Confession advice

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LiveforChrist

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Hey Everyone,

So I have kind of a strange question…
Every time I go to confession I struggle with finding things to confess. I know I’ve got to be sinning cause it’s impossible not to… But I go through extensive examinations of conscience and I cannot seem to ever find things that apply to me. I’m being truthful with myself yet I still struggle with finding things to confess. :confused: Does anyone else struggle with this? :o

Thanks,
LiveForChrist
 
The more I learn and read about sin the more sins I find that need to be confessed. When you go through an examination of conscience, look past what each question is asking and look to see if there’s anything you did that might apply, but is not listed. Also, read up on the different sins to see what falls under them. Study the 7 deadly sins and their corresponding virtues (by study, I mean get an actual book that explains them), the three cardinal virtues. The more you learn, the more you’ll have to confess.

Also, examine your conscience daily, and keep a list that you can refer back to when it’s time to go to confession.

Don’t get complacent with using the same examination of conscience. There are different ones out there that aren’t solely based on the 10 commandments.
 
If one does not have mortal sin (hopefully the norm) one can confess even a single venial sin that one is sorry for etc and then end it "all the sins since my baptism especially those of anger (or whatever sin one wants to mention in general). One could even mention an already confessed and absolved sin (again with contrition etc) (those with scruples see your confessor).

I accuse myself of intemperance in eating and I renew my sorrow for a past sin of serious theft* and all my sins since my baptism (or all the sins of my life -I assume you were baptized as an infant).

The practice of Examining your conscience daily in the evening or night and you will help you begin to see more.

(*one need not say the actual kind here for it was already confessed and absolved)
 
Ask the people around you. They’ll be happy to point out your many sins! 😃
 
LiveforChrist said:
Hey Everyone,

So I have kind of a strange question…
Every time I go to confession I struggle with finding things to confess. I know I’ve got to be sinning cause it’s impossible not to… But I go through extensive examinations of conscience and I cannot seem to ever find things that apply to me. I’m being truthful with myself yet I still struggle with finding things to confess. :confused: Does anyone else struggle with this? :o

Thanks,
LiveForChrist
Click to expand...
Well…I think that there is one problem that should be addressed right away…And I will likely get hammered for saying this but there goes…
It is wrong to say that “it is impossible not to sin”.

Now - before anyone has a heart attack here, allow me to explain.

It is a true statement that it is (virtually) impossible to never have sinned, and I’m speaking here of personal sin, not original sin.
However it is possible (though difficult) to not have sinned in a given period of time…whether that be an hour, a day a week, a month…whatever time between a person’s confessions.

Speaking for myself, and because of my particular life circumstances, I too have trouble coming up with “sins”, of an overt nature, that I might have committed. I do not say this as a braggart would, for I know that I am far from perfect as we are called to be in Mt 5:48.
Rather, because I am largely home bound, with limited social contact and interaction and because my time is large centered around care giving, there is little opportunity for the regular and common sort of “sins” that many of us deal with.
So - “LiveforChrist” - I can fully understand your dilemma.

Now - having said all of that, let me say that I agree with “Deo-Gratias42” above when he says that the more we learn about “sin” the more we find to confess. Allow me to share some points I discovered during my journey back into the Church.
  1. During my studies, I discovered that the term “sin”, in the original Greek and Hebrew, meant “Error” and “taking the wrong path” in addition to the commonly understood meaning of disobedience to God’s commandments. So in other words, we can “sin” in ways other than what we might normally think of.
  2. As I was coming home to the Church (after 35 years) I was confronted with the shear enormity of both quantity and severity of the sins I had committed. I finally resolved this matter by using a different approach. Instead of using the more common “ten commandment” approach, I used the “Seven Deadly Sins” as my basis. This was useful because rather than pointing to specific instances and actions, these point to the “Root causes”, the flaws in my spirit life that led to the various actions over the years. In fact upon careful reflection I was able to discern how permitting one deadly sin to take hold led to others…I was a mess.
  3. Further reading, particularly in the Mystic Tradition of the Church (see my signature for an excellent book on this) confirmed much of this for me…That the more we understand about our character flaws and errors in our thinking, the more we recognize as “sinful”.
CAUTION:
In what I have written here may lay the seeds of scrupulosity for some. Therefore I cannot stress too strongly, that one needs to approach these matters carefully, prayerfully, and with a good confessor/spiritual adviser.
A good balance must be maintained as we move forward in faith.

Peace
James
 
LiveforChrist said:
Hey Everyone,

So I have kind of a strange question…
Every time I go to confession I struggle with finding things to confess. I know I’ve got to be sinning cause it’s impossible not to… But I go through extensive examinations of conscience and I cannot seem to ever find things that apply to me. I’m being truthful with myself yet I still struggle with finding things to confess. :confused: Does anyone else struggle with this? :o

Thanks,
LiveForChrist
Click to expand...
I know that even if I don’t have anything in particular to confess, I can always confess places where I am lacking in my relationship with God.

For an example of this, look at the lives of the Saints, like St Teresa of Avila, St Francis, especially St. Francis.

The holier one becomes, the more acutely aware one is of one’s sins.

Do we give God the priority he deserves in our lives?
Are we as loving as we can be to our neighbors?
Are we ever selfish in our actions?
Do we feel a little envious at the fortune or talent of others?
Do we spend time on the internet when we can be spending time in prayer?
Are we grateful for the little things that God does for us in our lives?

It is said that the holier one becomes, the more humble one becomes.
 
TrueLight said:
I know that even if I don’t have anything in particular to confess, I can always confess places where I am lacking in my relationship with God.

For an example of this, look at the lives of the Saints, like St Teresa of Avila, St Francis, especially St. Francis.

The holier one becomes, the more acutely aware one is of one’s your sins.

Do we give God the priority he deserves in our lives?
Are we as loving as we can be to our neighbors?
Are we ever selfish in our actions?
Do we feel a little envious at the fortune or talent of others?
Do we spend time on the internet when we can be spending time in prayer?
Are we grateful for the little things that God does for us in our lives?

It is said that the holier one becomes, the more humble one becomes.
Click to expand...
👍👍👍
 
LiveforChrist said:
Hey Everyone,

So I have kind of a strange question…
Every time I go to confession I struggle with finding things to confess. I know I’ve got to be sinning cause it’s impossible not to… But I go through extensive examinations of conscience and I cannot seem to ever find things that apply to me. I’m being truthful with myself yet I still struggle with finding things to confess. :confused: Does anyone else struggle with this? :o

Thanks,
LiveForChrist
Click to expand...
Yes, I struggle with this too.
 
As we progress in holiness, hopefully we are not commiting the “big” sins (mortal sins) any longer. But that doesn’t mean we no longer have nothing to confess.

Let’s thank God we are not breaking the 10 Commandments or committing mortal sins!

It was suggested to me to start doing my examination of conscience by reading the Beatitudes given at the Sermon on the Mount. I can see in my daily life how I am not meek, nor merciful; also another good question for self-examination is: “Have I interacted with others as I would if it were Christ himself I’m dealing with?” Usually my answer is always “no”.

I am grateful I have the opportunity to examen my faults and with God’s grace to slowly decrease the frequency with which I sin. But I will never not have “nothing” to confess!
 
When I do an examination of conscience in the evening I usually identify a couple of obvious things, but I know I am far from perfect. I just usually identify what I can and ask for forgiveness also for my multiple for my blind spots.

I think if we are actively trying to increase in virtue, and look at Christ, Mary and the other Saints we are always going to find some areas of selfishness which we can confess and work on with the help of God’s grace.
 
One asks oneself what types of sins Blessed John Paul II confessed each week, or Blessed Theresa of Calcutta (Mother Theresa), etc. Our Lord Himself told St. Faustina that if she were to see the state of her soul the way that God sees it, she could not take it and essentially would die. Again, if the Lord can say this to a religious on her way to being a saint, surely we all can probe ourselves and find evidence of sins committed.
 
I don’t mean to steal the OP’s thread, I think this is related…

If you go through an examination of conscience (like the one someone posted) and come up with some things to confess, then you just state them at confession, what if the priest asks you to explain? But you don’t really know/understand what you are confessing? Or are just bad at explaining because you are so nervous?

I have similar issues as the OP. Now that I’ve finally stopped overt mortal sin, I know I do little sins but it sounds sort of silly when I confess them and also I am always concerned the priest will want to know more and tell me it’s not a sin. So then I feel stupid for not knowing what is a sin or not.

For example, I went to confession this week at the church communal service and the priest said things like “you don’t have to be perfect.” Also talking about people “it’s sometimes necessary to stand up for the right.” It’s just all so confusing. And then I suspect there is some beginning scrupulosity going on in me. How would I know? ARE we supposed to be perfect or not? And if you can’t be perfect and God forgives our humanness, then why confess at all? Just know that God forgives and is helping you to gradually change as you grow in Christ.

Shouldn’t we have joy in the catholic life, not always thinking about sin? How do you deal with this?

Also, I hear all the time if you don’t have peace it’s not from God. So all the confession stuff makes me SO anxious. How could that be from God then? It’s not that I don’t believe I am a sinner, it’s the actual confession itself that makes me crazy anxious. I just don’t seem to “get it” the way some people do. And I suspect it’s because I grew up in the 50s when there was so much condemnation in the church.
 
Remembering that we are mere humans and prone to fall into error, we need to accept that a truthfull and concientious examination of our erroneous ways is a very adequate way to confess. We can be led to scrupulosity by agonising over tiny transgressions which will only lead us to personal self denunciation. As has been stated elsewhere if you are lacking in venial sins to confess, you can always display regret and sorrow for past transgressions.
Our Lord accepts our sorrowfulness for how we truthfully present it to Him.
 
JRKH said:
Well…I think that there is one problem that should be addressed right away…And I will likely get hammered for saying this but there goes…
It is wrong to say that “it is impossible not to sin”.

Now - before anyone has a heart attack here, allow me to explain.

It is a true statement that it is (virtually) impossible to never have sinned, and I’m speaking here of personal sin, not original sin.
However it is possible (though difficult) to not have sinned in a given period of time…whether that be an hour, a day a week, a month…whatever time between a person’s confessions.

Speaking for myself, and because of my particular life circumstances, I too have trouble coming up with “sins”, of an overt nature, that I might have committed. I do not say this as a braggart would, for I know that I am far from perfect as we are called to be in Mt 5:48.
Rather, because I am largely home bound, with limited social contact and interaction and because my time is large centered around care giving, there is little opportunity for the regular and common sort of “sins” that many of us deal with.
So - “LiveforChrist” - I can fully understand your dilemma.

Now - having said all of that, let me say that I agree with “Deo-Gratias42” above when he says that the more we learn about “sin” the more we find to confess. Allow me to share some points I discovered during my journey back into the Church.
  1. During my studies, I discovered that the term “sin”, in the original Greek and Hebrew, meant “Error” and “taking the wrong path” in addition to the commonly understood meaning of disobedience to God’s commandments. So in other words, we can “sin” in ways other than what we might normally think of.
  2. As I was coming home to the Church (after 35 years) I was confronted with the shear enormity of both quantity and severity of the sins I had committed. I finally resolved this matter by using a different approach. Instead of using the more common “ten commandment” approach, I used the “Seven Deadly Sins” as my basis. This was useful because rather than pointing to specific instances and actions, these point to the “Root causes”, the flaws in my spirit life that led to the various actions over the years. In fact upon careful reflection I was able to discern how permitting one deadly sin to take hold led to others…I was a mess.
  3. Further reading, particularly in the Mystic Tradition of the Church (see my signature for an excellent book on this) confirmed much of this for me…That the more we understand about our character flaws and errors in our thinking, the more we recognize as “sinful”.
CAUTION:
In what I have written here may lay the seeds of scrupulosity for some. Therefore I cannot stress too strongly, that one needs to approach these matters carefully, prayerfully, and with a good confessor/spiritual adviser.
A good balance must be maintained as we move forward in faith.

Peace
James
Click to expand...
TrueLight said:
I know that even if I don’t have anything in particular to confess, I can always confess places where I am lacking in my relationship with God.

For an example of this, look at the lives of the Saints, like St Teresa of Avila, St Francis, especially St. Francis.

The holier one becomes, the more acutely aware one is of one’s sins.

Do we give God the priority he deserves in our lives?
Are we as loving as we can be to our neighbors?
Are we ever selfish in our actions?
Do we feel a little envious at the fortune or talent of others?
Do we spend time on the internet when we can be spending time in prayer?
Are we grateful for the little things that God does for us in our lives?

It is said that the holier one becomes, the more humble one becomes.
Click to expand...
👍 Wonderful advice!!! Thank you both!! 😃
 
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