Confession Advice

[MariaRose383]

Hello everyone,

On Saturday I went to my first confession in about 8 years and although it went ok, I am still a bit confused.

When I entered, I pulled back the curtain so I could see the priest as I was a bit unsure of what I was doing.

He then prompted the start by making the sign of the cross which I followed and then I carried on with the “Forgive me Father”.

My question is, if I were to leave the curtain shut, how/who would begin?

Would I start with “Forgive me Father”?

Thank you for your advice

Maria

 

[YoungTradCath]

The most common way to begin confession is, “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been (amount of time) since my last confession.”

 

[MariaRose383]

Do I need to wait for the Priest to say anything first?

 

[asia53]

Do I need to wait for the Priest to say anything first?

It depends on the Priest. I’ve started first, if the Priest didn’t greet me, say Hello, or welcome me, etc.

This is what I do: I enter the confessional, or confession room, settle myself, and my belongings, if the Priest says nothing, then I say—“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…”

 

[MariaRose383]

Thank you very much! I’ll feel much less awkward next time!

 

[kimbari]

I thoght it was “Bless me, Father…”. Has that changed (and nobody told me)?

 

[KenChute]

Be careful stating time since last confession, a dear friend of mine did not go for 15 yrs and the Priest did not allow the confession to proceed,

 

[Bookcat]

One can start “+ In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” …then proceed with…my last confession was…I am married with 2 children …I accuse myself of ( all mortal sins in number and kind (murder 3x) and circumstance that changes the it -like it was your brother you murdered…and then any venial sins one wishes to confess (with or without numbers) …and all the sins of my life especially those of (one can add a general sin you are sorry for).

If it has been years…the priest will be very glad to assist you…and welcome you home.

 

[YoungTradCath]

Be careful stating time since last confession, a dear friend of mine did not go for 15 yrs and the Priest did not allow the confession to proceed,

That seems ridiculous beyond belief.

 

[asia53]

I thoght it was “Bless me, Father…”. Has that changed (and nobody told me)?

It is! See what you get when you’re in a hurry. Thank you.

 

[KenChute]

That seems ridiculous beyond belief.

Indeed. Since then I have advised talking with a Priest before any lengthy periods between confession. Teachable moment.

 

[asia53]

Be careful stating time since last confession, a dear friend of mine did not go for 15 yrs and the Priest did not allow the confession to proceed,

Our priest will do the same, except, he’ll ask if they want to make a good confession. He gives them the parish office phone number, his extension for his voice mail, and asked them to call him for a private appointment.

My friend, who hadn’t confessed in many, many years, told me, otherwise, I would have never known.

 

[anodos]

Our priest will do the same, except, he’ll ask if they want to make a good confession. He gives them the parish office phone number, his extension for his voice mail, and asked them to call him for a private appointment.

Uh oh. It sounds like he expected a long visit. My first confession, 8 years after baptism, took less than 5 minutes, even after examinations of conscience (some of them were big and complicated, though, and might have taken longer if the priest had asked for details)…how can I tell if I had a long enough list?? I only confessed mortal sins; I wasn’t sure that all of the venial sins I came up with were even sins. (I don’t get out much.) Did I do bad? Is it more common to have several pages?

 

[jmcrae]

Uh oh. It sounds like he expected a long visit. My first confession, 8 years after baptism, took less than 5 minutes, even after examinations of conscience (some of them were big and complicated, though, and might have taken longer if the priest had asked for details)…how can I tell if I had a long enough list?? I only confessed mortal sins; I wasn’t sure that all of the venial sins I came up with were even sins. (I don’t get out much.) Did I do bad? Is it more common to have several pages?

You had a long enough list if you included everything you can remember, that you knew at the time was against God’s will but you did it anyway. It’s not uncommon for that to be a short list, especially if you were baptized as an adult and lived a Christian lifestyle as best you could in the time between. I would say, don’t worry about it.

 

[asia53]

Uh oh. It sounds like he expected a long visit. My first confession, 8 years after baptism, took less than 5 minutes, even after examinations of conscience (some of them were big and complicated, though, and might have taken longer if the priest had asked for details)…how can I tell if I had a long enough list?? I only confessed mortal sins; I wasn’t sure that all of the venial sins I came up with were even sins. (I don’t get out much.) Did I do bad? Is it more common to have several pages?

My friend told me, Father M talked with him for a long time about why he stayed away from the Church for 35 years. A very nice counseling session is what my friend called it. I imagine, though my friend never told me the particulars of his sins—after 35 years, you’d have a bit of explaining to do!

 

[anodos]

You had a long enough list if you included everything you can remember, that you knew at the time was against God’s will but you did it anyway. It’s not uncommon for that to be a short list, especially if you were baptized as an adult and lived a Christian lifestyle as best you could in the time between. I would say, don’t worry about it.

Thanks!

 

[PJM]

=MariaRose383;8767107]Hello everyone,

On Saturday I went to my first confession in about 8 years and although it went ok, I am still a bit confused.

When I entered, I pulled back the curtain so I could see the priest as I was a bit unsure of what I was doing.

He then prompted the start by making the sign of the cross which I followed and then I carried on with the “Forgive me Father”.

My question is, if I were to leave the curtain shut, how/who would begin?

Would I start with “Forgive me Father”?

Thank you for your advice

WELCOME HOME!

One can opt to Confess face to face or behind the curtain.

We begin by saying as we “cross ourselves”

“BLESS FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED; IT HAS BEEN-------- SINCE BY LAST CONFESSION”

It REMAINS God Who actually forgives our sins which is why Father uses the term 'I Absolve you" NOT I “forgive you.”

Welcome Home dear friend!

Luke.15: 7 "Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."

What a AWESOME Gift you gave back to jesus for Christmas!

GOD BLESS YOU!

Pat

If you have any other faith questions PLEASE send me a Private Message and I’ll help you out!

 

[ByzCathCantor]

Be careful stating time since last confession, a dear friend of mine did not go for 15 yrs and the Priest did not allow the confession to proceed,

That seems ridiculous beyond belief.

If that is true, the friend should have sought another confessor. A priest has no right to deny confession given the time span since one’s last confession. In fact, the return to the Church via the sacrament of reconciliation in this case should have been embraced.

Can. 980 If the confessor has no doubt about the disposition of the penitent, and the penitent seeks absolution, absolution is to be neither refused nor deferred.

A priest cannot refuse to hear a confession, except as caveated above. Even someone who had been to confession daily might be doing so without being properly disposed. I pray a priest would, if doubt existed, offer to counsel the individual privately beforehand.

What if the poor wounded soul, having sincere, penitent heart and intending to make a faithful act of contrition, were to be hit by a bus after leaving the Church from where he was denied reconciliation?

 

[LilyM]

If that is true, the friend should have sought another confessor. A priest has no right to deny confession given the time span since one’s last confession. In fact, the return to the Church via the sacrament of reconciliation in this case should have been embraced.

A priest cannot refuse to hear a confession.

A priest can and should refuse to hear a confession if, as the Canon states, he has doubts about the disposition of the penitent. That includes the penitent’s preparedness or understanding of the sacrament. And after many years away he might (in some cases) reasonably have doubts about both. We aren’t privy to what was said in the confessional, so we don’t know that the priest didn’t have reason.

Now I went about a dozen years between confessions - the priest didn’t refuse to hear me. But given how much I’d forgotten in the meantime it might’ve been better if he’d referred me to a good examination of conscience booklet and told me to come back a little later after I’d gone through it.

 

[ByzCathCantor]

A priest can and should refuse to hear a confession if, as the Canon states, he has doubts about the disposition of the penitent. That includes the penitent’s preparedness or understanding of the sacrament. And after many years away he might (in some cases) reasonably have doubts about both. We aren’t privy to what was said in the confessional, so we don’t know that the priest didn’t have reason.

Now I went about a dozen years between confessions - the priest didn’t refuse to hear me. But given how much I’d forgotten in the meantime it might’ve been better if he’d referred me to a good examination of conscience booklet and told me to come back a little later after I’d gone through it.

I concur that he has a right if doubt exists as to the disposition of the penitant, as per the Canon, but the timespan between confessions should not be an automatic disqualifier. Discretion must be exercised, and yes we pray the priest exercises such discretion well. Doubt may exist as to penitential intent even if someone confesses regularly.

I will admit that this subject hits me with some extraordinary level of sensitivity, as I know of too many instances where truly repentant souls wished to return to the Church, rightfully looking to confession as the means, only to be turned or frightened away, Granted, in such a case, a little bit of self-initiated counseling with a priest could have likely prevented such instances. But a true penitant should never be turned away! What would Jesus have done? But of course, Jesus would have known whether or not the person seeking forgiveness was truly repentant!