Confessing venial sins w/o it being a "laundry list"

[Spirithound]

My understanding is it’s basically just a list of sins of, “I did this, and this, and this, and this, and so on a so forth.” From my understanding, we’re not supposed to do that with venial sins. That’s all I know.

I would just like to encourage you to keep on trying. I’m not aware of any teachings that we are supposed to confess venial sins in a less formal way than mortal sins, just that we may omit venial sins. God bless you

 

[acadian]

I never heard or seen anyone going into confession with a list of sins on it. Is that okay to do? Some confessionals are so dark inside that I wouldn’t even be able to read the paper

Yes, perfectly fine.

One day I showed up for confession, and one of my favorite elderly ladies was sitting in the pew ahead of me also waiting…with her “cheat sheet”. It made me smile because I always have a list, too. Don’t always use it, but sometimes my memory needs “back-up”. Mine is usually a small little piece o paper - I aim for post-it note size, and I usually pull it out of my pocket as I enter the confessional…so it might not be notiecable to other people waiting (assuming there were other people…)

One of the beautfiul things about the confession “apps” for iPod, etc, is that you could take your “list” in on your ipod or iphone, and because of the light they emit be able to read it in a dark confessional

That being said, there are some priests who have personal biases against lists. I guess if you run into one of those, keep looking. With my confessor, I once told him, “The Lord spoke, and I took notes…and brought them with me…” as I unfolded my paper. That one took a couple of post-it notes. He just smiled.

 

[dfp42]

Yes, perfectly fine.

One day I showed up for confession, and one of my favorite elderly ladies was sitting in the pew ahead of me also waiting…with her “cheat sheet”. It made me smile because I always have a list, too. Don’t always use it, but sometimes my memory needs “back-up”. Mine is usually a small little piece o paper - I aim for post-it note size, and I usually pull it out of my pocket as I enter the confessional…so it might not be notiecable to other people waiting (assuming there were other people…)

One of the beautfiul things about the confession “apps” for iPod, etc, is that you could take your “list” in on your ipod or iphone, and because of the light they emit be able to read it in a dark confessional

That being said, there are some priests who have personal biases against lists. I guess if you run into one of those, keep looking. With my confessor, I once told him, “The Lord spoke, and I took notes…and brought them with me…” as I unfolded my paper. That one took a couple of post-it notes. He just smiled.

I guess there’s no rule. I’d just feel a little odd bringing in an ipod or iphone into the confessional. I’d be afraid of accidentally playing an mp3 or my phone ringing. Next thing you know the priest would think of me as a freak or something playing with my phone in the confessional. I try to refrain from electronics in Church because no matter what I may be doing with it (ie. Reading the faith etc) people might think I’m texting or playing around.

 

[ANNE_2]

I never heard or seen anyone going into confession with a list of sins on it. Is that okay to do? Some confessionals are so dark inside that I wouldn’t even be able to read the paper

I did, when I came back to the Church after 25 years. I spent several hours going over some good printed “examinations of conscience” and typed up my list. When I got home I immediately shredded it.

By the way, for those who are interested in “Plenary Indulgences” in most cases one must not even be in the State of Venial Sin. Mercy Sunday is coming up (Sunday after Easter) - and this is required. Go to the Vatican web site for more info. After you get to Vatican site, search indulgence - Mercy Sunday.

CCC " 1863 Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable. “Venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity, and consequently eternal happiness.”

While he is in the flesh, man cannot help but have at least some light sins. But do not despise these sins which we call “light”: if you take them for light when you weigh them, tremble when you count them. A number of light objects makes a great mass; a number of drops fills a river; a number of grains makes a heap. What then is our hope? Above all, confession. "

 

[baltobetsy]

Maybe the problem with a laundry list or grocery list is that it’s the same every week. Five dress shirts, three pairs of pants, one blazer, two ties, blah, blah, blah. Milk, bread, eggs, oranges, cereal, chicken… Never changes. If you have the same old sins every week, just rattled off without a serious struggle to overcome them, what’s the use?

Bookcat touched on a better way. We’re going to have a boatload of venial sins for most of our life, right? We can rattle them off, all of them, every week, and never improve very much, or we can be more strategic. We can pick a couple of them and focus our attention on them like a laser until they are eradicated. Then we can pick a couple more and do the same. Pretty soon, we’ve made some real spiritual progress.

 

[Carlan]

Maybe the problem with a laundry list or grocery list is that it’s the same every week. Five dress shirts, three pairs of pants, one blazer, two ties, blah, blah, blah. Milk, bread, eggs, oranges, cereal, chicken… Never changes. If you have the same old sins every week, just rattled off without a serious struggle to overcome them, what’s the use?

Bookcat touched on a better way. We’re going to have a boatload of venial sins for most of our life, right? We can rattle them off, all of them, every week, and never improve very much, or we can be more strategic. We can pick a couple of them and focus our attention on them like a laser until they are eradicated. Then we can pick a couple more and do the same. Pretty soon, we’ve made some real spiritual progress.

:thumbsup:Thanks you twoPeace, Carlan

 

[acadian]

I guess there’s no rule. I’d just feel a little odd bringing in an ipod or iphone into the confessional. I’d be afraid of accidentally playing an mp3 or my phone ringing. Next thing you know the priest would think of me as a freak or something playing with my phone in the confessional. I try to refrain from electronics in Church because no matter what I may be doing with it (ie. Reading the faith etc) people might think I’m texting or playing around.

I don’t see myself bringing my iPad with its hot pink otter box case into the confessional. But I do see my teen sons bringing their iPod Touch - especially if they go behind the screen.

I do bring my iPad into church when I’m going for Adoration. I have a whole host of spiritual readings on it - the Liturgy of the Hours, etc, I also use the “notes” app as a journal. Usually I am alone in those cases. Haven’t quite gotten to the point of showing up at Mass with it…even though I could follow along on the readings with it.

 

[Spirithound]

Maybe the problem with a laundry list or grocery list is that it’s the same every week. Five dress shirts, three pairs of pants, one blazer, two ties, blah, blah, blah. Milk, bread, eggs, oranges, cereal, chicken… Never changes. If you have the same old sins every week, just rattled off without a serious struggle to overcome them, what’s the use?

Bookcat touched on a better way. We’re going to have a boatload of venial sins for most of our life, right? We can rattle them off, all of them, every week, and never improve very much, or we can be more strategic. We can pick a couple of them and focus our attention on them like a laser until they are eradicated. Then we can pick a couple more and do the same. Pretty soon, we’ve made some real spiritual progress.

Well said!

 

[Sarahforgiven]

Yes, I love iPieta app. & want to use it at adoration. I recite the scriptural rosary each day too with my touch on the way to work. I have not seen the confession app, but would like take a look.

 

[DrSharkey]

I try to go to confession every 2 weeks, at least. More often if I’ve mortally sinned. Even if I don’t have mortal sin on my soul, I have found strength in confessing my venial sins. It helps keep me from repeating the same ones over and over; or at least I recognize it better when I’ve committed a venial sin.

Personally, I think the prohibition against using a “laundry list” for sins is that it takes away the personal-responsibility aspect of confession. There’s a difference between regretting doing several things, as opposed to just spouting out a list in a robotic fashion.

 

[LilyM]

Maybe the problem with a laundry list or grocery list is that it’s the same every week. Five dress shirts, three pairs of pants, one blazer, two ties, blah, blah, blah. Milk, bread, eggs, oranges, cereal, chicken… Never changes. If you have the same old sins every week, just rattled off without a serious struggle to overcome them, what’s the use?

Bookcat touched on a better way. We’re going to have a boatload of venial sins for most of our life, right? We can rattle them off, all of them, every week, and never improve very much, or we can be more strategic. We can pick a couple of them and focus our attention on them like a laser until they are eradicated. Then we can pick a couple more and do the same. Pretty soon, we’ve made some real spiritual progress.

Why the presumption that when one comes into confession with a relatively long list of venial sins that one necessarily is any the less sorry for them, or puts any the less thought into one’s confession, than if one lists only a few?

On the contrary, arguably, making the effort to name the sins individually helps more in conquering them than lumping the majority of them in with ‘all the sins of my past life’ as a nameless mass that one needn’t think about too hard or too deeply.

As for confessing the same venial sins every time - well, couldn’t the same apply to mortal sins? Do you think there aren’t people who, say, masturbate frequently (in many cases a mortal sin and so one that must be named in each confession), but ‘rattle off’ that particular sin without particular thought, or particular intent to avoid that sin in future?

And yet in the case of serious sin it’s not just encouraged, it’s an absolute requirement, that each mortal sin be named specifically. To me this says two things:

a) that it’s not the mere naming of the same sins every time that is a problem, and
b) that there is a certain power in naming a sin, a power that is more needed the greater the sin.

Just sayin’ …

 

[Lena13]

Our pastor made reference at our Ash Wednesday Mass to going beyond the “grocery list” approach to sin. He said that we need to get to the root of the problem

Our Priest says something similar, but I think means something quite different? He says that when you go to confession (2nd Rite) don’t come in and list all your sins, use the time in the examination of conscience to discover the root of the sin… For example, if you discover that most of your sins pertain to you being very selfish, then confess that you have been selfish, and use that as a way, during the week, to isolate times when you are being selfish. Rather than just looking out for one sin where you were selfish… Does this make sense? I have no idea. Good thread tho, I don’t know much about confession – which probably means i need to go more often!

 

[baltobetsy]

Why the presumption that when one comes into confession with a relatively long list of venial sins that one necessarily is any the less sorry for them, or puts any the less thought into one’s confession, than if one lists only a few?

Not presuming this happens every time, but it is one possibility. If it’s something that a person does, then perhaps he should evaluate it to see if it’s working. If I find I’m confessing the same venial sins week after week with no improvement, I’m going to think that perhaps I need a new strategy.

 

[Tigertame4]

This is a very helpful discussion. I am a convert who converted at 31. We really did not get into the nuts and bolts of how to go to Confession. I take a list. Everything I know about going to Confession I learned from sappy movies where the character goes on and on about stuff like a therapy session. I will stick to my 3X5 card with its list and my pamphlet on Reconciliation that I cut down to examination of Conscience and Act of Contriition.

 

[Bookcat]

Why the presumption that when one comes into confession with a relatively long list of venial sins that one necessarily is any the less sorry for them, or puts any the less thought into one’s confession, than if one lists only a few?

On the contrary, arguably, making the effort to name the sins individually helps more in conquering them than lumping the majority of them in with ‘all the sins of my past life’ as a nameless mass that one needn’t think about too hard or too deeply.

As for confessing the same venial sins every time - well, couldn’t the same apply to mortal sins? Do you think there aren’t people who, say, masturbate frequently (in many cases a mortal sin and so one that must be named in each confession), but ‘rattle off’ that particular sin without particular thought, or particular intent to avoid that sin in future?

And yet in the case of serious sin it’s not just encouraged, it’s an absolute requirement, that each mortal sin be named specifically. To me this says two things:

a) that it’s not the mere naming of the same sins every time that is a problem, and
b) that there is a certain power in naming a sin, a power that is more needed the greater the sin.

Just sayin’ …

Yes of course all mortal sins must be confessed in number and in kind (and if something changes the sin…like it was your brother you murdered).

But trying to “get all” the possible venial sins one has committed since ones last confession “by name” can involve a good size list depending on the period of time since the last confession (they are called daily sins for a reason).

And it can be good to focus in “by name” on some* in particular* …the sort of divide and conquer approach. Perhaps looking more intently at them …and working more directly.

I am of course not saying one can not confess a long list… one certainly can…and yes it can be helpful from another perspective to do so (if it is not too long…for others are waiting)

 

[Love_Divine]

This is a very helpful discussion. I am a convert who converted at 31. We really did not get into the nuts and bolts of how to go to Confession. I take a list. Everything I know about going to Confession I learned from sappy movies where the character goes on and on about stuff like a therapy session. I will stick to my 3X5 card with its list and my pamphlet on Reconciliation that I cut down to examination of Conscience and Act of Contriition.

I did my first reconciliation when I was 7 and we didn’t get into how to go to confession either. It was a very wishy-washy thing up until recently.

 

[lareinatortura]

I have no mortal sins at the moment, so I figured I’d start confessing venial sins. I’m somewhat baffled by how to best confess venial sins without creating a laundry list or rambling on and turning it into a therapy session.

What’s the best way to confess venial sins in a traditional confession setting. (Ie: Not one of those Reconciliation rooms where you and the priest sit face to face and “have a talk”.)

This is an awesome question. Thank you for starting this thread–I look forward to reading the following posts. (I want to go through RCIA next fall, so. . I need to know these things).

 

[lareinatortura]

I don’t know. It was a long time ago, when I was still a little kid. I have a hard enough time doing confession thanks to the wonderful world of social phobia/social anxiety. Angry priests don’t make it any easier…

Poor thing. I hear you there. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety disorder (on top of something else I’d already had. . ) and now, a few years later, I’m really starting to feel the physical effects. Long story short, I have never had a Priest get angry at me, but I have had plenty of “medical professionals” treat me like. . well, treat me badly. I realized that everyone can go to school, but not everyone has what it takes to be a great doctor. Being a great doctor requires compassion–something many people lack–to take care of the people that God puts under one’s stewardship. .

 

[lareinatortura]

Our pastor made reference at our Ash Wednesday Mass to going beyond the “grocery list” approach to sin. He said that we need to get to the root of the problem.

I suppose that means something like, “I have been impatient and uncharitable because I sometimes think my wants and needs are more important than those around me.”

That being said, I’ve gone with a list, I’ve read straight down it, and the only comment he had was “wonderful”.

Go with what the Holy Spirit shows you.

That’s an awesome idea. This is what I think of when I think of Confession–getting past the “just listing,” and “getting to the root of the problem.”

 

[The_Reginator]

The title of this thread sure got my attention!

Starting with Lent 2010 our priest has introduced Adoration and Benediction every Friday night. During Adoration he is available for the Sacrament of Confession.

After a while I got into the habit of going to Confession weekly. That was easy when I had a mortal sin or two to confess.

For some time now (from frequent visits to the confessional perhaps) I have had no mortal sins. Confession has become really difficult. As a few others have mentioned, the same sins tend to get repeated each week, with little sign of improvement.
A month or so ago he simply said that I’m being too hard on myself.

Now I go to Confession bi-weekly. (I’m going to have to put a ‘C’ on a calendar. I have a good memory – it’s just a little short.)

I think the most important thing we need to do is to find an examination of conscience that helps identifying our sins. The Holy Spirit can be of assistance here. Also our Guardian Angel, as he has been a spectator of all our crimes.

Reg.