Confession, and Mass obligation

[CatholicQuestions]

I had a good read on the latest post in Catholic Answers Website “What True Faith Requires” by Douglas M. Beaumont

But there are 2 topic which I can’t assent to the Church at the moment. I am here for advice, hopefully brothers and sisters will lead me back to the Church. I will appreciate if any priest were to reply to this too.

Firstly, I disclaim that I understand the good intention/reason of Confession and also obligation of attending Mass. However,

1. Confession
   what if someone have trust issue/anxiety/depression?
   This is not about whether priest would divulge about your confession (Seal of Confession).
   This is not about, oh your sins are very common, need not to be shy about it, the priest have already heard them all.
   It is just that the action to share something personal to someone else, that action alone is intimidating.
   “Go to a Priest you trust, etc,”, but, one wouldn’t be able to do that if their trust issue/anxiety is serious. Worst, going confession unprepared/ having bad confession experience will worsen anxiety.
   My current stand is, confession is generally good, but it might not be good/applicable to everyone?
2. Mass Obligation
   “If you are committed, you would make time no matter how busy you are, stop finding excuses”
   “If you are busy in your life, you need God even more, and should go to Mass more often than you are not”
   “Learn to do time management, that one or 2 hours in Mass isn’t that long”
   Well for someone with poor time management, do you think it is better that they solve their inner-conflict first, learn the time management first, untie all their knot, and then go for Mass with their full attention.
   It will be meaningless if one were to attend mass, while worry about their life problem in the middle of the mass? Or regretted going to mass because lack of time to attend to their life.
   They won’t appreciate the mass even if they attend it.

Advice appreciated. Thank you brothers and sisters.

Edit:
I have been a Catholic for years
I know what is right and wrong according to Catechism
I am not asking if I should go to confession nor asking if I should attend mass.

I am saying that the the Catholic religion has been a burden for me, especially the requirement of confession and mass obligation (Please stop telling the importance of those, please don’t tell me things which I can google easily)

I am here looking for PRACTICAL advice, advice which can solve my internal conflict
1)trust issue to go for confession and
2) time management issue vs Mass Obligation
(please don’t tell me “to attend mass or to pray more, then God will bless me with time management skills”)
If you evangelize to someone in hunger, you feed them first, then only you start preaching

 

[TK421]

The Jews viewed the Law as “sweeter than honey”, not as a burden.

God is the final infallible Judge in everything and is aware of each person’s unique disposition, but Confession is something that canonically applies to every (of age) Catholic at least once per year.

I would say that Confession can often be (but not always) even more helpful for the least willing people than it can be for those most willing to go to it. There is almost incalculable suffering occurring within the Church as a result of neglect of the sacrament of Reconciliation and of neglect in preaching it.

One of the best ways to become better at time management is to fulfill the Holy Days of obligation. St Francis de Sales says that a person ought to pray 30 minutes a day, unless they are very busy, in which case they ought to pray an hour a day.

If a person is rendered impossible to attend, such as a mother or father caring for sick children, then St Alphonsus Liguori notes that they receive more graces through obedience than they would otherwise receive from the Holy Eucharist itself. But if a person is just skipping Mass, I don’t suspect even a single person on Earth wouldn’t be able to come up with some sort of excuse or another.

Peace.

 

[Pup7]

Most of the time it takes longer to get coffee in a Starbucks than it does to go to Confession. Just an observation.

 

[Mtdobbs]

I think that a person recieves the same grace from watching Mass for Shut-ins(if needed) as oppose to physically going. For a person suffering from terrible anxiety/stress, I think Mass for shut ins is a perfectly acceptable option and one would be fulfilling their obligation.

Is there such a thing as “confession for shut ins”? Could this be canonically approved?

 

[edward_george1]

If someone is ill, they aren’t bound by the obligation. This would include severe enough anxiety and stress that preclude normal functioning. But it simply isn’t true that watching Mass on TV is the same as actually going, and still less is it true that it satisfies one’s obligation to attend.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[Mtdobbs]

Why wouldnt they recieve the same grace? I mean if somebody brought them the Eucharist also. I can’t see how a person who is medically unable to attend but still participated in watching, saying all the Mass parts, receiving communion… wouldn’t recieve the same grace. I can’t see the grace of God being bound by that… Please explain so I can try to understand

 

[edward_george1]

Because the sacraments are meant to take place in person. You can’t tell me that actually physically going to church and going to Mass is the very same thing as watching it on television, even if one receives communion after having done this. It’s still a good thing to do, I’m not saying it isn’t. But there’s a difference between attending Mass and watching it virtually. Where do you draw the line? Does Mass have to be live in order to impart grace, or could grace be picked up on videotape?

 

[Mtdobbs]

I’m just saying it doesn’t seem right (I’m not saying I’m not wrong) that if a person is medically unable to be at Mass ( but wants to be there) but watches it, says the prayers and receives the Eucharist… that God would be unable to give them the same grace.

One priest told me : “God is generous. He grants grace to every worthy soul.”

If priests become more scarce in some places and Mass via internet or tv is the only option for a month or more, then what?

What about countries that outlaw Catholicism? Would confession via internet or video chat never be acceptable?

 

[edward_george1]

You’re bringing up a number of different issues all at once.

1. There is no obligation binding someone who is not able to attend Mass.
2. God can give his grace to whomever he wants however he wants.
3. However, he has established the sacraments as the ordinary means by which we are to receive that particular kind of grace.
4. Watching Mass on TV isn’t the same as actually going, any more than watching a football game on TV isn’t the same as actually going. If I watch a war movie tonight, and then call up the DoD and ask for my service medals, they’ll laugh at me, since I didn’t actually serve in combat, I watched it on TV. While the analogy is not perfect since there is a spiritual element to Mass that isn’t present in the military example, the basic principle is the same: being present for an event and watching it meditated are not the same thing.
5. Confession via phone or Internet is categorically ruled out, on the basis of the necessity of physical proximity for the sacraments to be carried out. Furthermore, there’s the concern for privacy that naturally accompanies using either media.

I understand your concern, but this is simply the means by which we have to work. Reality is reality. God is not bound by the sacraments, but we are.

 

[CatholicQuestions]

Dear TK421,

Thank you for your reply and good intention, but unfortunately it doesn’t address any of the issue, i.e.

1 ) trust issue to go for confession (i aware importance of confession, and also aware the Seal of Confession, but the trust issue/anxiety makes it intimidating to confess to another human being)

1. internal struggle to attend mass (I wouldnt be at ease and wont be able to pay full attention while attending mass because I have unfinished business. I know the quote about St
   Francis’s quote, but that is like expecting miracle to happen. Yes God can perform miracle, but we need practical solution instead of waiting for miracle alone)

I understand the importance of confessions and mass attendance, else I won’t even bother to ask this question here.

I cant be in fully union with the Church if i disagree with anyone of the teachings, and these two issues are holding me back.
I am hoping to find answer which can untie my knot.

Thank you once again TK421

 

[ascetic]

Well, this is just from my own experience and level of understanding, so take my advice(and my disclaimer there) for whatever it’s worth.

1. God is omniscient. He knows how much levels like trust, anxiety, and depression actually affect our ability to make good confessions. He knows it better that I do. I use the 1st person there since I have 2.5 of those 3. I’d say our obligation is to do as much as we can on any given day and pray with expectant faith to be able to receive the sacrament in its fullness.
2. Maybe the hypothetical person should sit in the back and pray. Does s/he have a rosary? Maybe not receive the Eucharist depending on specifics. Every time I have gone to mass in mortal sin (no Eucharist) or even been distracted by unwanted, stressing thoughts, I have still grown closer to God than I would have if I had not gone. If nothing else, it would fulfill this person’s Sabbath obligation as far as I know.

 

[TheLittleLady]

God does not require what would harm us. Everything required of us is for our benefit.

 

[Brendan_64]

It will be meaningless if one were to attend mass, while worry about their life problem in the middle of the mass? Or regretted going to mass because lack of time to attend to their life.

It is still far, far better to go to Mass, even if you are distracted all the way through and thinking about other things, than to not go to Mass at all. Far, far better. It is certainly not meaningless.

They should just go and try to do their best, but if the person is distracted involuntarily throughout and cannot concentrate properly, then I don’t think that is actually a grave sin.

 

[Mtdobbs]

Thank you for your answer! It causes some conflict within me, which isn’t a bad thing. I was viewing it more emotionally than objectively. It still is a challenge for me to accept, because it doesn’t seem “Just” but I am ok with being challenged when I find out I am wrong! Again, thank you for answering my questions! I appreciate it.

 

[CatholicQuestions]

Thank you for your reply, but unfortunately it address none of the issues I have mentioned. I have edited my original post to include more details.
Thank you once again

 

[CatholicQuestions]

Thank you for your reply, but unfortunately it address none of the issues I have mentioned.
I am not asking about whether it is a grave sin to attend Mass with distracted mind, I am looking for practical advice, hopefully one which can untie my knot.
I have edited my original post to include more details.
Thank you once again

 

[bobperk]

Confession: perhaps try going to confession at a parish different from your regular one, maybe even one several miles from home, and say it from behind the screen instead of face-to-face.

 

[ascetic]

Advice appreciated. Thank you brothers and sisters.

Edit:
I have been a Catholic for years
I know what is right and wrong according to Catechism
I am not asking if I should go to confession nor asking if I should attend mass.

I am saying that the the Catholic religion has been a burden for me, especially the requirement of confession and mass obligation (Please stop telling the importance of those, please don’t tell me things which I can google easily)

I am here looking for PRACTICAL advice, advice which can solve my internal conflict
1)trust issue to go for confession and
2) time management issue vs Mass Obligation
(please don’t tell me “to attend mass or to pray more, then God will bless me with time management skills”)
If you evangelize to someone in hunger, you feed them first, then only you start preaching

Well, FWIW, I did go back to read your edit before posting this. I’m a little confused since you only asked two questions the first time (I counted the question marks) and made one statement with a question mark. I answered both questions to the best of my ability since you said you were here for advice before you asked the questions.

I suspected you were talking about yourself the first time around but respected your apparent desire to maintain the 3rd person. I assume it’s no longer necessary after reading your edit.

1. Glad you clarified this. Since you clarified, this is the 1/2 that I was referring to, so maybe our experiences are an example of dissimilitude. For argument’s sake, we’ll say that it is completely, but that wouldn’t negate the advice I gave per your request. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough. Let’s say you have one mortal sin and three venials. Of course, you should confess them all in that order, but an omniscient God knows whether or not you can adequately make the full, complete confession, which was why I recommended trying to do it to the best of your ability. Specifically, under the conditions laid out in my hypothetical, you confess what you can in the knowledge that God knows you better than you know yourself: including whether or not you’re capable of confessing which sins.
2. If I’m reading your clarification correctly, you’re looking for a way to reconcile your time management issue with your mass obligation, which was why I originally said that the random 3rd person, who I suspected was you, should just sit in the back and pray. If you walk in late, that’s the best way to go anyhow. If you’re mentally distracted, what better place to soak up God than praying the rosary at church? Do you have one? It seems that’s the perfect way to resolve the internal conflict you specified in your edit.

 

[ascetic]

It seems like when you said:

Well for someone with poor time management, do you think it is better that they solve their inner-conflict first, learn the time management first, untie all their knot, and then go for Mass with their full attention.
It will be meaningless if one were to attend mass, while worry about their life problem in the middle of the mass? Or regretted going to mass because lack of time to attend to their life.
They won’t appreciate the mass even if they attend it.

you were really making a statement by working backward from a conclusion you’ve already reached rather than looking for advice, but you said you wanted advice, so that’s what I gave.

If you evangelize to someone in hunger, you feed them first, then only you start preaching

If hunger is analogous to providing advice, I’ve baked you a potato because I can’t afford chicken, much less steak. I haven’t preached at all. It seems that you want to throw the potato in the trash and then complain that I haven’t fed you.

I’m sorry my advice couldn’t help you, but remember my own disclaimer. May God help you along your journey.

 

[1ke]

I am saying that the the Catholic religion has been a burden for me, especially the requirement of confession and mass obligation (Please stop telling the importance of those, please don’t tell me things which I can google easily)

You need some help from a mental health professional. That’s my advice.