Deacon Ed:
Let me provide a theological framework for this topic.
The Church teaches that certain sins are objectively mortally sinful. However, the circumstances surrounding the commission of such an action may mitigate any guilt that may be associated with the action. Thus, the priest must ask about the circumstances surrounding the commission of any given action in order to determine if the action was mortally sinful or not.
This may or may not apply to the priest in question, but is designed to provide some background information.
Deacon Ed
Unfortunately, there are some sins, that some priests would mitigate away for 100% of the people. On such example, is that of self-abuse because the CCC specifically states that there are mitigating circumstances).
However, while a confessor may see mitigating circumstances, a good confessor will offer to work with the penitent to help bring it to an end, rather than leave the penitent to think there is no hope or that it isn’t sinful enough to bother. To the contrary, I’ve heard many cases of good priests telling the penitent to come back frequently, encouraging them to use the sacraments more, and providing them with ideas on how they can avoid the near occasion of sin. Each week they work with adjusting this or that to see what will finally bring it to an end. For some, it may never end, but better to try and fail for an entire lifetime than to simply give up out of some kind of despair or notion that “it isn’t sinful”.
Some progressive priests are so convinced that this is not sinful under any circumstance that they project this attitude in the confessional. Using self-abuse as an example again, the priest should never say it is not sinful. Rather it is gravely sinful, but he can tell the penitent that he believes that due to the force of habit, or age, or what-not, the guilt the person has is more venial than mortal. Then, he should offer to work with the person. When a priest tells a penitent that self-abuse is not sinful, it is a different story. This is simply code for “no need to stop what you are doing”.
Also, I find it troubling that any priest would not offer absolution on the basis that “something isn’t sinful” if it is a case where something is considered grave, but the CCC allows for mitigating circumstances. Afterall, I go to confession every 1-2 weeks to work on matters of virtue and even with no mortal sin, the priest gives me absolution.
Timmyo:
Pray for this priest and find a priest who will challenge you to sanctity even if your guilt on any particular sin could be mitigated away. A priest can actually cause someone to stop trying by their words. They do so by convincing the pentitent that its not sinful, or not sinful enough, or simply too hard to control - whatever it is you were trying to confess.
I believe that through your attempt to confess, God will accept this confession, but I truly believe you should re-confess it with a priest known for orthodoxy, if you have access to one. Tell him what the other priest said and request absolution.
I had an issue once that fell on a gray line and never had a priest challenge me on it. I finally decided it needed to come to an end and I found an orthodox priest and asked him if he would challenge me to sanctity. At the very least it was unvirtuous, and my new confessor agreed. The long bad, less-than-virtuous habit came to an end very quickly under his guidance. That resulted in pure freedom.
