Confession.... Am I a dope?

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ifrydr

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Ok, I am 44 years old, therefore I have 44 years of going to Church and being a Catholic (skipped a few years in my 20’s and obviously did not pay attention in Catechism). I attend Sunday Mass and at least one weekday Mass every week. But I really feel foolish that I do not know why we do every single thing we do at every moment in a Mass, Confession etc.

Here is where it really hit me. I have not been to confession in 20+ years. My child had first reconciliation this past weekend so my wife and I decided it was time to step up. We both went to confession. My first issue was that as I was waiting I realized I do not know the Act of Contrition. Secondly, I was a bumbling fool saying stuff like, “I guess I do this and that etc.”, “I guess that is all I have”.

My questions are, is it ok to read the Act of Contrition off of a “cheat sheet”? And did my confession really amount to much if I was confused and a babbling idiot talking in circles?

Thanks!
 
First, good for you for going to confession! :clapping: That’s wonderful!

Many confessionals have the Act of Contrition posted in case anyone needs it, so I think it’s fine for you to bring a copy in with you until you remember it by heart.

As long as you were repentant and the priest absolved you of your sins, then yes, your confession amounted to plenty, don’t worry. 😉 I often cry in confession – not necessarily because of any one particular sin, but because of an overall feeling of sadness for my failures and gratitude for Jesus’ mercy. As long as you’re genuine, don’t worry about “babbling.” 😉

Regarding knowing why we do everything we do during Mass, here’s a great resource:
davidmacd.com/catholic/catholic_mass_bible_references_full_text.htm

I don’t have personal experience of this, but I’ve heard of some people taking RCIA as a “refresher course” if they’ve been away from the church for a long time. (Someone please chime in with details or if this is incorrect – it seems I read it on CAF somewhere…) Perhaps this would be a great time for you and your wife to do so, to enable you to bring your souls closer to Jesus and be better able to do the same for your kids. 👍 😃 (If not this, maybe you can find some good books to help with this.)

God bless! 😃

PM me if I can help in any way. 🙂
 
ifrydr said:
Ok, I am 44 years old, therefore I have 44 years of going to Church and being a Catholic (skipped a few years in my 20’s and obviously did not pay attention in Catechism). I attend Sunday Mass and at least one weekday Mass every week. But I really feel foolish that I do not know why we do every single thing we do at every moment in a Mass, Confession etc.

Here is where it really hit me. I have not been to confession in 20+ years. My child had first reconciliation this past weekend so my wife and I decided it was time to step up. We both went to confession. My first issue was that as I was waiting I realized I do not know the Act of Contrition. Secondly, I was a bumbling fool saying stuff like, “I guess I do this and that etc.”, “I guess that is all I have”.

My questions are, is it ok to read the Act of Contrition off of a “cheat sheet”? And did my confession really amount to much if I was confused and a babbling idiot talking in circles?

Thanks!
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First of all, consider it a great gift from God that you have decided to go to Confession! 👍 Often it is the little children who lead us back into the fold.

Some parishes will have the Act of Contrition taped to the screen of the Confessional. Others will have cheat sheets in close proximity. If you need to take one with you to help you as you pray your Act of Contrition, go ahead. We need all of the help we can get sometimes.

One time, as we were making the final preparations for the Mass of the Erection of our Diocese and the Installation of our first bishop, I asked one of the priests if he could hear my confession. Everything went fine and dandy, and then, horror of horrors, I forgot the Act of Contrition, just plum went blank. He was laughing because prior to the confession, we were having this big brouhaha over rituals. I wanted to duck under the seat. But, we managed.

Hey. It happens to all of us.
 
benedictgal said:
Everything went fine and dandy, and then, horror of horrors, **I forgot the Act of Contrition, just plum went blank. ** He was laughing because prior to the confession, we were having this big brouhaha over rituals. I wanted to duck under the seat. But, we managed.

Hey. It happens to all of us.
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Yup, it’s happened to me too. 😊 :doh2: But like you said, it’s no big deal. 😃
 
Unless someone beat me to it, let me offer this link.
ifrydr said:
My questions are, is it ok to read the Act of Contrition off of a “cheat sheet”? And did my confession really amount to much if I was confused and a babbling idiot talking in circles?
Thanks!
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I encourage cheat sheets until you have the formula down pat - and it doesn’t take long at all.

As long as the priest said, “I absolve you…” then you’re good to go.

And you’re NOT A DOPE!
 
Hurray for you!!! 😃

The Act of Contrition does not have to be a formal memorized prayer, either, you are free to express a prayer of sorrow for sins and resolve to do better in your own words. (When I get nervous, I tend to forget the “grown up” Act of Contrition and end up saying the one I taught second graders for a number of years before their First Confession. :o )
 
Although I have the Act of Contrition memorized, there have been times when I just said my own personal prayer of contrition; something like, “I am sorry for all my sins, Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.”

No one expects you to be a “professional” at Confession when you are new at it. As you go more often, you will develop an assurance of how to go about it. Whether you are smooth at it, or bumbling around, what really matter is – are you contrite?

Just to help you for next time: go over an “examination of conscience” before your next Confession. You can find it on-line. It’s a series of questions you ask yourself to see where you might have sinned. And it’s OK to have a cheat sheet for your sins and/or for the Act of Contrition. (Just remember to shred that list of sins when you’re done!)
 
ifrydr said:
Ok, I am 44 years old, therefore I have 44 years of going to Church and being a Catholic (skipped a few years in my 20’s and obviously did not pay attention in Catechism). I attend Sunday Mass and at least one weekday Mass every week. But I really feel foolish that I do not know why we do every single thing we do at every moment in a Mass, Confession etc.

Here is where it really hit me. I have not been to confession in 20+ years. My child had first reconciliation this past weekend so my wife and I decided it was time to step up. We both went to confession. My first issue was that as I was waiting I realized I do not know the Act of Contrition. Secondly, I was a bumbling fool saying stuff like, “I guess I do this and that etc.”, “I guess that is all I have”.

My questions are, is it ok to read the Act of Contrition off of a “cheat sheet”? And did my confession really amount to much if I was confused and a babbling idiot talking in circles?

Thanks!
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It’s a great start!! 👍

Make a regular habit of family Confession, once a month or whatever works for you. As you get more used to doing it, you’ll be able to pick up on stuff that you missed - for example, you can say, “A sin from my past that remains unconfessed is …” whatever it may be.

The cool thing about Confession, though, is it’s the one thing in life you can do really badly, and still succeed at - if you meant to make a good Confession, then as far as God is concerned, you did. 👍
 
IrishAm said:
Hurray for you!!! 😃

The Act of Contrition does not have to be a formal memorized prayer, either, you are free to express a prayer of sorrow for sins and resolve to do better in your own words. (When I get nervous, I tend to forget the “grown up” Act of Contrition and end up saying the one I taught second graders for a number of years before their First Confession. :o )
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That’s the only one I have memorized. 😊 Thank God we have it posted in the confessional.
 
ifrydr said:
Ok, I am 44 years old, therefore I have 44 years of going to Church and being a Catholic (skipped a few years in my 20’s and obviously did not pay attention in Catechism). I attend Sunday Mass and at least one weekday Mass every week. But I really feel foolish that I do not know why we do every single thing we do at every moment in a Mass, Confession etc.

Here is where it really hit me. I have not been to confession in 20+ years. My child had first reconciliation this past weekend so my wife and I decided it was time to step up. We both went to confession. My first issue was that as I was waiting I realized I do not know the Act of Contrition. Secondly, I was a bumbling fool saying stuff like, “I guess I do this and that etc.”, “I guess that is all I have”.

My questions are, is it ok to read the Act of Contrition off of a “cheat sheet”? And did my confession really amount to much if I was confused and a babbling idiot talking in circles?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
Yes, you can read off a “cheat” sheet. In fact, our pastor has three versions (in two languages) mounted to the front of the kneeler so that people can read them if they need to. While, as has been said, it doesn’t have to be a formal recited prayer, most people, especially the kids get flustered if they can’t remember so posting them just helps them feel more comfortable.

Next time you go, just tell the priest that this last time was the first time in a long time and you have since organized your thoughts better (using an Examination of Conscience) and want to go over some things.

Many priests have a regular routine they use for those who have been lax about going to Confession for a while. 😉 My own priest just kind of takes over and goes through the ten commandments and precepts of the Church. (don’t ask how I know that :o ) The confessee just has to answer “yes” “no” or with a number.

But as long as you didn’t withhold any thing on purpose, you are good and forgiven already. 👍
 
ifrydr said:
Ok, I am 44 years old, therefore I have 44 years of going to Church and being a Catholic (skipped a few years in my 20’s and obviously did not pay attention in Catechism). I attend Sunday Mass and at least one weekday Mass every week. But I really feel foolish that I do not know why we do every single thing we do at every moment in a Mass, Confession etc.

Here is where it really hit me. I have not been to confession in 20+ years. My child had first reconciliation this past weekend so my wife and I decided it was time to step up. We both went to confession. My first issue was that as I was waiting I realized I do not know the Act of Contrition. Secondly, I was a bumbling fool saying stuff like, “I guess I do this and that etc.”, “I guess that is all I have”.

My questions are, is it ok to read the Act of Contrition off of a “cheat sheet”? And did my confession really amount to much if I was confused and a babbling idiot talking in circles?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
What a great thing to do! I really admire you for going back to confession after 20+ years… you are NOT even close to being a dope!

I was a lukewarm Catholic for several years and experienced a powerful conversion experience a few years back. At that time I realized that despite 12 years of Catholic school and weekly Mass attendance, I knew virtually nothing about my faith. I started doing lots of reading, watching EWTN, listening to Catholic Answers, hanging out on this forum and I’ve learned quite a bit about the Faith.

I also started going to confession every 2 weeks and it has made a huge difference in my life. The grace that you receive will completely transform you. I usually write my sins down on an index card (as I commit them) and take it into the confessional with me. When I receive absolution I rip it up.

Thanks again for posting and you and your wife are both great parents for going to confession. You could’t set a better example for your child. I recommend that you keep going regularly and see what happens in your life!

God Bless,
Gary
 
Thank you all very much for the help and the encouragement!

It is appreciated very much.

Thanks!!
 
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