Confession Advice

[KenChute]

Our priest will do the same, except, he’ll ask if they want to make a good confession. He gives them the parish office phone number, his extension for his voice mail, and asked them to call him for a private appointment.

My friend, who hadn’t confessed in many, many years, told me, otherwise, I would have never known.

My experience is if the Priest does not know if you are in mortal sin, intent to change lifestyle, length between confession oddly long, several other reasons confession can be denied, its a Priest by Priest situation.

 

[YoungTradCath]

A priest can and should refuse to hear a confession if, as the Canon states, he has doubts about the disposition of the penitent. That includes the penitent’s preparedness or understanding of the sacrament. And after many years away he might (in some cases) reasonably have doubts about both. We aren’t privy to what was said in the confessional, so we don’t know that the priest didn’t have reason.

Now I went about a dozen years between confessions - the priest didn’t refuse to hear me. But given how much I’d forgotten in the meantime it might’ve been better if he’d referred me to a good examination of conscience booklet and told me to come back a little later after I’d gone through it.

And what happens when someone truly has a mortal sin to confess and Father just says, “Oh sorry, I don’t believe you’re repentant?” What if that person walks out of the church and gets killed? I guess he just goes to hell. Oh well.

 

[LilyM]

And what happens when someone truly has a mortal sin to confess and Father just says, “Oh sorry, I don’t believe you’re repentant?” What if that person walks out of the church and gets killed? I guess he just goes to hell. Oh well.

Are you unaware of the concept of perfect contrition? If someone truly repents their sins out of love of God, but through no fault of their own is unable to obtain sacramental absolution, they will be saved even if they die without sacramental absolution.

The person in your scenario, assuming they are truly repentant and the priest is wrong, is in the same boat as someone who is dying but is in the middle of the desert hundreds of miles from any priest, or who is hit by a bus on their way to confession and dies without being able to go, or whatnot.

God doesn’t require the impossible, and makes allowances for things that happen through no fault of our own.

 

[YoungTradCath]

Are you unaware of the concept of perfect contrition? If someone truly repents their sins out of love of God, but through no fault of their own is unable to obtain sacramental absolution, they will be saved even if they die without sacramental absolution.

The person in your scenario, assuming they are truly repentant and the priest is wrong, is in the same boat as someone who is dying but is in the middle of the desert hundreds of miles from any priest, or who is hit by a bus on their way to confession and dies without being able to go, or whatnot.

God doesn’t require the impossible, and makes allowances for things that happen through no fault of our own.

But how do you know that you are perfectly contrite? Maybe it’s bad to say, but I don’t feel a bunch of gooey sadness whenever I confess. I feel more along the lines of, “This is wrong, I know that, now I shall confess it.”

What does “truly repentant” mean? Is this some feelings thing?

 

[MartyrForJesus]

The most common way to begin confession is, “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been (amount of time) since my last confession.”

I think it’s “Bless” rather than “Forgive”.

 

[MartyrForJesus]

But how do you know that you are perfectly contrite? Maybe it’s bad to say, but I don’t feel a bunch of gooey sadness whenever I confess. I feel more along the lines of, “This is wrong, I know that, now I shall confess it.”

What does “truly repentant” mean? Is this some feelings thing?

If they want absolution.

 

[jmcrae]

But how do you know that you are perfectly contrite? Maybe it’s bad to say, but I don’t feel a bunch of gooey sadness whenever I confess. I feel more along the lines of, “This is wrong, I know that, now I shall confess it.”

What does “truly repentant” mean? Is this some feelings thing?

No. As a “traditional Catholic” this should be a familiar concept for you, since it is very traditional to believe that repentance is required for a good Confession.

If you are truly repentant, you may or may not cry tears of sorrow for the sins you committed, but you are at least ashamed of them and resolved not to commit them again, because you place a high value on what Jesus thinks of you.

 

[YoungTradCath]

I think it’s “Bless” rather than “Forgive”.

I’ve never heard “bless.”

If they want absolution.

Well that seems basic enough.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

My friend told me, Father M talked with him for a long time about why he stayed away from the Church for 35 years. A very nice counseling session is what my friend called it. I imagine, though my friend never told me the particulars of his sins—after 35 years, you’d have a bit of explaining to do!

Also, with a time period this long the priest may have wanted to spend more than a few minutes with the penitent to give him time to ask questions, etc. So in order to be considerate to others waiting, he scheduled the appointment. Makes sense to me.

When I returned to regular confession, I had called the parish and spoke to the priest who told me I could simply go to confession and return to all the sacraments. I suppose if I had a lot of questions or seemed less prepared, he would have asked me to come in for an appointment.

As to the person who asked if after 8 years the list should have been longer - no not really. There is usually a period of time when someone is a young adult that they may live more “outside” the commandments. However, even so, after a good examine, confession of just mortal sins doesn’t need to take forever. As you say, some people get out more than others.

 

[PJM]

Originally Posted by KenChute
Be careful stating time since last confession, a dear friend of mine did not go for 15 yrs and the Priest did not allow the confession to proceed,

For the frist time in nearly 7,000 post I’m going to say that this is NOT even a possibility UNLESS other issues were involved that we do not know about

God Bless,
Pat

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I think it’s “Bless” rather than “Forgive”.

Based on what my priest, who’s a member of the FSSP, said in the old form, and traditionally, the penitent says “bless” because the priest actually gives the penitent a blessing to make a good confession. (“May the Lord be in thy heart and on thy lips, so that thou mayest rightly confess all thy sins.”) My priest does this as the penitent is entering the Confessional, and then he makes the sign on the cross over the penitent (through the screen) while saying “In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti”, which is when I make the sign of the cross.

I’m young, so I this isn’t the form I was taught when I was making my first Confession. I don’t remember what I was taught, but I do remember as I got older and learned more, I was over-whelmed with how many different possible ways Confession could go that I became quite uncomfortable with it and everything I had to remember.