been working in churches forever and know this to be a fact.

Anyway, just my two cents, as they say. Follow your conscience.

Fran
 
I have some experience with this, and as a result hesitated a while before responding. I could tell you my own story, but in the end knowing what happened to me probably won’t help you. 😛 So if this is your main concern
AKDee said:
I just wondered basically if he’s looking at me in the sacristy and finding me unworthy of being sacristan since he knows my sins.
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let me just say that I find it difficult to believe this is the case. Be at peace. 🙂
 
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