Confession, Absolution and Scruples

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Douaiman

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I’ve struggled for many years with scrupulosity and keep count of my sins fairly strictly in the form of a list, for when I go to confession.

This week was my first confession in a long while. I knew from the list I keep that my last confession was on a specific date, yet rather than say ‘22 months and so many days’ I said ‘almost two years’ since my last one.

I also didn’t give my exact numbers for each sin despite having them to hand, to the best of my knowledge. Instead, I rounded up and said ‘nearly ten times’ when I knew the number was 8. This was, I think, down to anxiety and nerves and not to deliberately fool the priest or mislead him.

My question is, was I absolved despite not giving the exact numbers and dates? I suspect the answers I’ll get, reminding me to let go of lists and formulas and trust in God’s mercy, but I couldn’t hold into this worry any more.
 
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You did the best you could. Let it go, if the priest gave you absolution.
 
Do you have OCD? In all honesty keeping track of one’s sins as in counting them is not healthy…this is one area I completely disagree with in Roman Catholicism.

You confessed, God knows what is in your heart…confession isn’t just about receiving absolution, it’s also about receiving counsel from your confessor/spiritual father. I’m Eastern so I am coming at it from an Eastern point of view. I do have OCD and the obsession with sin is one of the things I have struggled with in the past so I can understand where you are coming from.
 
Giving the number of sins is to help them know if it’s like a thing you’re weak to or have an addiction with. It is not like you were trying to downplay your sin, you confessed above the number you actually did. Relax and just mention it next time if it’s really bothering you
 
I already do that. It meant that my list begins with the date of my last confession.
 
I recently went to confession after 40-plus years, the priest told me to focus on confessing my sins and not to worry so much on how many times. He was more concerned about my confession and my being sorry for the sins, and in me making a good act of contrition. He said if I forgot some sins not to worry about. As long as I was not trying to intentionally hold back anything. He said my sins were absolved. What a blessing! Hallelujah!
May you find the love and peace of Jesus Christ!
 
Confession is meant to be a place you can leave at peace. You would know if you invalidated the confession; you cannot accidentally invalidate your confession.
Douaiman said:
This was, I think, down to anxiety and nerves and not to deliberately fool the priest or mislead him.
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If you are not sure what your intentions were, then they cannot have been grave, unless you have memory loss.

If everything you said is true, you did not knowingly and purposefully leave out any mortal sins, and you are sorry for your sins, your confession was valid.

Be at peace.

EDIT: I would also strongly recommend you speak with your spiritual director about your list (not the sins on it, but its very existence). I personally don’t think that is very healthy.
 
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Don’t get hung up on the how long it has been, how many times you committed a sin, etc.
The main thing is to try to confess as many sins, especially mortal sins, that you can remember.
Say that you are sorry and that you resolve to amend your life.
Say your penance and ask God for forgiveness.
You will be absolved of all sins you confess and of those you did not intentionally forget.
 
Yes. Once you receive absolution, it is a time to celebrate!!!
 
It’s okay to round off, especially if it’s been a long time since your last confession, and as long as you said “nearly” or “almost” or “about”
I say “about” just to make sure I’m not lying, since I can’t always remember all of my sins.
It’s good idea to use a list, it actually cuts down on scrupulosity, I think. Because that way, your not always trying to keep all the sins stored in your brain. You can write them down on a paper, and that way you won’t have to worry about forgetting them.
 
Absolution is absolution. As long as you sincerely tried to confess your sins and are sincerely sorry for those sins. 🙏🙏🙏
 
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