Confession and confusion

[Nikopol]

I’ll apologise in advance for the long text.

I have a somewhat unusual problem, please understand that I’m new at all this and completely ignorant when it comes to Catholic traditions.

After not showing up in church (and not believing) since my First Communion (some 10-11 years ago) I decided to contact the nearest priest. I told him how I recently found out that one gets automatic excommunication for desecrating a Host and needs Papal absolution to be forgiven. And I remembered that I spit out a part of mine after my First Communion. I told him that I do not remember the reason to why I did that but that I believe it was because I thought it would get stuck in my throat (I was a paranoid kid) and that I’m now worried whether I’m excommunicated or not.

He didn’t seem to think it was a particulary serious sin (I suppose that my intention and the reason why I spat it out is very important?) and has offered me to confess there, in his office, and not inside a confessional, is that a problem? Also, he asked me if I have anything else to confess, and I did have a 15 minute speech prepared listing all my major sins but once he asked me I was just left speechless (I have social phobia and find it hard to communicate with strangers unless I’m online and anonymous). I only mentioned being an atheist, making fun of religion and insulting God in my past and started thinking for 7-8 seconds after which he simply continued and told me to pray the Lord’s Prayer once for penance at the church there. I asked him how to get from the office to the church, he gave me the directions but I misunderstood him and went to the front door which was locked. Then I went home and prayed what he told me.

So now I’m confused, was my confession proper if I didn’t pray at a church like he told me? And because I didn’t tell him all my sins? Also, I was expecting a 1000 of Lord’s Prayers and a 1000 of Hail Marys for penance given how I spent 10 years living in blasphemy. I would just like some opinions on the situation. The priest did take me seriously and saw that I obviously regret my decisions and am very ashamed. And one more question, I still feel embarrased and guilty, as if my sins can never disappear, is that wrong? Normal?

Thank you

 

[Gordon_Sims]

When you spat out the host at your First Communion, it’s not likely you were aware that you were committing a sin, let alone a mortal sin, so I doubt that it would have counted as one.

As far as your penance goes, you shouldn’t have to say it in a church. I prefer to say mine in the church after I confess, but if I got to a scheduled Confession at the rectory when the church is locked, I can’t exactly do it then. I also don’t stick around to say my penance in the church if it’s too noisy.

Regarding the punitive nature of penances, they tend to be much lighter than when I was a kid. I had to say two Hail Marys and two Our Fathers the last time I went, which was the toughest penance prayer-wise that I’ve gotten in a while. Most of my penances anymore are to do something nice for my wife, help someone out, etc.

Since you didn’t confess all your mortal sins, even though you’ve been absolved, you should mention them again at your next Confession. You may want to schedule it with your priest, explain the circumstances and write them down in advance (bring the list with you) so you don’t forget them. I use a confession app and review it before going into the confessional, and even though I now go frequently enough that I don’t have that much to confess when I go, I tend to always forget one or two sins. Luckily they’re usually just venial sins, but I have a tendency to say, “Oh, wait…” after the priest has already given his absolution.

 

[acadian]

I’ll apologise in advance for the long text.

So now I’m confused, was my confession proper if I didn’t pray at a church like he told me? And because I didn’t tell him all my sins? Also, I was expecting a 1000 of Lord’s Prayers and a 1000 of Hail Marys for penance given how I spent 10 years living in blasphemy. I would just like some opinions on the situation. The priest did take me seriously and saw that I obviously regret my decisions and am very ashamed. And one more question, I still feel embarrased and guilty, as if my sins can never disappear, is that wrong? Normal?

Thank you

Your confession was good. God’s forgiveness does not depend on you doing your penance or most likely, where you do it.

All of your sins are forgiven, as long as you did not “forget” them on purpose. Next time, make a list and take it with you I. Case you have brain freeze again.

Penances are usually pretty “light”. Some say “the heavier the sins, the lighter the penance”. Jesus already bled and suffered for our sins. I once had a priest who gave “One Our Father” for everything.

I usually enter the confessional ashamed and nervous, but I usually leave full of hope and encouragement. But your mileage may vary, I suppose.

Welcome back!

 

[michaelmas]

Your confession was good. God’s forgiveness does not depend on you doing your penance or most likely, where you do it.

All of your sins are forgiven, as long as you did not “forget” them on purpose. Next time, make a list and take it with you I. Case you have brain freeze again.

Penances are usually pretty “light”. Some say “the heavier the sins, the lighter the penance”. Jesus already bled and suffered for our sins. I once had a priest who gave “One Our Father” for everything.

I usually enter the confessional ashamed and nervous, but I usually leave full of hope and encouragement. But your mileage may vary, I suppose.

Welcome back!

Welcome back!

If you deliberately withheld a sin then you should go to confession again. You had to make that choice yourself. If you forgot, all is forgiven.

Whenever I am done I try to say, and for any other sin I may have forgotten or fail to realize the severity I offer up in this confession.

Do not minimize God’s forgiveness. God loves you and wants you to succeed.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Welcome Back Home!

Please do not second-guess your absolution. You have been absolved of the most important sins - skipping Mass all those years and denying your faith.

Find out the regular schedule for confession at your parish (or another one that is convienient for you) and begin to go to confession regularly. Once a month works out best for most people. Since you are still nervous about the process, I also recommend that you try to go to the same priest each time. Then you will not have to be worried about any variations in the what the priest says or advises.

Make sure you get to Mass each Sunday (any Mass from Saturday evening to Sunday evening) from now on.

 

[Garyjohn2]

Everyone has good advice already. I just wanted to commend you on going to confession and repenting after so long. I know it is a hard thing to do, especially if you have any kind of phobia. It took a lot of guts. I know because I’ve done it! The Holy Spirit prompts us constantly for conversion and repentance, but its so easy to find excuses. I am thankful that God is so gracious and afforded you the grace to listen to these promptings.

Good job! I found that the more I go to confession the less anxious I am each time. You got the hardest part over all ready. Be at ease, and follow up when you can.

 

[Joe_5859]

Everyone basically said anything that I would have said, but I just wanted to say welcome home! God is good!