Wisdom comes with age. Let’s look at the continuum of wisdom and where you may be finding yourself.
True wisdom is a great grace. In your situation, it would manifest itself by an increased love for God and the conviction that your sins are separating you from Him. You would be regretting having committed them, rejecting them and wishing to make amends for them in order to have greater union with God.
At another level of wisdom, you might be realizing that with each passing year, you get closer to your death and particular judgement. The possibility of eternal punishment looms large and is very frightening. You know your unconfessed sins stand in the way of a good outcome at your judgement.
On yet another level, you realize that you are no longer as attractive to the opposite sex as you once were, perhaps your finances no longer allow you to travel or dress as well as you once did, or perhaps you no longer drive and can’t get out to meet anyone. Or perhaps physical changes and the side effects of your ever-growing collection of prescriptions are reducing your pleasure. You throw up your hands and decide it’s no longer worth the trouble. But you look back fondly on your earlier escapades and sincerely wish you could still keep up with your younger self.
If you find yourself in either of the first two situations, you have sufficient contrition to be forgiven in confession. If your contrition is imperfect, as in the second example, the Sacrament makes up the difference for you.
If, however, you find yourself in the third example, you do have a lot more thinking and growing to do. But nothing is impossible with God! Wanting to be repentant is an important first step. Maybe you’re flirting with that first step, and if so, know that God is waiting for you to take the tiniest baby step so He can swoop in and help you. He’s a gentleman and won’t override your free will, but He’s (literally) dying to help you.
Prayers for you!
Betsy
