Confessing Venial Sins

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Faith1960

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I was out to dinner with some friends of mine a few nights ago and I’d mentioned my going to confession recently, before Christmas. A friend jokingly asked what I’d confessed. I just smiled and made a signal that I’m buttoning my lips and tossing away the key. Someone else commented on my not having much TO confess. I had several venial sins to confess and thought that it’s recommended we go to confession at least once a year. My BibleStudy teacher is big on confession. On average, I probably go a couple times a year.

The thing that brought me to confession this time was mainly my holding on to anger and being unforgiving about something that happened about 12 or 13 years ago. Long story short, my daughter had been bullied and I’ve been unable to forgive the kids who bullied her, or the adults (teachers, parents, school counselor who did nothing to help).

Anyway, I think my daughter is way past the situation but I’ve been holding on to a lot of anger and hurt, though I think I’m feeling better about it since I took it to confession a couple weeks ago.

For about a year and a half to two years, I’ve been put into a couple situations where I’ve encountered the former school counselor and a mother of one of the bullies. (I belong to two Bible Studies; and each woman is in them). I don’t know if the counselor even remembers me and I’m fairly certain that the mother of one of the bullies is oblivious to her daughter’s former behavior. I’ve felt that the Lord is placing these women in my life after all this time to teach me something; maybe forgiveness.

How often do you all go to confession? Do you confess venial sins regularly? How do you get past anger and hurt and know that you’ve forgiven someone when the hurt is still there?
 
Faith1960 said:
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How often do you all go to confession? Do you confess venial sins regularly? How do you get past anger and hurt and know that you’ve forgiven someone when the hurt is still there?
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I just got back from confession. I go weekly, sometimes more. By the grace of God I haven’t committed a mortal sin in almost two years, so I’m always confessing venial sins, but I confess them with the root vice and the why I commit them. This gets to the root of the problem and helps me to overcome them.

As for the anger and forgiving people, it’s hard. It’s mostly time, prayer, and not thinking about the people or incidents that caused your anger. You can pray for the grave of purification of the memory.
 
I like to go weekly. Confession is the best time when you get back up on your feet and try to a saint and over come vices with virtues. In confession you can also ask the priest questions regarding certain situations, like yours. He should give you spiritual direction.
 
I go to confession typically every 2 weeks on my off-work weekend. Usually I’m confessing venial sins, I think, and I hope I’m not lying, that I haven’t committed a mortal one in at least 2 years. 😛 As for me and anger though, it’s never been much a of a problem for me. I’ve had instances where I was angry w/ someone for a while but my way of thinking is something like, “It takes too much energy to hate”, and so, I don’t. I was bullied all the way through grade school, and periodically in highschool. I still look back on that time with sadness, but I’m not angry with the kids who did it, they were just kids too. I don’t know if anyone will ever understand what it is that makes kids act that way, but they do. Some people say that bullying is a way of making the weaker kids “toughen up”, but I don’t think that’s true since it took me YEARS to get over it. I doubt that’s really something you want to hear, but in the end it did leave me with a sense of empathy for those who are mistreated, and in that way, something bad can be turned into something good. I survived it and thus now I have a deeper understanding, as an adult, into forgiveness and empathy, and since I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end I find myself trying to make sure that I’m not on the giving end.

As for the parents, I think kids are very clever! My mom also confronted one of my bullies parents about it, and she too denied that her son was like that. I would assume that either she was not willing to admit that her son was not a very nice boy…or that her son was smart enough to be kind when adults were looking. I’m fairly certain it was the latter since I can recall a specific incident where I had been pushed or somehow knocked down, the teacher was there and my bully comes up to me and asks me if I’m okay…lets just say I had a minor verbal eruption toward him LOL. So it is possible that the other parents don’t know about how their child treats others, and if they think that their child is a kind and friendly sort, then they might be more inclined to think that your child must be over reacting or lying. Whether or not it’s reality…

If it’s any consolation, I think my mom is in the same boat that you were. If it’s ever brought up even nowadays, she’s usually more angry sounding than I am. So, you’re not alone in anycase. And, sorry for the long rambling response lol
 
I try to go monthly, though in practice it often stretches out to every six weeks or so. This is definitely not frequently enough! I tend to get too comfortable and complacent in my sins if I go for 6 or 8 weeks. Really, I think I ought to go every couple of weeks.
 
I was away from the Church for over 50 years, despite having gone to a Jesuit parochial school for 9 years.
I won’t go into what triggered my return, but something happened that was colse to a miricle and it truely put the fear of G*d into me.
Since I have returned, all of my early pre-V II training has come back-like I say Holy Ghost instead of Holy Spirit, but I have gone back to the old practice of weekly Confession. I use the internet to help me examine my conscience. Yes, most of what I convess are venial sins…but they really add up and put one on the edge of more serious transgressions. So, frequent Confessions should be the norm. Never forget that we are all sinners, and when the Pope goes to Confession more than once a week, we should learn from that.
 
George_Stegmeir said:
I was away from the Church for over 50 years, despite having gone to a Jesuit parochial school for 9 years.
I won’t go into what triggered my return, but something happened that was colse to a miricle and it truely put the fear of G*d into me.
Since I have returned, all of my early pre-V II training has come back-like I say Holy Ghost instead of Holy Spirit, but I have gone back to the old practice of weekly Confession. I use the internet to help me examine my conscience. Yes, most of what I convess are venial sins…but they really add up and put one on the edge of more serious transgressions. So, frequent Confessions should be the norm. Never forget that we are all sinners, and when the Pope goes to Confession more than once a week, we should learn from that.
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right
 
Faith1960 said:
I was out to dinner with some friends of mine a few nights ago and I’d mentioned my going to confession recently, before Christmas. A friend jokingly asked what I’d confessed. I just smiled and made a signal that I’m buttoning my lips and tossing away the key. Someone else commented on my not having much TO confess. I had several venial sins to confess and thought that it’s recommended we go to confession at least once a year. My BibleStudy teacher is big on confession. On average, I probably go a couple times a year.

The thing that brought me to confession this time was mainly my holding on to anger and being unforgiving about something that happened about 12 or 13 years ago. Long story short, my daughter had been bullied and I’ve been unable to forgive the kids who bullied her, or the adults (teachers, parents, school counselor who did nothing to help).

Anyway, I think my daughter is way past the situation but I’ve been holding on to a lot of anger and hurt, though I think I’m feeling better about it since I took it to confession a couple weeks ago.

For about a year and a half to two years, I’ve been put into a couple situations where I’ve encountered the former school counselor and a mother of one of the bullies. (I belong to two Bible Studies; and each woman is in them). I don’t know if the counselor even remembers me and I’m fairly certain that the mother of one of the bullies is oblivious to her daughter’s former behavior. I’ve felt that the Lord is placing these women in my life after all this time to teach me something; maybe forgiveness.

How often do you all go to confession? Do you confess venial sins regularly? How do you get past anger and hurt and know that you’ve forgiven someone when the hurt is still there?
Click to expand...
Thank you for this thread.
 
How often do you all go to confession? Do you confess venial sins regularly? How do you get past anger and hurt and know that you’ve forgiven someone when the hurt is still there?

I try to get to confession at least once a month, any longer than that is not good for me. I’m going to try harder at getting there 2x/month in this new year. Yes, thank the Lord, venial sins are what I find myself bringing to the confessional, but far be it for me to say that any sin against our Lord is minor or trivial. Thankfully, I grieve for my offenses against Him and strive to live a more holy life.

God bless.
 
At Friday’s Mass, the 1st Reading included this from 1 John 1:8 and 1:10:

“If we say, ‘We are without sin,’ we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us”
and “If we say, ‘We have not sinned,’ we make him a liar and his word is not with us.”

This made me consider that I am not going to confession as often as I should. I also listened to a homily yesterday by the Fathers of Mercy and Father basically said that we should be going to confess our sins - however small they may be - about once a month. We all have heard how “small” sins can become more serious if we try to ignore them and believe that they are not affecting our lives. Father also reminded us of Matthew 20:16 “Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last”. Why? Because the person we wouldn’t assume to be Heaven-bound confessed all of their sins and we did not!

I, myself, am committing to a monthly Reconciliation from this day forward. Hope this helps!

God Bless!
WmHere
 
Faith1960 said:
How often do you all go to confession? Do you confess venial sins regularly? How do you get past anger and hurt and know that you’ve forgiven someone when the hurt is still there?
Click to expand...
I confess about once a month. I confess venial sins regularly.** “How do you …] know that you’ve forgiven someone when the hurt is still there?”** Perhaps when you can honestly pray like Christ did: “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” or like St Stephen while being martyred: “Lord, lay not this sin to their charge.”

Eternity in Hell will be the price for their sins unless they have received Christ’s payment for them. All sins are paid for, one way or another. 🙂
 
i go whenever needed… i once read that going often to confess even venial sins is a good thing… you are just making your faith that much stronger, you are being able to tell more and more between right and wrong and ultimately can come to perfection, isnt that the goal?

it helps espieclaly if you are new and cannot tell between virtues and vices… the more you know them the more you can confess them.
I know pope john paul the second went something like twice a week, so why shouldnt we?
 
I was away from confession for years until last week. I’m planning to go monthly.

One thing I do for things that I’m having trouble letting go is I pray asking God to change my heart. I know that I SHOULD forgive those people or let the anger go or whatever, but sometimes I can’t get there. So even when I’m not there yet, I know I should be and I ask God for help in that.
 
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