Confession and its role in scandals

[Aquinas11]

Yes he is. He is saying if more boys reported the abuse they wouldn’t be abused since they wouldn’t be targeted. Just like if more women stopped wearing short skirts to bars they wouldn’t be raped since they wouldn’t be targeted.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

He is saying boys hide it due to shame. Girls do too. It’s got nothing to do with the random rape of a woman who is at a bar. Please don’t conflate them

This is why survivors wait decades to tell anyone of their experience.

The Australian discussion is saying education needs to happen in schools about what’s not acceptable, and who to tell.

 

[twf]

It’s not required, but it is a canonical option.

 

[Aquinas11]

He is saying boys hide it due to shame. Girls do too.

And he specifically said boys are unique in underreporting abuse which is the reason they are targeted & abused

 

[Aquinas11]

I’m definitely not blaming the victims! I resent the implication!

It’s not my opinion. I’m just reading the plain text of your post. You specifically said the reason boys are abused more than girls is they underreport the abuse, hence are targeted more by predators. No different than saying women wearing short skirts are targeted more by predator than women wearing long skirts.

It’s an action of the victim that is assigned as the prime reason for being targeted rather than moral choice of the perpetrator

 

[Horton]

I think it is implemented far more than you may believe. It may have a different name. I’ve never heard of VIRTUS until I heard here on CAF and I am the director of youth ministry at my parish. Our program is called something else but does the same thing. We also have the program for the youth.

No one in our diocese does anything with children without this training. I can’t imagine any diocese not implementing some program to protect kids and volunteers, given the events in 2002 that made it necessary to have them.

It’s not difficult training to deliver nor extremely time consuming to do. So much is common sense and more becomes the “oh, that makes sense” when staff or volunteers are given information. We train all volunteers to go to the ministry leader to report any questionable behavior they see, even if they are not sure. That way they don’t have to make the determination themselves, the ministry leader does.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Abusers are predators. Like any kind of predator, they are very good at targeting potential “prey” that they can take most easily and get away with it. It is not their plan to get caught. Abusers are very good at spotting good victims and "grooming’ them to be victims. It is not an opportunistic thing. It is purposeful and thought out. This is why boys are more often abused. Boys are in a position of looking up to priests as a role models AND boys have a higher level of guilt and embarrassment about reporting the abuse.

Keep it in context

And he specifically said boys are unique in underreporting abuse which is the reason they are targeted & abused

There is no implication of victim blaming

 

[Nigel7]

I admit my reply was somewhat shortsighted and that people can be more vulnerable in a confessional situation. More than anything though it’s about corruption. Frustrating for everyone, especially for the victims.

 

[Canvas]

But if the Confessor were to accidentally mention or even hint at anything said in Confession, then there could be trouble. They can’t act on any information learned in Confession. So being a whistleblower becomes quite difficult.

The seal of Confession is so important that it can be used to potentially neutralize clerical witnesses.

 

[Canvas]

At Catholic schools in my area even parents chaperoning field trips have to take a class in it. The Archdiocese isn’t taking ANY chances that any child at a Catholic school would even be looked at funny.

 

[OraLabora]

3-5 are non-starters. They violate the seal of confession.

Not entirely, 3 is allowed in some circumstances. Canon law allows for interpreters.

Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason.

§2. The interpreter, if there is one, and all others who in any way have knowledge of sins from confession are also obliged to observe secrecy.

 

[Aquinas11]

No it is very different. The implication of short skirts is that it attracts the abuse.

Right and knowing you have a boy victim who likely won’t report you also “attracts the abuse” relative to a girl victim who likely will report you.

 

[Aquinas11]

This is why abusers choose boys more often than girls and children more often than adults.

False on it’s face. PA report said vast majority abuse cases are teenage and adult males. Very few children.

 

[JulianN]

True—but the OP was talking about parents and caregivers.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

-Returning to traditional confession booths with partitions (may address some of the physical issues?)

These never went away in many of the churches I visit.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Wow so now we’re blaming the victim (for underreporting abuse)

That’s not what CradleCath0lic said.

Yes he is.

Not he isn’t.

He is saying if more boys reported the abuse they wouldn’t be abused since they wouldn’t be targeted.

Nope, not at all. What is described are the results of how adults condition boys and men to deal with certain things. More than girls they are expected not to cry, not to complain, to man up. Adult often expect children to handle difficult things as an adult would to help toughen them up. And while this happens to all genders it happens to boys and men more so. This is so firmly entrenched in our culture that parents can take a completely different approach, but other family, neighbors, school, media, etc with undermine their efforts.

So no, there’s no victim blaming by CradleCath0lic here.

And he specifically said boys are unique in underreporting abuse which is the reason they are targeted & abused

That’s not blame! You are seriously twisting what that poster said.

 

[kainosktisis]

I am a sexual abuse/incest survivor myself, & I don’t pick up any blaming the victim. The poster is merely stating why victims won’t come forward. It’s true. I’m a woman, but shame is a factor in the silence - also fear of being disbelieved - being blamed - being shunned. Some abusers can threaten their victims or their families to prevent disclosure.

 

[Aquinas11]

I am a sexual abuse/incest survivor myself, & I don’t pick up any blaming the victim. The poster is merely stating why victims won’t come forward. It’s true. I’m a woman, but shame is a factor in the silence - also fear of being disbelieved - being blamed - being shunned. Some abusers can threaten their victims or their families to prevent disclosure.

No he’s saying far more than that. His post states that
(1) the ONLY reason that there is more males abused than females (PA report & other data indicates 80-85% cases are male-male) is males underreporting abuse which makes them more frequent target = no evidence supports that assertion. I agree victims understandably are hesitant to come forward. I do NOT agree that males underreporting is ONLY reason that 80% abuse cases are male-male AND
(2) homosexual desire plays NO role, none, contradicting PA report which said most abuse was between teen/adult males & males and involved homosexual interactions and 2005 Vatican law forbidding Gay celibate priests (after 2002 report findings) AND
(3) that most abuse cases are children not adults which also directly contradicts PA report stating vast majority was teen and adult males, very few children

 

[kainosktisis]

Well, I’m not seeing this from the OP. Perhaps I missed it…? But even if stated as such, I’m not reading any blame on the victim - which is as it should be. The main point is that victims don’t often report for various reasons.

I, too, have heard that the John Jay Report stated that it was a homosexual problem, that post-pubescent males were the main victims in 80+% of the cases, & that minors constituted about 3% of the victims.

 

[Aquinas11]

I think it is important not to over-simplify the problem. It is also important to understand the victimology of abuse.

Abusers are predators. Like any kind of predator, they are very good at targeting potential “prey” that they can take most easily and get away with it. It is not their plan to get caught. Abusers are very good at spotting good victims and "grooming’ them to be victims. It is not an opportunistic thing. It is purposeful and thought out. This is why boys are more often abused. Boys are in a position of looking up to priests as a role models AND boys have a higher level of guilt and embarrassment about reporting the abuse. The shame is more of a deterrent than justice would be as a motivator to take action. Keep in mind these are kids, who are at a severe disadvantage in terms of worldly wisdom. This is why abusers choose boys more often than girls and children more often than adults. It is not about sexual preference. It is about vulnerability. And it is more about a perverse control need than a sexual desire.

See above where states “this is why boys are more often abused” and “higher degree of guilt and embarrassment about reporting” = suggesting male underreportimg ALONE accounts for high number (80-85%) male-male cases! Nothing supports this

Then says “children more often than adults” = completely false based on PA report where majority are teen/adult, very few children

Then “not about sexual preference” = again completely false as case after case in PA report was adult adult male and homosexual and 2005 Vatican law already prohibits gay celibate priests and 2013 Pope Francis told Seminary regarding potential gay candidate “if any doubt best not to accept them”